so are you smart or stupid?

i'd met someone a while ago.

i hardly know him. i only know his name, where he lives, how his room looks like and that there is a window on his bathroom wall that allows one to peek in our out.


and i'm content. we do stuff together. walks on the beach, walks elsewhere, walks in ikea, hanging out at my place, hanging out at his. and we're happy.

he's the 'surrogate boyfriend', so to speak. he teaches me stuff, and i tell him about my nonsense views of the world. it amuses him, i think. whatever i say and do, he somehow accepts, and goes along with it. maybe that kind of patience comes with age. perhaps he understands that with him i can't go too wrong.

..perhaps i know that if i went wrong it's still with him.

experience junkie? that's me.


i find that i don't need to know much about him. that is enough. he is inconsequential in my life as i am in his; we simply enjoy meeting up. perhaps it's because we hardly expect much of each other, but somehow we treat each other well. maybe he's just naturally nice. (you think? :) )

but then that begs the question: is it wise? you hardly know the fella.


answer? yes. and no.

yes because i know i can call it quits anytime i want, and he'd go 'okay' and disappear; he can do likewise and get the same results. and no because - come on, trust a 'stranger'? bah. it'd do you good to get his ic number, his family's details and suchlike so when shit happens you got some kinda line to hang on to, sugar.


..oddly though, i find myself trusting this person right from the start. i'm usually paranoid about people. questions like 'why's he/she doing this, what were the alternatives to attain similar results' pop in my mind when someone does anything remotely suspicious. 'suspicious' may be anything concerning me or someone i know.

heck, 'suspicious' may be anything.


maybe i'm naive, still. cynical yet somehow still believing that there are people who are simply harmless around. alternatively, that person may be capable of shitloads of harm but somehow, just somehow - this person i'm speaking of - he's just ..going along.

almost like the devil, if i may say. to take a quote from the the movie 'the devil's advocate' in which de niro plays the devil - 'i don't pull the strings; i only set the stage.' and true, he doesn't pull strings.

neither of us do. it's not to imply that anyone's manipulative. it - our rather unique situation, methinks - simply reminds me of that line and i thought i'd better scribe it before i forget.


so... where's this going? hell if i know. i don't think he knows as well but i'm guessing he's got some 'to-run' sign somewhere - like a limit of sorts, something to tell him to quit and leave so shit doesn't happen. he's a smart one, this.

and me? i'm taking the lead, it seems. will he take the lead? i was the one to kick this off. he's following along. simply because it doesn't matter. :)


..or does it? i'll find out later. i'm not holding my breath waiting. rolling right along now.