choosing men

y'know, when i choose my men, looks used to be way down on the priority ladder. why? because i know that looks fade and if he weren't hawt ladies won't be very attracted to him – unless, of course, he's got shitloads of money.

that's why i tend to choose people who are, first and foremost, smart. the girls will know that not all of my interests are hawt. in fact, only a few were hawt. in fact, there was only two. wait. three, one of whom i did not find hawt but others seemed to find irresistible, for some strange reason. : /

anyhoos.


so. brains, right, is the first one to come up. if he ain't got brains, he sure as heck ain't got no sense of humour. not that one is interchangeable with the other, but the lack of the former more often than not denotes the lack of the latter – and we all know we gotta laugh a little sometimes.

...just not at the boyfriend, all the damn time.


can you imagine how sad that would be??

and if he doesn't have the wit he'd better have the smarts. so at least if he pisses you off you know it's a "worthy foe" instead of some lame duck who couldn't hurt you even if he hated your guts.

(this is different from having someone who loved you so much that he cannot bear to hurt you. VERY. different.)


second, i look for whether he can express himself well. if he can, he probably can make you laugh as well (brain/humour factor comes in here) and chances are he probably charmed you into getting together with him.

you'll know it if that's the case, because you would've been the one chasing him, not the other way round. unless, of course, you're every bit as good as he is, which probably means the playing ground will be more level (read: good thing).

a close third, is very simply, how he does in bed. i mean, seriously. if a man can show a woman a good time it's one more reason to stay. but if he's wimpy in bed then hey, it's like being together with a man who SNORES: you either sleep together or you don't. again, the ability to communicate comes into play here. no matter how good he is or how his dipstick resembles a baseball bat he still gotta know how to wave that magic wand to suit different kinds of spells.

because sometimes – just sometimes – that's not really possible without (say it with me) communication.

i mean, what if you like it like this and he does it like that? or he likes it that way and you prefer it so? trust me, it's going to need more specifics than "more uh-uh less ah-ah."

so there.

lastly, it will be whether he's got the "x-factor", so to speak. does not necessary mean good looks, but rather, the aura of sexy competence that says "hey joo. i is sleek rogue banker, hear my hunky rasp."

yes, one of my previous liasons was exactly like that. well, sans the "hey joo, i is..." part.

but oh, gawd, that one. that very one who sports a suit (yes, i do admit suits makes me do funny things) – he's not good-looking but oh good heavens, he's smart, savvy, suave, sexy, sexual – that's the one who causes literal sparks to zing when we are near each other, suit or no suit. it's not just his effect on me, it's my effect on him, too.

a-mazing, that one; it's not often that you find someone who turns you on like that. but well. there's are reasons why we didn't get together. we didn't have the second aspect with each other. that and that he is spoken for. :P


but ah, things we do when we're young and foolish.