..and this is what i found: buteyko.
i think it might help me, in more ways than one.
here's more know-how.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
wah lao
repercussions.
see lah. last night never sleep lah. today kena jialat jialat. i think i'm falling sick.
f*.
then again, lady in the water was a good show and the sound system and projector was good stuff, so no regrets over this one.
..plus a shoulder to cry on in the morning - there's nothing i can - nor should - complain about.
see lah. last night never sleep lah. today kena jialat jialat. i think i'm falling sick.
f*.
then again, lady in the water was a good show and the sound system and projector was good stuff, so no regrets over this one.
..plus a shoulder to cry on in the morning - there's nothing i can - nor should - complain about.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
landlady
i think i now know why my landlady turns up the telly volume to "deafening" - it's to keep the silence at the peripherals of her being.
i guess i understand now.
i guess i understand now.
The Knut i wish i had
haha
do you think our kid'll be this cute? i wonder if you'd wondered about that..
Funny Tennis
do you remember this, dear? we used to laugh at this and i'd ask you to play it again, again! again!
the scent of your kisses still stain my lips
the warmth of your skin just yesterday's wisp
the presence of you still fresh in my arms
the weight of your being ..
too much sentimental poetry. makes it harder. i should stop.
..but let me just hold on to the scent of you a little longer, before i have to wash it away.
the warmth of your skin just yesterday's wisp
the presence of you still fresh in my arms
the weight of your being ..
too much sentimental poetry. makes it harder. i should stop.
..but let me just hold on to the scent of you a little longer, before i have to wash it away.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
oh, oh!
oh yah! forgot to mention that i managed to get myself an item off the list of items that i was planning to get. :) :)
am happy. ^^
am happy. ^^
a little ragged 'round the edges
hm, i'd been a little tired lately for some reason. it might be the way i sleep, or it might be my hours... i'm thinking it might be the hours more than anything else, but oh good golly. i wish i felt rested!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
games.
i think we won't know who we truly are inside until the following happens to us (not necessarily in order):
1) when we move (that is to say when in an unfamiliar environment)
2) in the face of hardship
3) when facing betrayal
4) when angry
5) when we need to react quickly
6) prolonged anonymity
7) when successful
8) when down and out
9) when strapped for time
10) when found out
truly, these are the times when you should see glimpses of what you are made of.
1) when we move (that is to say when in an unfamiliar environment)
2) in the face of hardship
3) when facing betrayal
4) when angry
5) when we need to react quickly
6) prolonged anonymity
7) when successful
8) when down and out
9) when strapped for time
10) when found out
truly, these are the times when you should see glimpses of what you are made of.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
on movies and war
movies have a certain magic about them. well-written ones, that is, and that takes shows like beowulf out of the running.
well, a sweet indian, through the request that i return DVDs for him, had allowed me to chance upon the movie titled little miss sunshine. it's about how family and love and all the togetherness you can imagine that can only from family, for lack of a wittier expression.
well, just in case you hadn't clicked on the link provided, here's the general summary:
and that's not spoiling it for you. one part that touched me in particular was how the foul-mouthed ole rogue (grampa) told olive, his grand-daughter that she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and that he's madly in love with her when she asked him if she's pretty the night before the peageant when she was getting cold feet. and this is coming from someone who tells his grandson to fuck as many women as you can. fuck many women.
suffice to say, i totally bawled my eyes out during this movie and ...and understood the power of a good writer. don't fuck with a writer. seriously.
as for war... there're too many lives and too many bombs on legs these days. it's all solved with mortar and suicides. take the most recent assassinations: there are the guns, there are the attempts with knives wrapped in flags, suicide bombers - it sure looks like there is a culture forming. i must've been slow to actually realise this only now but hey, i just started reading the newspapers recently. it's scary, this world. the more i read, the more freaked i get.
i was about to ask "why can't people just be content with living" only to understand immediately that what i consider acceptable may be the kiss of death to some. then again, that just brings me to the idea that humans are evil because evil feeds upon itself. and that's what we're doing. we're a cancerous race, in all senses of the word.
..then again, who's to say what's right and what's wrong, until someone close to you gets croaked and affect you enough to howl holy hell? reminds me of the book lord of the flies written by william golding.
well, a sweet indian, through the request that i return DVDs for him, had allowed me to chance upon the movie titled little miss sunshine. it's about how family and love and all the togetherness you can imagine that can only from family, for lack of a wittier expression.
well, just in case you hadn't clicked on the link provided, here's the general summary:
Sheryl Hoover (Toni Collette) is an overworked mother of two. Her brother Frank (Steve Carell) is a homosexual Proust scholar, temporarily living at home with the family after having attempted suicide in the wake of a failed relationship. Sheryl's husband Richard (Greg Kinnear) is a Type A personality striving to help support the family as a motivational speaker and life coach. Dwayne (Paul Dano), Sheryl's son from a previous marriage, is a Nietzsche-reading teenager who has taken a vow of silence until he can accomplish his dreams of becoming a test pilot. Richard's father, Edwin (Alan Arkin), recently evicted from a retirement home for snorting heroin, lives with the family; he is close to his seven-year-old granddaughter Olive (Abigail Breslin).
Olive learns she has qualified for the "Little Miss Sunshine" beauty pageant that is being held in Redondo Beach, California in two days. The family, wanting to support her, quickly realizes that they all must accompany Olive to the pageant, getting there via an 800-mile road trip in their yellow Volkswagen T2 Microbus.
Family tensions play out on the highway and at stops along the way, amidst the aging VW van's mechanical problems. When the van breaks down early on, they learn that they must push the van until it is moving at about 20 mph before it is put into gear, at which point they have to run up to the side door and jump in...
and that's not spoiling it for you. one part that touched me in particular was how the foul-mouthed ole rogue (grampa) told olive, his grand-daughter that she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and that he's madly in love with her when she asked him if she's pretty the night before the peageant when she was getting cold feet. and this is coming from someone who tells his grandson to fuck as many women as you can. fuck many women.
suffice to say, i totally bawled my eyes out during this movie and ...and understood the power of a good writer. don't fuck with a writer. seriously.
as for war... there're too many lives and too many bombs on legs these days. it's all solved with mortar and suicides. take the most recent assassinations: there are the guns, there are the attempts with knives wrapped in flags, suicide bombers - it sure looks like there is a culture forming. i must've been slow to actually realise this only now but hey, i just started reading the newspapers recently. it's scary, this world. the more i read, the more freaked i get.
i was about to ask "why can't people just be content with living" only to understand immediately that what i consider acceptable may be the kiss of death to some. then again, that just brings me to the idea that humans are evil because evil feeds upon itself. and that's what we're doing. we're a cancerous race, in all senses of the word.
