yes, the world ends.
i've decided that i don't want to be a designer some time ago. i'd ratehr write. at least i can get published and take jobs and suchlike. contract basis, you know?
cause i know of a life i want to lead. and let me lead it. for i know no matter what path i choose it will be the right one. because it is so.
amen.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
graphic designer saves the world!
well. not quite "saves the world"-saves the world but, you know, "the world".
picture this: top graphic designer, award-winning, witty, smart alecky, atheletic and sexy as hell has his family's creative firm held politically ransom by this hotshot bigger creative firm (aka Dr. Evil) that runs the show - and apparently said hero graphic designer has the link to this contact and only he can persuade her to give the Contract of the Century to Doc E (childhood friend from the The Contract's firm who's also hawt as heck - only woman) - with, of course, some percentage cut in between so the smaller firm "benefits" too.
nothing more than an underhanded political scam to win the contract, our hero scrambles to prepare for cold calls to childhood friend, stay up late nights and skip meals to rush presentation after presentation for layers and layers of management people, make frantic phone calls, decide that he's falling for hawt-as-heck childhood friend and looking so yummilicious while sporting that five-o'clock shadow.
oh, oh, wait! and, and - the girl dies as a result of double-crossing him - pretend to help him but sold his ideas to Dr E's firm for an extra buck. reason of death: got found out then got taped to the wall by designer LV tape.
sounds like a story?
picture this: top graphic designer, award-winning, witty, smart alecky, atheletic and sexy as hell has his family's creative firm held politically ransom by this hotshot bigger creative firm (aka Dr. Evil) that runs the show - and apparently said hero graphic designer has the link to this contact and only he can persuade her to give the Contract of the Century to Doc E (childhood friend from the The Contract's firm who's also hawt as heck - only woman) - with, of course, some percentage cut in between so the smaller firm "benefits" too.
nothing more than an underhanded political scam to win the contract, our hero scrambles to prepare for cold calls to childhood friend, stay up late nights and skip meals to rush presentation after presentation for layers and layers of management people, make frantic phone calls, decide that he's falling for hawt-as-heck childhood friend and looking so yummilicious while sporting that five-o'clock shadow.
oh, oh, wait! and, and - the girl dies as a result of double-crossing him - pretend to help him but sold his ideas to Dr E's firm for an extra buck. reason of death: got found out then got taped to the wall by designer LV tape.
sounds like a story?
Thursday, January 25, 2007
here it comes...
and here it comes.
should i have said those words? maybe.
don't talk to me now, i'm so exhausted i can barely think. thank heavens for nature's self-running systems, i'd've stopped breathing otherwise!
should i have said those words? maybe.
don't talk to me now, i'm so exhausted i can barely think. thank heavens for nature's self-running systems, i'd've stopped breathing otherwise!
words i'm going to regret
what i've been suspecting is true, i'm finally putting my stamp on it: he does not think for others.
he thinks OF others, but not FOR others. it's mostly still very centered around the self.
...it's like that with many things - waking up; getting dressed; going out shopping. i meet your parents you don't meet mine. i meet your extended family, you still won't meet mine. it's not as if i'm not scared of meeting them, neither.
you are not ready for this. you're ready for love but you're not ready for a relationship.
he thinks OF others, but not FOR others. it's mostly still very centered around the self.
...it's like that with many things - waking up; getting dressed; going out shopping. i meet your parents you don't meet mine. i meet your extended family, you still won't meet mine. it's not as if i'm not scared of meeting them, neither.
you are not ready for this. you're ready for love but you're not ready for a relationship.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
buh
and it's times like this that i almost feel fulfilled: filling in colours with photoshop for an illustration at this kind of hour when i have to wake at seven odd the next day for another 12-hour day.
...do i only live for the night?
...do i only live for the night?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
a pencil
i took my pencil for a spin today
it's like walking a dog
in so many ways
i brought my eraser along too
firmly held in my left hand
just in case the pencil ran away
and so we walked
the three of us
on the paper that i brought
i merely held it; the pencil took me
to perceptions and lined sights
so very different from the pen's inked might
...and it is unfinished.
it's like walking a dog
in so many ways
i brought my eraser along too
firmly held in my left hand
just in case the pencil ran away
and so we walked
the three of us
on the paper that i brought
i merely held it; the pencil took me
to perceptions and lined sights
so very different from the pen's inked might
...and it is unfinished.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
politix
sometimes it doesn't get much better than this though i do have to wonder: is having something to do really all that important?
i'd like to write. for all the time i spend thinking and verbalising - i do wonder why i'm not writing. or being a psychologist? bah.
i'd prolly screw more people up. heh.
let. me. go.
i'd like to write. for all the time i spend thinking and verbalising - i do wonder why i'm not writing. or being a psychologist? bah.
i'd prolly screw more people up. heh.
let. me. go.
