pointless questions

please don't tease me, i dislike it.

don't start conversations with 'where are you' and 'who are you with' - there are so many other questions that get the same answer, and so much more pleasant; i'd hate to have another mother/father who desires to know where i am, who i'm with etc etc wtf.

please also do not ask me 'do you know who i am' - it gets my hackles up and i really really would say nasty things, especially if you are being coy with me over sms. you either tell me or you don't tell me. please don't have me guess.

i won't care to know who you are if you're asking me that question, especially if you had just gotten yourself a funky new number, or, better yet, 'privatised' your number. i'll be sorry once i find out who you are but it won't be before i tell you to stick your face where bobbafat's sun won't shine.


acquaintances who ask me 'how old do you think i am' in response to my asking 'how old are you' make me laugh and shake my head: that's vanity and i know it. worse, it might well be insecurity.

and before you even ask me, yes it shows.


i'm sorry if i sound harsh when you tease, if you tease. but should you tease, that's how i will respond. it's like tickling a person who doesn't like to be tickled: you get hit.

wen should know.


but seriously. please don't tease me. especially if you're close. you're deliberately doing something that i do not enjoy. i won't be able to find it in myself to do anything to you but i won't enjoy not doing so neither.

but before you mistake me for being humourless, there is a distinct difference between good-natured joking and ill-mannered teasing. the former has both parties laughing it off while the latter may not be funny. it's not that i don't have a sense of humour; it's that our humour styles may not match.


and if i were to have done anything to piss you off, speak up. especially if you are close. shying away from so-called confrontation only to bear a grudge is quite silly. i've lost friends like that.

but truth be told, if i can lose someone like that it's no loss of mine. i speak up when i think something's not right and i do expect the same. tell me if i'd offended you so i know what it is exactly that i'd said that hurt you. harbouring resentment is just like storing cellulite: ugly.

it does nobody good; the one carrying the cellulite feels like a fruit while the people who see the cellulite get optical-burn.

speaking up is preferrable for sometimes i don't mean it that way and i probably wasn't referring to 'you'.

if i were, i'm sure you would know. and if my words were indeed more inclined to be read another way i would explain myself, and apologise, too, for the unnecessary angst i'd caused, if any. that's assuming my easily-misread words were brought to my attention, of course.

..as for the audacity to say that if i lost someone due to one side's not speaking up that in turn led to the drift-apart: speaking up more often than not requires effort. because it will need time and sometimes comes along with anxiety in broaching the subject followed by the possibly-explosive discussion that may follow, assuming thoughts of being seen as 'trouble-seeking', 'angsty', 'confrontational' or even 'immature' has never crossed your mind before you even start.


for friends who speak up, kudos and my personal thanks to you; you have my respect since the day we traded meaningful words. i recognise that you are brave and you value and respect me as much as i value and respect you. i'm glad to have you in my life, i'm glad we both know that fights only mean that we know more about each other.

for friends who didn't, i hope those matters are small and are forgotten. i probably wouldn't have noticed if i hadn't said anything about it. i would ask if anything's wrong if i sense something's not quite right. if i didn't, i might've missed it altogether. similarly, i would let the topic go if i were to ask and you were to tell me it doesn't matter.

i would of course, ask further if you were to tell me 'it's alright' only to throw funky tantrums at me. i would naturally try not bear the brunt of the 'mood', especially if you tell me 'it's okay' or 'i'm alright' or 'nothing's wrong'.

if you're 'fine' and you're behaving that way then you're just hard to be with. in which case i'd be most glad to walk my self somewhere else and enjoy the scenery there. there's hardly anyone forcing anyone else to spend time together, is there?


...if i did miss my being abrasive/insensitive/whatnot entirely and it's making you feel like the friendship's not worth your while, tell me what's wrong. at least give me a chance at understanding what's going on and maybe try to clear the misunderstanding, if any. i think if you can sincerely call me 'friend' as i can similarly hail you as such, we both deserve that crucial discussion to clear the air.

i'd hate to lose people i'd been through life's lessons with because of misunderstandings.

but if it hasn't mattered to you to start with, by all means, leave the matter be. i'd much rather spend my time and efforts on those who i care about and who reciprocate it. i don't presume to try to crack a nut that doesn't want to be cracked.

like someone said, 'you can only make yourself as lovable as you can be, whether the other chooses to love you is their decision to make'. similarly, i can only offer to be there for you. whether or not you will have my presence about really depends on you.

i'm sorry i'm bad at keeping in touch. i don't call people. not because i don't think of you but because there's the damn email that doesn't cost a thing. i'm also sorry about being bad at remembering birthdays. i feel bad forgetting as well. if i had forgotten yours, i'm sorry. but that's what birthday reminders.com is for, no?

of all the people i know, i only know 6 peoples' birthdays by heart. 2 because they share the same birthday and it happens to fall on sept 11; one because it's on 15th april, one because it's 2 days before mine and another because it's one day after. the last one belongs to my most-recent ex: his birthday's on the 30th march.

but seriously.. i try to remember, yes, but most of the time i only remember the rough date (read: month) which i'm pretty good at. having said that, i thoroughly won't mean it if i were to forget your birthday, i would plan cakes and presents if i were to, or at least send a birthday card or give you a call. suffice to say, there would be indication that i remember.

if i were to blithely forget, please forgive me, i don't mean to. thus, it is almost always a good idea to gently remind me that you're birthday is around the corner.

i'll be sure to bring you something. :) with that, i end my rather awkward piece that i would otherwise polish if it were a holier time than now.