..then again, who's to say what's right and what's wrong, until someone close to you gets croaked and affect you enough to howl holy hell? reminds me of the book lord of the flies written by william golding.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
on beauty
a friend of mine has fallen in love... with yet another girl who's 21... who's here on an exchange programme. and given his penchant for "unattaintable" targets, i wondered how "unattainable" this one is.
mistake me not, my friend is not a guy who's (too) frivolous. in fact, he's the kind concerned with the world's welfare and suchlike, lectures at a local university where she was a part-time student at - and that's where i worry for him.
tell me that this is obvious: what if she squeals his declaration to someone else, who in turn squeals it to someone else, so on and so forth? call me paranoid but i sure hope this 21-year-old is as ripe in the mind as she is in the body (if she's ripe in the body). i wondered why he's so in love with her, really - and he, without my asking, conveniently forwarded me to a web-add that shows me exactly how she looks like...
and boy, she's hawt. not just "hot", but actually hawt.
see for yourself, here and you'll see why his chances are slimmer than anorexic. (her name's jennifer too, by the way.)
yes he's a nice chap, yes he's brainy and his heart's in the right place... but i maintain that he does not stand a chance, even if she were ball-and-chained onto this island.
it's like jasmine and calv, like my friend JJ falling in love with jaymee ong!
...unless, of course, she's like annabel francis, bless that woman, who saw past demeanors and married the sweet sheik haikel. for a 21-year-old, however.... i'm not so sure.
anyhoos. her pictures made me want to break my mirrors... good golly, i felt more the plain jane who'd sooner blend into the wall than anything resembling an actual living female just by looking at her from my side of the screen.
she's beautiful! her body's got a nice, sturdy-yet-womanly frame, rounded at all the right places and delicate where it's meant to be delicate. she's got lovely strong features and, and -
and i can only sigh in envy.
she doesn't look to be stupid, neither, considering she's studying to get a degree......... and that she's human.
it's unfair, don't you think. being beautiful and "human" both at the same time?
i mean, jaymee ong's different because she's not human. she's what people conjured up to grace magazine covers and marketing brochures. nobody's seen her in real life and i swear she's CG. even if she were real, i maintain that she's not completely human because she's a model, for crying out loud. if that's not "not human" i don't know what is. the english dictionary got it wrong: "model" actually means "goddess" or something to the like.
...well.
whatever it is, here's hoping my friend won't get into too much trouble both emotionally and otherwise... meanwhile though, maybe i should have all reflective surfaces removed from my room and tell my landlady that mirrors have been found to be radioactive...
china and their tainted goods, y'know. that's why witches' mirrors cracked when they looked into them mirrors in their swampland homes - those mirrors were from china.
mistake me not, my friend is not a guy who's (too) frivolous. in fact, he's the kind concerned with the world's welfare and suchlike, lectures at a local university where she was a part-time student at - and that's where i worry for him.
tell me that this is obvious: what if she squeals his declaration to someone else, who in turn squeals it to someone else, so on and so forth? call me paranoid but i sure hope this 21-year-old is as ripe in the mind as she is in the body (if she's ripe in the body). i wondered why he's so in love with her, really - and he, without my asking, conveniently forwarded me to a web-add that shows me exactly how she looks like...
and boy, she's hawt. not just "hot", but actually hawt.
see for yourself, here and you'll see why his chances are slimmer than anorexic. (her name's jennifer too, by the way.)
yes he's a nice chap, yes he's brainy and his heart's in the right place... but i maintain that he does not stand a chance, even if she were ball-and-chained onto this island.
it's like jasmine and calv, like my friend JJ falling in love with jaymee ong!
...unless, of course, she's like annabel francis, bless that woman, who saw past demeanors and married the sweet sheik haikel. for a 21-year-old, however.... i'm not so sure.
anyhoos. her pictures made me want to break my mirrors... good golly, i felt more the plain jane who'd sooner blend into the wall than anything resembling an actual living female just by looking at her from my side of the screen.
she's beautiful! her body's got a nice, sturdy-yet-womanly frame, rounded at all the right places and delicate where it's meant to be delicate. she's got lovely strong features and, and -
and i can only sigh in envy.
she doesn't look to be stupid, neither, considering she's studying to get a degree......... and that she's human.
it's unfair, don't you think. being beautiful and "human" both at the same time?
i mean, jaymee ong's different because she's not human. she's what people conjured up to grace magazine covers and marketing brochures. nobody's seen her in real life and i swear she's CG. even if she were real, i maintain that she's not completely human because she's a model, for crying out loud. if that's not "not human" i don't know what is. the english dictionary got it wrong: "model" actually means "goddess" or something to the like.
...well.
whatever it is, here's hoping my friend won't get into too much trouble both emotionally and otherwise... meanwhile though, maybe i should have all reflective surfaces removed from my room and tell my landlady that mirrors have been found to be radioactive...
china and their tainted goods, y'know. that's why witches' mirrors cracked when they looked into them mirrors in their swampland homes - those mirrors were from china.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
clothes
i'd just found that i'm woefully low on clothes.
with su's input i now can survive better, though... there are still (quite) a few essentials i still need! >_<
okay, time to work towards those...
more pressing needs first: CNY.
i should get: -
* a dress
* pants, shirt (PROPER SHIRT)
after that, it will be: -
* jacket (LVER has one very pretty one. i must remember to go back.)
* shoes (close toes. oh goodness, Lord help me find a pair that works for me!)
* shoes (flirty ones that i can wear for a long time... my current pair is more than a year old! >_< so. shoes. hmmm but then my taste in shoes can be pretty "old"... <: +)
okay, that be all for now. it should last me a while before my next planned foray.
with su's input i now can survive better, though... there are still (quite) a few essentials i still need! >_<
okay, time to work towards those...
more pressing needs first: CNY.
i should get: -
* a dress
* pants, shirt (PROPER SHIRT)
after that, it will be: -
* jacket (LVER has one very pretty one. i must remember to go back.)
* shoes (close toes. oh goodness, Lord help me find a pair that works for me!)
