trouble ahead - no, don't help me. PLEASE don't help me.

i realise i might be in a bit of a trouble...

already i find that i'm mired in some politics that i had left hanging some years back and apparently rumours (and politics) die hard. even people i don't know seem to know about my affairs. i didn't realise i was famous... -irritated-


add new players to that and you got quicksands and holes pretending to be the ground and water that's disguised as greens by floating plants which incidentally hides the crocs as well...

anyone who knew of the joey-kyle issue would understand what i mean. jo's got his own life to lead now thankfully and kyle's still... -kyle: stuck.

then there is the 'new player' who is being extra nice and helpful and another older (by 'older' i don't mean age but the amount of time i knew him for) 'friend' who is offering advice to kyle and telling him that 'no loren doesn't see you that way' (in a 'manlier' manner, i'd guess) AND is foolish enough to hang out and turn up at venues where everybody else is at with me!

and who gets asked 'eh what's going on arh?' in the end??? nabeh me right?

and why'm i explaining myself anyway? a 'don't know, you ask him,' will smack of fish which means deeper shit.


wah please. i'm not ready to deal with this. it's almost like meeting with a fresh dancer you gotta pussyfoot your way around graciously when you'd just managed to waltz your way past some other dancer WITH SOME BUMBLING FOOL WHO'S TRYING TO 'HELP' after (if i could use italics for the word 'after' i would!) running a marathon in sport shoes. damn tiring leh. lemme rest can 'not?

..how long can you buat bodoh till loren? how many more people do you have to turn colder to after explaining the embarrasing concept that you're not looking and how many other groups of friends do you have to run away to if that doesn't work?

i wonder how long i can do that for, as well. i know i dropped some pretty direct (point-blank) hints and such..


aaaah. hope they work lah. fingers crossed! they are smart enough. they are smart enough. yeees they are smart enough. i KNOW they are smart enough.

..please say they're smart enough. -prays-



..at least there's this last one who is not that into it. nice and pleasant but not that into it. me. haha i should hang out more with those who don't look at me like i were anything vaguely female. even if they did, don't overkill with niceness.

i appreciate people being nice to me but coming from men coming after me, it's just not 'real'...