power struggles

i don't do power struggles. not anymore, because it tires me out fighting with someone i'm supposed to love or in this case, was supposed to come to love.

i'm sorry it never did go past "like" for you, but that's okay. we don't know what we hadn't had. there is no loss when there was no gain.

in all sincerity, i am sorry it was you. thank you for the sweet flowers. thank you, for the time we hung out at my place, for the tau huay and porridge that you brought. i enjoyed and looked forward to them.

the hanging out, i mean.


though... i still will have to say that there is a difference between being concerned and being adamantly controlling about how another person should live. nobody likes being told what to do, in that tone that borders on ordering. there's simply no way an older, more matured person would behave that way to me*.

plus don't you agree that i'm a big girl and i know how to take care of myself?


well. whatever it is, it's passed now and i know that i don't like having to spend the rest of my life with someone who behaves like my father instead of a boyfriend/husband, and i know that's what you were aiming to be.


thank you, once again, for the good times. i will remember them.



* postscript: i take that back. i'd just met someone who IS older than i am and likes to bossily tell me that i eat too little. now, though, it's been toned down to nagging at me to say that i should eat more. thankfully.