* shoes (flirty ones that i can wear for a long time... my current pair is more than a year old! >_< so. shoes. hmmm but then my taste in shoes can be pretty "old"... <: +)
okay, that be all for now. it should last me a while before my next planned foray.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Sunday, December 30, 2007
girls
i went out with the girls today.
it was awkward at the beginning for some reason... it's almost as if i rubbed everybody the wrong way and as a result i was, quite a large part of the time, unsure if i would make matters worse by saying anything.
and no, i'm not normally bothered by other peoples' views and/or reactions to me, but these are the people who i am supposed to love, for better or for worse.
it's hurtful to be snapped at repeatedly, i hope i'm just being sensitive and "cannot take joke one" - i had considered leaving earlier: if i only serve to upset people, then it's best that i'm not there. that way both sides don't get aggravated and this saturday will be more enjoyable.
very thankfully though, it ended in a nicer, more familiar manner and i'm glad we feel like friends again. i just hope this isn't what i should be looking out for each time we go out though - it'd be a shame if it were.
come to think of it though ...even if it were, i'll probably still choose to love them. shut up and love them, pei, because that's what you know you'll do when it comes to them.
it was awkward at the beginning for some reason... it's almost as if i rubbed everybody the wrong way and as a result i was, quite a large part of the time, unsure if i would make matters worse by saying anything.
and no, i'm not normally bothered by other peoples' views and/or reactions to me, but these are the people who i am supposed to love, for better or for worse.
it's hurtful to be snapped at repeatedly, i hope i'm just being sensitive and "cannot take joke one" - i had considered leaving earlier: if i only serve to upset people, then it's best that i'm not there. that way both sides don't get aggravated and this saturday will be more enjoyable.
very thankfully though, it ended in a nicer, more familiar manner and i'm glad we feel like friends again. i just hope this isn't what i should be looking out for each time we go out though - it'd be a shame if it were.
come to think of it though ...even if it were, i'll probably still choose to love them. shut up and love them, pei, because that's what you know you'll do when it comes to them.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
saturday
i'd savoured today. well, i woke from a dream - nightmare - about exams. yeah, i was in anderson in my funky almost-turquoise pinafore, sitting in the classroom with gray plastic chairs and desks and waiting for the exam to start. my classmates were walking about, talking excitedly, worriedly.
i recall trying to call out to one of them, just so i'm talking too, but i couldn't for the life of me remember their names. so in the end, i didn't, because i realised that i was amidst strangers. it's so odd, that one. i remembered the anxiety of the dream... funny how it comes back to haunt me and various others at different points in their lives.
traumatising, exams. they should be abolished.
i recall trying to call out to one of them, just so i'm talking too, but i couldn't for the life of me remember their names. so in the end, i didn't, because i realised that i was amidst strangers. it's so odd, that one. i remembered the anxiety of the dream... funny how it comes back to haunt me and various others at different points in their lives.
traumatising, exams. they should be abolished.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
eventful day. ish.
sunday! yes, i spent sunday lazy. ahem. let me say that again. i spent sunday lazy.
mm, that's better. (doesn't do it for me without the italics, heh.)
well for starters i woke up an very nearly ten and felt like i had slept till noon - that was a good start to the day, considering i had pretty nice-odd dreams before i woke. i know i'll see those scenes again later on in life, when i'm 40 or something. but now i'm not 40 and 40 is going to be wonderful. :) i'm going to be very happy, isn't that great?
:D
ahem. so i gamed, won and lost, cursed, celebrated then wondered, albeit absent-mindedly amidst the exulted bellows of "OWNINNNG" from the computer, how come i'm only gaming and not doing something useful. i should be achieving something - anything - that will help me get on better in life, like, y'know, financial freedom. i mean, three ways, right.
1. i get a rich husband.
2. i invest.
3. i work. ahem. "work".
so... why i'm i at home and not doing something about it? i mean, take option one for example: if i were to go for option one i will need to go out and con some chubby young rich punk, yes? said punk won't come a-knocking on my door to deliver my macdonald's meal, yes? haha, but then maybe jasmine will say "not all rich young men are ugly" - and she'd be right. i'm grinning as i type this: jasmine? i hope for a nice young man for you. really. because i know you cannot survive a day being lesbian.
anyways. 'twas sunday and as sundays to, that "little" consideration for my life directions has been left aside.... for many more hours of gaming. it was quite pleasant, whiling my time away like that, and there was food when i wanted it - but at the end of it all, my eyes hurt and my butt felt like it's grown twice the size (my butt is the same size thankfully, though felt like it's grown to twice its size) - and i still have not achieved anything i deemed worthwhile.
it feels terrible! (might've something to do with having stared at the screen and my legs propped up in the most unlady-like manner for too long)
...but seriously. it felt and still does feel terrible, to not have achieved something worthwhile. i've youth and time on my side right now and it's not going to last bloody forever, y'know (those were the exact words that came from me, unexpectedly, that got myself off of my chair. funny, isn't it, how you get jolted off your seat by your own sensibility. it feels so natural coming from myself - i might feel a little odd about it if it came from someone else instead).
so i decided enough was enough and turned the computer off... to pick up a book that i had already read, out of the stack of many.
and i felt like "thick face, black heart" today. and that was what i read as i laid myself onto my bed, feeling the kinks ease themselves out of my back... i must not sit like that again for too long.
...it still surprises me now that whatever i had read many years back is what i'm still reading now, said in different ways, by different people, in different books. it's almost like someone's trying to tell me something and "the idea isn't bloody getting through, you dumb cow!"
i beg your pardon. well alright, so i need to know that i can create wealth with a snap of my fingers, just like that. and you - "you" are trying to tell me that i only need do it. want it and do it. i seem to be missing something here. will "you" help me, please? i'm sorry if i'm a bit thick in this case, but please do show me the way and let me be aware of it when it's being shown.
hmm. oh boy. this conversation with myself - if i can call it "myself" just like that - hmm. i don't ask that you make sense of this, but that you take it for what it is.
anyways. what i was mentioning is about preparing the self for greatness and wealth. i don't want to argue about religion and if there is a big Someone up there, and i speak for nobody but myself in this case: if we were made in His image as cited in Christian ideology, then we possess the very greatness and potential to bring out His Light and Glory.
whether you are a Christian or Muslim, atheist or agnostic or Buddhist -
we - We - are here for a purpose. you know it. you don't need the Bible or the Quran or your mother to tell you that. either you want to make a mark for yourself and you therefore know what you need/have to do, or you know, intrinsically, that you are here for a specific reason.
and what that might be you will know or find out because you will love what you do. true that there are some who do not know what they are there for, and they lament that it is a hard life and it will continue to be a hard life...
maybe these people do now know what joy is. or maybe they do, and they feel it but are merely too familiar with their unhappiness to move out of their nice uncomfortable little hole. i don't understand, really, for i know i'm pretty happy myself, despite having had something of a funky past before... or maybe this is exactly how they feel, because "it's what they know".
but unlike er, "them", i know i want something more. i want a home to call my own, own my property, be rich, be meaningfully and sufficiently busy but without having to rush nor be flustered and having enough time to sip my coffee and go for my walks - when people are in suits receiving salaries fixed by their companies -
hehe
i'm sorry, but hehe
maybe i have stepped onto a few tails here by my previous comment. i mean no offense - that is what i want in my life. i want to set my own salary, a nice big paycheck that is more than "sufficient" to pay my bills and whatnot. i want to be wealthy; i want to be mighty comfortable!
