hand-washing, ladies and starbucks

i often wonder, as i wash my hands after i'm done with the necessary in the lavatory, that why we women wash our hands, regardless of whether the loo-visit was for the purpose of a tinkle or for something more.

before you condemn me for one who's against hand-washing: i'm not. i am honestly curious about this ritual, is all. and yes, i do wash my hands each time i go to the ladies. but why, i often wonder absently about others. i know why i wash my hands each time i'm at the ladies.*

i mean, boys (cough) - men - need to handle certain equipment when they tinkle (that's the tradeoff for not having to sit). women don't. not really, no. and not all the time, especially when alone.

men need to unzip, fish out their woo-woos, hold them in place, give it a shake when they're done then put it back where it belongs. well, that's a private part they'd just touched so of course they need to wash their hands. but women?

other than those who come into actual, manual contact with bodily outputs - correct me if i'm wrong here, please - most urbane women do not, in actual fact, come into direct contact with certain parts of their own body. until when they shower, presumably.

so... why do we wash our hands when we go to the ladies? so our hands can smell nice? to fulfill an unwritten societal demand that thine hands must be washed each time thou goest to the ladies and they must be moist and smell of that lavender handwash from department Nix from Sector Two so thou may pass through the scanner at the Portal to return to thine Motherboard?

come on people, really. we have loo paper most of the time; once we're done with wiping, hey, it's done.

no, no i'm not saying that "wow, hey you water-wasters, don't wash your hands!" i'm saying "are we wasting water when we hadn't really touched anything?"

are we, unknowingly, the STARBUCKS of society, albeit more sporadic and somewhat compulsive?

after all, it's not like we're spraying it right out so that the stall's full of vapour - if that were the case i'd honestly advocate more than just washing your hands.

but seriously. it comes out in a stream right into the bowlful of water, and stays there. then we clean the rest up with a bit of paper.

so... what contact, and what contamination? are we trying to prevent buildup of germs by washing? so... we prevent germs by washing after we're done with the ladies... then come back to touch the keyboard? then proceed to pick up that donut we bought for tea..?


what's worse, really?

well, i know why i wash my hands, and why i wash them often. i hope you do, too.

i hope we're not simply wasting water, because we happen to have loads of it.

i really hope it. so. the question is: do you know why you're washing your hands?

i do. i know i do. do you?


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* i wash my hands each time i'm at the ladies because i handle the papers a lot. my fingers are almost always stained black by both glue and newspaper ink. it does not help that i have sweaty palms.

i wash my hands before i even go into the stall because i worry about my pretty panties that would show grubby marks of my own fingers: what if i was about to get hit by a bus and then the bus sees them fingerprints, misunderstands, and decides to hit something else?

can you imagine the embarassment in trying to explain an it's-so-ordinary-it's-absurd predicament? God forbid that you miss the moment, cause you know in your heart that each time you see that person you will try to broach the subject and try to explain but it is never going to be an appropriate time and place and situation for you to do so anymore.

so. i'd rather wash my hands than have to live down that kind of trigger-able SILENT SCREAM. same reason why some people say "always wear pretty underwear in case you get hit by a bus."

not that i'm ever-ready to get hit by a bus. more like if i'm going to die, i'll die with no regrets, because my hands are washed.