Friday, January 19, 2007
tribute.
work is i; i is work.
thankfully my dear sweetheart's taking the time to visit! it goes a great deal easier when he's around.
thanks, sweetie. :)
and then there're the three lovely ladies who are always near even when they're not physically there - these are the people that make life worth living, that every moment i spend in the office is worth it because they're about. su, jas, jenn: you all are like fine chocolate: great anytime.
love you, i love you loads.
thankfully my dear sweetheart's taking the time to visit! it goes a great deal easier when he's around.
thanks, sweetie. :)
and then there're the three lovely ladies who are always near even when they're not physically there - these are the people that make life worth living, that every moment i spend in the office is worth it because they're about. su, jas, jenn: you all are like fine chocolate: great anytime.
love you, i love you loads.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
photographic intimacy
there is something inherently intimate about digitally enhancing someone's portrait.
having to examine the face while the eyes are staring/smiling at you; having to rid the person of a double outline (when camera shakes) positively makes me blush: you have to zoom right in and lightly brush away the double where the outline of the face is, you have to do the same for the rims and corners of the ears -
it's like caressing someone with that someone smiling at you, warm and welcoming that it is you.
...digital imaging. it is sensuous.
having to examine the face while the eyes are staring/smiling at you; having to rid the person of a double outline (when camera shakes) positively makes me blush: you have to zoom right in and lightly brush away the double where the outline of the face is, you have to do the same for the rims and corners of the ears -
it's like caressing someone with that someone smiling at you, warm and welcoming that it is you.
...digital imaging. it is sensuous.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
days, days
the days come and the days go. it doesn't even matter what day of the week it is.
and life goes on, eh?
and life goes on, eh?
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
"beliefs" and "the road VS the sea"
had a bout of blue self-reflective mood last night and the result is this: -
"beliefs"
in reflection: -
sometimes it's nice to be believed in, that i can do [whatever it is you think i can do] and do it well. sometimes, it's just nice to be believed in, period.
---
"the world owes me"
i think i'm happier a hermit on some island than one in a city. at least when i'm on an island the world has an excuse to not visit, not call, not appear. when you're in a city, however... it is so much more obvious that you're not in their thoughts
it sounds like a saying (of sorts) that i've heard some years ago: people do not lose friendships over the inability to say hello from over the seas; they lose friendships over the inability to say hello from across the street. and it makes sense, no?
"beliefs"
in reflection: -
sometimes it's nice to be believed in, that i can do [whatever it is you think i can do] and do it well. sometimes, it's just nice to be believed in, period.
---
"the world owes me"
i think i'm happier a hermit on some island than one in a city. at least when i'm on an island the world has an excuse to not visit, not call, not appear. when you're in a city, however... it is so much more obvious that you're not in their thoughts
it sounds like a saying (of sorts) that i've heard some years ago: people do not lose friendships over the inability to say hello from over the seas; they lose friendships over the inability to say hello from across the street. and it makes sense, no?
Sunday, January 14, 2007
final fantasy
i think it's every woman's duty to give men a romance story they'll never forget. let it be tumultuous, dramatic, peaceful, loving, whatnot - but make sure it is memorable, so that when they think back of their "glorious days" they will remember you as "the one that got away", or even better: "the one he can never hold on to".
yes, it is every woman's duty. do not make him sigh with fond memories for that's what he will do for the rest of the world anyways. make him rail, rant, weep or run away from it altogether - for those are the memories that stick, and those are the memories that make a man, memories that will change how a man loves a woman; the way a woman wants to be loved.
and before you think we're the evil incarnate - it's not all a bed of sadistic roses on our side, neither: just think of all the things we have to do to get through to you. it takes dresses ($257.00), necklaces ($53.00), shoes ($119.00), hairstyle ($88.00), great skin ($8,9877.00) and a great personality (priceless) just to get you to notice us!
and on top of that, we need to have the smarts and guile to make you, the objects of our twisted desires, to love and - if things don't work out, remember - us.
...great skills in bed, of course, help.
then maybe, when you men have at least one romance story to pass on to your sons - maybe, just maybe - we women will finally find a romance story of our own as well.
maybe, eh? just maybe.
yes, it is every woman's duty. do not make him sigh with fond memories for that's what he will do for the rest of the world anyways. make him rail, rant, weep or run away from it altogether - for those are the memories that stick, and those are the memories that make a man, memories that will change how a man loves a woman; the way a woman wants to be loved.
and before you think we're the evil incarnate - it's not all a bed of sadistic roses on our side, neither: just think of all the things we have to do to get through to you. it takes dresses ($257.00), necklaces ($53.00), shoes ($119.00), hairstyle ($88.00), great skin ($8,9877.00) and a great personality (priceless) just to get you to notice us!
and on top of that, we need to have the smarts and guile to make you, the objects of our twisted desires, to love and - if things don't work out, remember - us.