..if you are like me, however - you're searching for that something that makes you happy, gives you ridiculous amounts of joy that it never ever feels like work - well, congratulations, i think you are looking, searching, for the very reason you are here today. a certain jennifer is going to be a lawyer. a certain jasmi is - was? - a topnotch events person and a certain susan, is still searching. i'd like to think that i've a better idea than most, considering i'd bounced around for a bit, looking for the one that feels "right" but i don't know it with certainty yet, though i have to say i've a fair idea of what it might be.
and it's true. design and art and writing. what do i do tirelessly, effortlessly? why, writing and art, of course. i suck at design but i sure as heck can paint and write.
truth be told, i want to paint. i want i want i want to paint. i want to paint and i want to sing, i want to dance - those are my loves, i shall never tire. when i cannot dance anymore, i shall paint. i shall sculpt and i shall paint and i shall write, like i shall sing. all those things i will do, and do well.
hey.
you know what? i think i have found what i'm meant to do. really. i've always know i love to write. i've always know i love to sing and paint and dance - but i don't know it. you see? i didn't know it.
whaddya know, hey. i'm going to be rich!
mm, that's better. (doesn't do it for me without the italics, heh.)
well for starters i woke up an very nearly ten and felt like i had slept till noon - that was a good start to the day, considering i had pretty nice-odd dreams before i woke. i know i'll see those scenes again later on in life, when i'm 40 or something. but now i'm not 40 and 40 is going to be wonderful. :) i'm going to be very happy, isn't that great?
:D
ahem. so i gamed, won and lost, cursed, celebrated then wondered, albeit absent-mindedly amidst the exulted bellows of "OWNINNNG" from the computer, how come i'm only gaming and not doing something useful. i should be achieving something - anything - that will help me get on better in life, like, y'know, financial freedom. i mean, three ways, right.
1. i get a rich husband.
2. i invest.
3. i work. ahem. "work".
so... why i'm i at home and not doing something about it? i mean, take option one for example: if i were to go for option one i will need to go out and con some chubby young rich punk, yes? said punk won't come a-knocking on my door to deliver my macdonald's meal, yes? haha, but then maybe jasmine will say "not all rich young men are ugly" - and she'd be right. i'm grinning as i type this: jasmine? i hope for a nice young man for you. really. because i know you cannot survive a day being lesbian.
anyways. 'twas sunday and as sundays to, that "little" consideration for my life directions has been left aside.... for many more hours of gaming. it was quite pleasant, whiling my time away like that, and there was food when i wanted it - but at the end of it all, my eyes hurt and my butt felt like it's grown twice the size (my butt is the same size thankfully, though felt like it's grown to twice its size) - and i still have not achieved anything i deemed worthwhile.
it feels terrible! (might've something to do with having stared at the screen and my legs propped up in the most unlady-like manner for too long)
...but seriously. it felt and still does feel terrible, to not have achieved something worthwhile. i've youth and time on my side right now and it's not going to last bloody forever, y'know (those were the exact words that came from me, unexpectedly, that got myself off of my chair. funny, isn't it, how you get jolted off your seat by your own sensibility. it feels so natural coming from myself - i might feel a little odd about it if it came from someone else instead).
so i decided enough was enough and turned the computer off... to pick up a book that i had already read, out of the stack of many.
and i felt like "thick face, black heart" today. and that was what i read as i laid myself onto my bed, feeling the kinks ease themselves out of my back... i must not sit like that again for too long.
...it still surprises me now that whatever i had read many years back is what i'm still reading now, said in different ways, by different people, in different books. it's almost like someone's trying to tell me something and "the idea isn't bloody getting through, you dumb cow!"
i beg your pardon. well alright, so i need to know that i can create wealth with a snap of my fingers, just like that. and you - "you" are trying to tell me that i only need do it. want it and do it. i seem to be missing something here. will "you" help me, please? i'm sorry if i'm a bit thick in this case, but please do show me the way and let me be aware of it when it's being shown.
hmm. oh boy. this conversation with myself - if i can call it "myself" just like that - hmm. i don't ask that you make sense of this, but that you take it for what it is.
anyways. what i was mentioning is about preparing the self for greatness and wealth. i don't want to argue about religion and if there is a big Someone up there, and i speak for nobody but myself in this case: if we were made in His image as cited in Christian ideology, then we possess the very greatness and potential to bring out His Light and Glory.
whether you are a Christian or Muslim, atheist or agnostic or Buddhist -
we - We - are here for a purpose. you know it. you don't need the Bible or the Quran or your mother to tell you that. either you want to make a mark for yourself and you therefore know what you need/have to do, or you know, intrinsically, that you are here for a specific reason.
and what that might be you will know or find out because you will love what you do. true that there are some who do not know what they are there for, and they lament that it is a hard life and it will continue to be a hard life...
maybe these people do now know what joy is. or maybe they do, and they feel it but are merely too familiar with their unhappiness to move out of their nice uncomfortable little hole. i don't understand, really, for i know i'm pretty happy myself, despite having had something of a funky past before... or maybe this is exactly how they feel, because "it's what they know".
but unlike er, "them", i know i want something more. i want a home to call my own, own my property, be rich, be meaningfully and sufficiently busy but without having to rush nor be flustered and having enough time to sip my coffee and go for my walks - when people are in suits receiving salaries fixed by their companies -
hehe
i'm sorry, but hehe
maybe i have stepped onto a few tails here by my previous comment. i mean no offense - that is what i want in my life. i want to set my own salary, a nice big paycheck that is more than "sufficient" to pay my bills and whatnot. i want to be wealthy; i want to be mighty comfortable!
..if you are like me, however - you're searching for that something that makes you happy, gives you ridiculous amounts of joy that it never ever feels like work - well, congratulations, i think you are looking, searching, for the very reason you are here today. a certain jennifer is going to be a lawyer. a certain jasmi is - was? - a topnotch events person and a certain susan, is still searching. i'd like to think that i've a better idea than most, considering i'd bounced around for a bit, looking for the one that feels "right" but i don't know it with certainty yet, though i have to say i've a fair idea of what it might be.
they say that if you are doing something you are placed in this world to do, not only will you do it wonderfully, you will do it joyously and you will do it tirelessly.
and it's true. design and art and writing. what do i do tirelessly, effortlessly? why, writing and art, of course. i suck at design but i sure as heck can paint and write.
truth be told, i want to paint. i want i want i want to paint. i want to paint and i want to sing, i want to dance - those are my loves, i shall never tire. when i cannot dance anymore, i shall paint. i shall sculpt and i shall paint and i shall write, like i shall sing. all those things i will do, and do well.
hey.
you know what? i think i have found what i'm meant to do. really. i've always know i love to write. i've always know i love to sing and paint and dance - but i don't know it. you see? i didn't know it.
whaddya know, hey. i'm going to be rich!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
i can't wait!
ooh what an exciting time! christmas, a week's leave to do ANYTHING i want, new job - gee, i have the most fun life, ever!
i am a ray of sunshine, no rain cloud will get me down!
