blather

minister mentor said that it is best for graduates to marry graduates. okay. so... wow. it's true, i understand, that it'll be best if both parties are at the same intellectual level as the other, and he uses that as a yardstick.

after all, it is hard to find another form of measurement, other than "do you have a degree", because... well, degrees certainly mean that you are the kind to be able to sit down at the desk to study, no?

and if you cannot, then you're probably in a polytechnic somewhere, nothing against polytechnics or any other institutions, really. the reason why i bring this us is because where you go to reflects your kind of personality and preferences. people with degrees are probably more interested in (or at least don't mind) debates, exploring sides of the same coin, love (or at least don't mind) reading - as opposed to those who absolutely cannot stand reading, debates, et cetera.

that is of course, a general statement and definitely there will be exceptions to the rule. but seriously. sometimes it is just hard to talk to a person who doesn't understand where you're coming from.

that is vastly different from talking to someone who knows what you're talking about but rejects it.

one may well be as frustrating as the other, true, but it is undeniable that the two are very, very different from each other.


personally, i find people who do not understand me to be a bigger source of irritation than those who were to reject my opinions, simply because the latter understand what i'm talking about. with those who cannot understand what i'm talking about, there is a lack of connection; like all my ammo has been aimed and fired at where i thought bullseye would be when the bullseye probably never was there to start with.

i am not a supporter of the supposed elitist way, no. i am not one of the elites neither, if you must know. i do not possess a degree, if that's how one begins to qualify to be an elite, or to begin be an elitist.


i think the reason why minister mentor said what he said about marriage is because two people should have similar ways of thought and doing things i suppose. i don't know the man personally and i can only guess, as sometimes... well, what you're not familiar with causes worry. he cannot say similarity in background will guarantee similarity in thought, because well, it's true.

what he can be more sure of though, is that once two people have gone through similar ways of coaching chances are they will have similar ways of thought. not completely, but at least to a certain, if not large, extent. and sometimes it's just important to be able to understand and appreciate what the other is talking about - and a similar level of education gives you that, even if two people were to have majored in very different subjects.

i'm not saying that only people of similar educational level can understand what the other is saying; there are obviously exceptions to the rule. it's just that, well, that's the most logical way to measure how two people can survive as a couple, as parents, as partners.

so what's my point, really, after blathering on about what the MM has said?

well, my point is that i see the virtue in his words, and that i agree. it might not be very well-received (thanks to taiwanese and korean drama serials), but it makes sense.

...also... sometimes, just sometimes... people of a certain educational level will tend to not take the "less-educated" partner less seriously, because of pride. we can go on to discuss how a person of a lower education level may look up to the one with the higher level of education and it might work our just fine.

but what if the one with the higher (not better education, but higher) education feels somewhat contemptuous of the one with the lower education over time and suddenly her loving care and adoration isn't enough to compensate for her "not knowing enough"?

well. i am a firm believer that education does not automatically mean schooled. so many people are educated but unschooled, wow. just look around you, they're all over in singapore.

i reiterate: i agree with what MM has said about marrying within your education level, for practical reasons cited above, and then some. again, there will be exceptions to rules, but those are probably not many. it takes a certain kind of person to be happy in marriage i realise, no matter who the spouse might be.

it's just a little sad that somehow, somewhere, people have forgotten how to be happy.