AMEN!
i am a ray of sunshine, no rain cloud will get me down!
AMEN!
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Whose Line is it Anyway - SFX - Jedi
hooohooohoohahahahhahahahahahahoahaohahahehahhehahehehahhhehahahaaa
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
this is what it is
from the pages of facebook.
this makes me smile... he calls me beautiful and hawt, he stays awake to watch me sleep, he kisses my forehead... probably doesn't want to show me off to his mates when i'm in his sweats (furry sweats) and holds my hand in front of his friends.
he's not much of a words person though – much to my consternation. "where is the muuuush," i'd often say. i wish he'd tell me more, how much he loves me, cares about me and how lucky he is to have me. and yes, he'll be turning to whomever he's with and saying, "here comes trouble –" with a smile
" – and i love her."
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisss your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, " ...that's her."
this makes me smile... he calls me beautiful and hawt, he stays awake to watch me sleep, he kisses my forehead... probably doesn't want to show me off to his mates when i'm in his sweats (furry sweats) and holds my hand in front of his friends.
he's not much of a words person though – much to my consternation. "where is the muuuush," i'd often say. i wish he'd tell me more, how much he loves me, cares about me and how lucky he is to have me. and yes, he'll be turning to whomever he's with and saying, "here comes trouble –" with a smile
" – and i love her."
Sunday, November 18, 2007
TIME'S CATCHING BLOODY UP!!!
i was on facebook just some moments ago and HOBOY was i surprised! this chap i know from school - he's only 23, a year younger than i am, has got a child! he's got a wife and a child!
(the baby girl looks gorgeous though, fell in love with her. then again, her dad's an eurasian and the mum's pretty, too. :D )
really: WAH PIANG.
(the baby girl looks gorgeous though, fell in love with her. then again, her dad's an eurasian and the mum's pretty, too. :D )
really: WAH PIANG.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
wish
i'm a little upset, for some reason.
everything's fine, going on great, but there's this funky little agitation going on that makes my guts itch. like i need something more. like friends.
then again, it might be the hour.
everything's fine, going on great, but there's this funky little agitation going on that makes my guts itch. like i need something more. like friends.
then again, it might be the hour.
there's something about midnight
well. there's something about being awake in the wee hours of the morning; i just said midnight cause it sounded so much cooler.
there are great songs on the radio and the air is generally cooler. peaceful, too.
guess i'm enjoying my solitude, here, and enjoying the sensation of being alive.
there are great songs on the radio and the air is generally cooler. peaceful, too.
guess i'm enjoying my solitude, here, and enjoying the sensation of being alive.
Friday, November 16, 2007
life
life's been treating me good. as in, really, really good.
it's quite amazing how that works out, really. and i know it will continue to work out. Praise The Lord.
it's quite amazing how that works out, really. and i know it will continue to work out. Praise The Lord.
the previous post
well. the previous post must've scared some people.
if nobody else it's certainly scared me! it has been duly removed.
if nobody else it's certainly scared me! it has been duly removed.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
dancin' in the morning
i overslept twice today - once when i was supposed to wake up at six and call my baby so he won't be late - by the time i woke it was seven thirty - i'd slept through my alarm clock!
the second time was - well, deliberate. hur hur
and this morning, at eight fifty, i danced to the tunes on radio in my room, loving every moment of it. and i dance exactly because i can, because i have to go to work. i love my freedom in this company - i'm sorry to leave.
the second time was - well, deliberate. hur hur
and this morning, at eight fifty, i danced to the tunes on radio in my room, loving every moment of it. and i dance exactly because i can, because i have to go to work. i love my freedom in this company - i'm sorry to leave.
phuket reality
one of the go-go bars in phuket. you don't know how young the girls are, really. you also won't see how tourism can boost an economy and destroy cultures both in the same stroke, until you think about it, after you've had your laughs and more than a few glasses of drinks.
phuket spirituality
this is one of the pictures i took in phuket. spirituality can be found at the most deliberate of places.
ya think?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
decadence is...
decadence is having a hot bath in a big bathtub when it's storming outside.
decadence is walking into an air-conditioned room after that hot bath and diving into the covers, with the radio on.
bliss is having that special someone to share all of these with you.
..while bliss is a sea away, i don't mind settling for decadence.
decadence is walking into an air-conditioned room after that hot bath and diving into the covers, with the radio on.
bliss is having that special someone to share all of these with you.
..while bliss is a sea away, i don't mind settling for decadence.
Macked!
do you know that macdonald's raised their delivery price to THREE DOLLARS now?
it used to be TWO dollars! i mean, what, the price of petrol went up two hundred fold? or has there been a discovery that exhaust from motorbikes now cause immediate death?? hello, it's THREE DOLLARS.
grrr. ridiculous.
it used to be TWO dollars! i mean, what, the price of petrol went up two hundred fold? or has there been a discovery that exhaust from motorbikes now cause immediate death?? hello, it's THREE DOLLARS.
grrr. ridiculous.
oh this is so cute
really. dooce.com is one of my favourite online reads, precisely because of things like this.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
the games we play II
try this impossible quiz if you fancy yourself a schmart cookie. and the impossible quiz 2 if you don't have enough braIn damage from number 1!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
things i need to do
i know there are things i need to do, like read up on stuff, learn how to do some things better.
but i'm not doing them. :/
i keep getting distracted; i shouldn't. >_< i shouldn't.
but i'm not doing them. :/
i keep getting distracted; i shouldn't. >_< i shouldn't.
the games we play
hem the kitty. it's not as cruel as it sounds. really.
if you prefer something more forthright, try eating unsuspecting earthlings.
oh this is really funny! only street fighter fans will dig this.
and to prove that you aren't an idiot, try this - and don't shoot the puppy here. it gets hard after a while. hehe
if you prefer something more forthright, try eating unsuspecting earthlings.
oh this is really funny! only street fighter fans will dig this.
and to prove that you aren't an idiot, try this - and don't shoot the puppy here. it gets hard after a while. hehe
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
oh-my-bejesus wow
i went for my haircut today, at leong's. yes,leong's.
i didn't think very much of the haircut at first, but when i got home, hooo boy, did i fall in love with my reflection! thanks to my lady friends, of course.
and something wonderful happened today, too.
a certain susan's brought some of her skirts and dresses for me, and i was glad for that gesture. when i got home and checked them out, was i GLAD. susan's got TASTE, my goodness. i felt like a million bucks wearing those pieces, especially that tube dress. i'd hire her to do my shopping any day when i become a rich tai-tai. and that's all she'll ever do: shop for and with me.
..i suddenly felt like i had shed years, after i shed my older hairstyle (cleopatra after being run over by a camel) and changed into her pieces. i suddenly felt - high maintenance.
hell i felt good. ......i must get a rich husband. that or i must become rich, like, quickly.
(and THANK you, susan, for those gorgeous pieces!)
i didn't think very much of the haircut at first, but when i got home, hooo boy, did i fall in love with my reflection! thanks to my lady friends, of course.
and something wonderful happened today, too.
a certain susan's brought some of her skirts and dresses for me, and i was glad for that gesture. when i got home and checked them out, was i GLAD. susan's got TASTE, my goodness. i felt like a million bucks wearing those pieces, especially that tube dress. i'd hire her to do my shopping any day when i become a rich tai-tai. and that's all she'll ever do: shop for and with me.
..i suddenly felt like i had shed years, after i shed my older hairstyle (cleopatra after being run over by a camel) and changed into her pieces. i suddenly felt - high maintenance.
hell i felt good. ......i must get a rich husband. that or i must become rich, like, quickly.
(and THANK you, susan, for those gorgeous pieces!)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
two days
solitude-y. been to an event today and it wasn't much, just food and some minor celebs. it's good stuff, i would've stayed if i wasn't itching to go.
i wish, how i wish i can teleport to any part of the world!
i wish, how i wish i can teleport to any part of the world!
something good
i had the funny floaty feeling today, like something awesome's in the process of happening to me.
true enough, my darling love called - all the way from taiwan! - he'd just managed to find a public phone hahaha
how did he know i was just moping about missing him during lunch?? he's psychic, i tell you!
viennese-whatchacallit-chocolate
ironically enough, i was saying something about the scent of hot chocolate being better than the actual hot chocolate.
what a certain susan and jennifer had last night at the chocolate factory is making me eat my words now - oh holy wow. honest-to-heaven: holy wow.
what a certain susan and jennifer had last night at the chocolate factory is making me eat my words now - oh holy wow. honest-to-heaven: holy wow.
Friday, October 19, 2007
scent
sometimes, the scent of hot chocolate is very much more pleasurable than the actual drink itself.
mmmmmm hot chocolate.
mmmmmm hot chocolate.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
my england very good
if youngling means novice and fledgeling means young bird or an inexperienced person - what does darling mean?
what's "dar" mean, for that matter? }: x
what's "dar" mean, for that matter? }: x
some things nice, today
some things nice, today.
i almost fell ill but i didn't. i almost didn't turn up for oktober fest but i did. i almost didn't drink beer as i usually don't but i did. i almost lost my cool when a friend of a colleague took the better cab i had called for the two of us but didn't.
i flirted with people and know i am desired, today. i loved even though my beau wasn't immediately there to receive it, today. i made progress in my work, today. i smiled at my lady boss, today. she smiled back. :)
i got back home, showered in hot water despite having turned it on five seconds before i turned the tap on.
yep, there are definitely some things nice, today.
i almost fell ill but i didn't. i almost didn't turn up for oktober fest but i did. i almost didn't drink beer as i usually don't but i did. i almost lost my cool when a friend of a colleague took the better cab i had called for the two of us but didn't.
i flirted with people and know i am desired, today. i loved even though my beau wasn't immediately there to receive it, today. i made progress in my work, today. i smiled at my lady boss, today. she smiled back. :)
i got back home, showered in hot water despite having turned it on five seconds before i turned the tap on.
yep, there are definitely some things nice, today.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
today
for the first time in a long time today, i felt bad about myself.
i had gone to new asia bar where equinox restaurant is, and i had felt so ill at ease that i would sooner break the windows with a high chair and the leap through the damage that i had done just to get out of there. when i thought about it though, i hadn't really much of an idea why i had so wanted to leave.
it could be the fact that i had been scrutinised upon my entrance (mostly men who are having drinks at that overpriced location at six, for some reason) or it could be that the service was bad (no forks nor knives and the only cutlery when they were serving pizza we had were chopsticks - the kind made out of pine that you have to snap apart - plus having my beer spilt onto my toes when the waiter was pouring it for my colleagues. that was after one of the barstaff refused to serve our table. i don't understand why. no, really. i don't understand why) - oh, i don't know.
i'm thinking both, though i'm swaying more towards the former when i'm scrutinised again on the way out, especially on the way out, because for some funny reason one of the ladies have pointed me out, it seems, to a gentleman companion of hers and he in turn had stared at me as i walked out, with my usual orange handbag and jacket. it might be because i was hauling a humongous paper bag, i don't know.
maybe they hadn't seen big brown paperbags before and therefore felt the need to stare.
whatever it is, i was very thankful by the time i reached the elevator located outside the bar - i thought i wouldn't make it alive, what with those looks (i can't tell if they're benign or otherwise. truth be told, i can't care less but i just hate to be stared at, it makes me itch inside) that follow me wherever i go.
no, i'm not being sensitive. THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME. whether or not they remember me later on is another matter altogether - I HATE BEING STARED AT.
good god. why can't people just behave normally? know that i'm there and leave it at that? can't people be more civil??? geebus.
i had gone to new asia bar where equinox restaurant is, and i had felt so ill at ease that i would sooner break the windows with a high chair and the leap through the damage that i had done just to get out of there. when i thought about it though, i hadn't really much of an idea why i had so wanted to leave.
it could be the fact that i had been scrutinised upon my entrance (mostly men who are having drinks at that overpriced location at six, for some reason) or it could be that the service was bad (no forks nor knives and the only cutlery when they were serving pizza we had were chopsticks - the kind made out of pine that you have to snap apart - plus having my beer spilt onto my toes when the waiter was pouring it for my colleagues. that was after one of the barstaff refused to serve our table. i don't understand why. no, really. i don't understand why) - oh, i don't know.
i'm thinking both, though i'm swaying more towards the former when i'm scrutinised again on the way out, especially on the way out, because for some funny reason one of the ladies have pointed me out, it seems, to a gentleman companion of hers and he in turn had stared at me as i walked out, with my usual orange handbag and jacket. it might be because i was hauling a humongous paper bag, i don't know.
maybe they hadn't seen big brown paperbags before and therefore felt the need to stare.
whatever it is, i was very thankful by the time i reached the elevator located outside the bar - i thought i wouldn't make it alive, what with those looks (i can't tell if they're benign or otherwise. truth be told, i can't care less but i just hate to be stared at, it makes me itch inside) that follow me wherever i go.
no, i'm not being sensitive. THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME. whether or not they remember me later on is another matter altogether - I HATE BEING STARED AT.
good god. why can't people just behave normally? know that i'm there and leave it at that? can't people be more civil??? geebus.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
money
you know what?
i'm going to make money. i'm going to sell whatever it is that i can sell. not my body, of course - but what i can sell, i will sell. hell, i will even buy then sell.
you just watch me!
i'm going to make money. i'm going to sell whatever it is that i can sell. not my body, of course - but what i can sell, i will sell. hell, i will even buy then sell.
you just watch me!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
the meaning of a brother
i think, today, i found out the meaning of having a brother.
a dear cousin showed me. it made me cry.
seriously. he stood up for me.
a dear cousin showed me. it made me cry.
seriously. he stood up for me.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
-grin-
yes, today's been an eventful day.
again, cousin saved the day; i got a jar of marmalaaade and some bread too! :D yummm
it's amazing how the simplest things can bring the warmest of sentiments. yep, times like this i'm so very glad that i have family around. bery bery blessed leh!
...though to top it off, i came home to my mum's phone call... and she was telling me, amongst other things, that i should wear a carved penis......... ^^'
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
flu travels
i had the flu today, and hadn't turned up for work. felt so bloody tired that i fell into a deep deep sleep during the afternoon - it was with great effort that i had managed to drag myself out of bed and get myself to the doctor's.
well on the way there i saw, through the rusting zinc barricades, a half knocked-down (or half-built) house. it's like one of those houses you see in war-torn countries, only this one stands beside a perfectly lived-in and undamaged one in the "upper crust" part of the island. i noticed there were some polo shirts gently swaying in the late afternoon breeze from a makeshift clothesline on the second storey of the house. i gathered that might be the place where the inhabitants slept and rested at - after a long day's work or even in-between periods of hard labour, perhaps?
there was no wall behind the clothesline when there would usually be a wall - i could see the clear sky behind it. nobody was in sight, neither. did they really live where they worked at? it's quite nice to live where you build. though... it's kinda sad that whatever you live at and build will never be yours.
that glimpse and thought was enough to send me further into my contemplations, while i was in the bus hanging on for dear life with the bus driver's F1 antics.
..well, actually the bus was rather empty and i was seated - i just felt like saying that so you would think i am one of those moody-thoughtful types. :P
anyways. so i wondered: is it possible that some people will always live in such "war-torn" conditions no matter where they go? i mean, if i may make the assumption that those clothes belong to immigrants who come to "where the fish is plenty and the sky is always blue" to work - is it possible that those people had moved from hunger to having "having a roof over their heads, sort of"?
assuming that they ARE living in that particular spot, of course.
even if they weren't. where do they put up at? from a rambling country to a walled-up (ish) cubicle. which did they prefer, walled up completely or just walled-up (ish)? hoe long did they have to stay in those kind of uh, homes? does it matter to them anymore?
because, goodness knows that they are going through what our forefathers are going through - only difference being our island being "new land" back then and we had the chance to take it. right now... well, right now singapore's taken.
what gives?
and those were my thoughts until i suddenly realised that i was at my stop.
well on the way there i saw, through the rusting zinc barricades, a half knocked-down (or half-built) house. it's like one of those houses you see in war-torn countries, only this one stands beside a perfectly lived-in and undamaged one in the "upper crust" part of the island. i noticed there were some polo shirts gently swaying in the late afternoon breeze from a makeshift clothesline on the second storey of the house. i gathered that might be the place where the inhabitants slept and rested at - after a long day's work or even in-between periods of hard labour, perhaps?
there was no wall behind the clothesline when there would usually be a wall - i could see the clear sky behind it. nobody was in sight, neither. did they really live where they worked at? it's quite nice to live where you build. though... it's kinda sad that whatever you live at and build will never be yours.
that glimpse and thought was enough to send me further into my contemplations, while i was in the bus hanging on for dear life with the bus driver's F1 antics.
..well, actually the bus was rather empty and i was seated - i just felt like saying that so you would think i am one of those moody-thoughtful types. :P
anyways. so i wondered: is it possible that some people will always live in such "war-torn" conditions no matter where they go? i mean, if i may make the assumption that those clothes belong to immigrants who come to "where the fish is plenty and the sky is always blue" to work - is it possible that those people had moved from hunger to having "having a roof over their heads, sort of"?
assuming that they ARE living in that particular spot, of course.
even if they weren't. where do they put up at? from a rambling country to a walled-up (ish) cubicle. which did they prefer, walled up completely or just walled-up (ish)? hoe long did they have to stay in those kind of uh, homes? does it matter to them anymore?
because, goodness knows that they are going through what our forefathers are going through - only difference being our island being "new land" back then and we had the chance to take it. right now... well, right now singapore's taken.
what gives?
and those were my thoughts until i suddenly realised that i was at my stop.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
am happy. am very, very happy.
yes, i'm happy.
today is the boyfriend's birthday.
happy birthday, dear. :*
today is the boyfriend's birthday.
happy birthday, dear. :*
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
plant
relationships are like plants - you can't water it once in a month and expect it to grow healthy. relationships are rarely the cactus kind.
you can't give it fertiliser and water and tender loving care only to keep it from dying - if you were doing that then all you will be doing is trying to keep it alive. isn't it way better to be able to enjoy the plant by keeping it healthy by giving it consistent care? don't you, as a gardener, like to take care of the plant? or are you the kind that would rather have a nap or eat a sandwich instead? if it were the latter then gardening isn't for you.
then you're just setting yourself up for "parasites" that you will have to lose sleep over.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
worms inside your face
do you know what the black stuff that's been rubbed all over the chap's face?
...a live roach.
Monday, September 03, 2007
for a long time now
you know, i hadn't felt this good about myself in a long long while. i'm smiling, actually happy while i type this in the wee hours of the morning with only the nightlight, despite knowing i'll bloody pay for it in the morning.
well, if i'm going to change something about the way i did things, this (the blog design) will be a start.
well, if i'm going to change something about the way i did things, this (the blog design) will be a start.
peace
it's easy to see how things can get out of hand when you're in love.
you don't realise you've become another person so you can 'give the best' to the other chap, who you think will give you the same things you are giving him.
i can't believe i allowed myself to be unhappy for this long a time.
well, that's going to change. i'm going to be happy.
i promise to treat my charming self better.
you don't realise you've become another person so you can 'give the best' to the other chap, who you think will give you the same things you are giving him.
i can't believe i allowed myself to be unhappy for this long a time.
well, that's going to change. i'm going to be happy.
i promise to treat my charming self better.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
little miss's saturday evening with mister hedgehog
quick non-lyrical update: one lovely day, even better evening.
well. mostly better evening than lovely day. :)
thank you, mister hedgehog, very much. i've had a wonderful time, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did ;)
well. mostly better evening than lovely day. :)
thank you, mister hedgehog, very much. i've had a wonderful time, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did ;)
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
a touch of lonesome, please
i've had a touch of lonesome today, a tad like a touch of flu.
it's strange how lonesome-ness feels - i refuse to call it loneliness, "lonesome-ness" hints at a kind of a romantic geeky-cool while "loneliness" simply means that you're more sad than you really are.
...or maybe that's just my body telling me i'm dehydrated.
it's strange how lonesome-ness feels - i refuse to call it loneliness, "lonesome-ness" hints at a kind of a romantic geeky-cool while "loneliness" simply means that you're more sad than you really are.
...or maybe that's just my body telling me i'm dehydrated.
word of the day - www.dictionary.com
pukka \PUHK-uh\, adjective:
1. Authentic; genuine.
2. Good of its kind; first-class.
He talks like the quintessential pukka Englishman and quotes Chesterton and Kipling by the yard and yet he has chosen to live most of his adult life abroad.
-- Lynn Barber, "Bell book . . . and then what?", The Observer, August 27, 2000
If he does not have a house, the government gives him a pukka residence, not a . . . shack on the pavement but a solid construction.
-- Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, "cooked, ripe," from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, "he cooks."
1. Authentic; genuine.
2. Good of its kind; first-class.
He talks like the quintessential pukka Englishman and quotes Chesterton and Kipling by the yard and yet he has chosen to live most of his adult life abroad.
-- Lynn Barber, "Bell book . . . and then what?", The Observer, August 27, 2000
If he does not have a house, the government gives him a pukka residence, not a . . . shack on the pavement but a solid construction.
-- Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, "cooked, ripe," from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, "he cooks."
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
lions
i almost wept to see this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmc8gDzk2sg&mode=related&search=
and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAk8Z8Bcsz8&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmc8gDzk2sg&mode=related&search=
and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAk8Z8Bcsz8&mode=related&search=
Saturday, August 25, 2007
footnote at the top
okay. in case you're wondering just who it is that can "put mentors in my path" and "for that CD" - i am not thanking a human being.
i am thanking my Lord, God. i equate Him with the whole of the universe, all that is good and fair (beautiful). i am, i am, i am loved.
i am thanking my Lord, God. i equate Him with the whole of the universe, all that is good and fair (beautiful). i am, i am, i am loved.
this is the day
i had gone to the trade fair at suntec today, and i know, i just know that this is the day that will change my life.
i learnt so much in just one day about the things i want to learn about it's not funny. the things i need to know about this trading thing - the teachers and mentors that have been put in my path, the avenues in which i may walk to get myself to the right place - by george am i thankful for this!
THANK YOU!
for making everything so easy. my sincere thanks!
and thanks for the tom jones CD. i knew i fell in love again when i heard tom jones sing.
i learnt so much in just one day about the things i want to learn about it's not funny. the things i need to know about this trading thing - the teachers and mentors that have been put in my path, the avenues in which i may walk to get myself to the right place - by george am i thankful for this!
THANK YOU!
for making everything so easy. my sincere thanks!
and thanks for the tom jones CD. i knew i fell in love again when i heard tom jones sing.
Monday, August 20, 2007
biscuits
yum.
thank you for the ritz biscuits dear, they're yummy. the pack i'd bought before this was too hard, it felt a little like biting a ritz brick instead of a ritz biscuit.
love it dipped in nutella!
i'm still curious about how the food pack tastes like...
thank you for the ritz biscuits dear, they're yummy. the pack i'd bought before this was too hard, it felt a little like biting a ritz brick instead of a ritz biscuit.
love it dipped in nutella!
i'm still curious about how the food pack tastes like...
on the bus
on the bus home today, my mind wandered to my schoolmates from back then. to one particular girl, actually. her name's jueqi, she's from one of "the better classes" in high school and she is my badminton team member.
despite the fact that i was more social than her, boisterous and better than her in badminton, she never did take a liking to me. i wondered why, for the longest time, until i finally asked her. the response was basically condescending, for lack of a better word.
"you seem like a ne'er-do-well," she had said in chinese. her english wasn't even good enough for a proper sentence, but i didn't take it to heart. i wanted to find out why she found the air about me foul - not to pinpoint that her grasp on the language wasn't as strong as it should be for someone from her high station in the school's academic hierarchy.
and that set me thinking. isn't it strange? just because she can count and i couldn't seemed to give her moral high ground. but then, maybe our math textbooks were thick enough to have her think that they are pedestals she can step on...?
whatever it is, i did not understand. neither did i bother. i just understood that she didn't like me and let that pass (i wasn't always that easy-going on others' opinions: i'd always thought that i was not well-liked in my school community because i thought i stuck out like a sore thumb. my three dear friends will know).
we spoke as much as we did before (which was to say not much) and when we graduated i nearly entirely forgot about her. though... i do wonder... if she's in some firm somewhere counting beans.
or in some university being taught how to count beans, if she hasn't graduated yet.
well. wherever she is now, i hope she is happy, as i am happy. true that my memory and impression of her was not entirely favourable, but i am sure there must be some side to her that i do not know about. there must be some side of her that is at least likeable that i hadn't the chance to recognise.
with that, i wish her the best, that she is in the place she is meant to be in and is enjoying herself there. well-wishes from a person you despise, huh. might be a first, probably won't be the last.
despite the fact that i was more social than her, boisterous and better than her in badminton, she never did take a liking to me. i wondered why, for the longest time, until i finally asked her. the response was basically condescending, for lack of a better word.
"you seem like a ne'er-do-well," she had said in chinese. her english wasn't even good enough for a proper sentence, but i didn't take it to heart. i wanted to find out why she found the air about me foul - not to pinpoint that her grasp on the language wasn't as strong as it should be for someone from her high station in the school's academic hierarchy.
and that set me thinking. isn't it strange? just because she can count and i couldn't seemed to give her moral high ground. but then, maybe our math textbooks were thick enough to have her think that they are pedestals she can step on...?
whatever it is, i did not understand. neither did i bother. i just understood that she didn't like me and let that pass (i wasn't always that easy-going on others' opinions: i'd always thought that i was not well-liked in my school community because i thought i stuck out like a sore thumb. my three dear friends will know).
we spoke as much as we did before (which was to say not much) and when we graduated i nearly entirely forgot about her. though... i do wonder... if she's in some firm somewhere counting beans.
or in some university being taught how to count beans, if she hasn't graduated yet.
well. wherever she is now, i hope she is happy, as i am happy. true that my memory and impression of her was not entirely favourable, but i am sure there must be some side to her that i do not know about. there must be some side of her that is at least likeable that i hadn't the chance to recognise.
with that, i wish her the best, that she is in the place she is meant to be in and is enjoying herself there. well-wishes from a person you despise, huh. might be a first, probably won't be the last.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
old letters
i have stumbled upon an old letter when i was searching for something just now...
i couldn't remember what it said, so i read it. what i read brought a pang to my heart - for it was a letter from an old flame, one of the dramatic ones i've had.
i wonder how he is now, if he's got a kid or three, now.
i couldn't remember what it said, so i read it. what i read brought a pang to my heart - for it was a letter from an old flame, one of the dramatic ones i've had.
i wonder how he is now, if he's got a kid or three, now.
Friday, August 17, 2007
OMG FREAKED
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip/swf/index.htm
http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip/swf/index.htm
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