...great skills in bed, of course, help.
then maybe, when you men have at least one romance story to pass on to your sons - maybe, just maybe - we women will finally find a romance story of our own as well.
maybe, eh? just maybe.
Friday, January 12, 2007
i love fridays
oooh boy. another one walked in.
well-spoken, good general knowledge and of course, well-dressed. looks established, too. yummm.
well-spoken, good general knowledge and of course, well-dressed. looks established, too. yummm.
the finger exerciser
ohkay now. those who have made out - ever wondered how some men (and/or women, depending on your inclinations) seem to find inexhaustible, for lack of a better word - energy - to do their finger magic?
i think i'd just found out just where they get their "training" from: their mice. surprised?
not the furry kind, no. i'm talking about the ones with tails attached to the computer. the ones with the scroll button.
(...it'd be weird if he derives pleasure from doing the funky rubba on them furries, no? EW. mice in throes of passion: DOUBLE EW)
yeeeah you know what i'm talking about. the mice with them scroll buttons. so those people who have to do lots of surfing to look for information and administrative data-entry-ing - you know who you are.
alright alright i'll come clean. i was thinking dirty thoughts and this admin girl sitting near my was going at the scroll button with gusto. and voila.
i think i'd just found out just where they get their "training" from: their mice. surprised?
not the furry kind, no. i'm talking about the ones with tails attached to the computer. the ones with the scroll button.
(...it'd be weird if he derives pleasure from doing the funky rubba on them furries, no? EW. mice in throes of passion: DOUBLE EW)
yeeeah you know what i'm talking about. the mice with them scroll buttons. so those people who have to do lots of surfing to look for information and administrative data-entry-ing - you know who you are.
alright alright i'll come clean. i was thinking dirty thoughts and this admin girl sitting near my was going at the scroll button with gusto. and voila.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
them metros
right.
them metros. they're hawt. i like them, because the know how to choose their clothes, how to put them together and they recognise a good haircut when they get one. plus they take care of their skin and are CLEAN.
combine that with - god forbid - roguish charm and that i-know-something-you-don't grin AND suitable perfume - good golly! is that a recipe for a swoonful moment or what!
it is exciting to be near such a person, when he does not speak much - pardon, ESPECIALLY if he doesn't speak much - what a disappointment it would be, if they were to say something stupid, no? ...then again, who'm i to complain? i'm quite the blonde myself. :P
thankfully though, the metros i've met are nothing like that. they're hot. as in, seriously hot AND smart. they have good builds, speak well, are great cooks, well-educated and are so chivalrous it makes my knees weak. it's amazing. they, are the modern-day knights in shirts and shiny shoes.
of course one may argue that aiyer these people are so gu niang, real men don't do stuff like that.
heh.
...heh.
hehehehhehehehehe
you real man you go get your lady lah. see if she likes you when you have B.O. and have pimples on your face not. "real men".
hah!
them metros. they're hawt. i like them, because the know how to choose their clothes, how to put them together and they recognise a good haircut when they get one. plus they take care of their skin and are CLEAN.
combine that with - god forbid - roguish charm and that i-know-something-you-don't grin AND suitable perfume - good golly! is that a recipe for a swoonful moment or what!
it is exciting to be near such a person, when he does not speak much - pardon, ESPECIALLY if he doesn't speak much - what a disappointment it would be, if they were to say something stupid, no? ...then again, who'm i to complain? i'm quite the blonde myself. :P
thankfully though, the metros i've met are nothing like that. they're hot. as in, seriously hot AND smart. they have good builds, speak well, are great cooks, well-educated and are so chivalrous it makes my knees weak. it's amazing. they, are the modern-day knights in shirts and shiny shoes.
of course one may argue that aiyer these people are so gu niang, real men don't do stuff like that.
heh.
...heh.
hehehehhehehehehe
you real man you go get your lady lah. see if she likes you when you have B.O. and have pimples on your face not. "real men".
hah!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
ahem
i stand below the shower stall
and turned the hot side on
i waited till the water warmed
then let the cold side flow
water drizzled upon my person
like so much fallen silk
i clothe myself with a mantle of foam
and began to sing in there
i sang of lost love and betrayal
in an overtly cheerful way
the way i sang that sad sad song
you'd think my heart went to play
more water later
while i sang some more
played one-footed ice-skating
with the soap on the bathtub floor
i wore the soap down a little
the bathtub - it seems clean
i rinsed my toes and all aglow
put back the non-offensive soap
i stepped out of the shower, put on my robe
backwards a step and forwards; two
showerfoam in hand and woo-ooh-ooh
"don't you make my brown eyes blue"
and turned the hot side on
i waited till the water warmed
then let the cold side flow
water drizzled upon my person
like so much fallen silk
i clothe myself with a mantle of foam
and began to sing in there
i sang of lost love and betrayal
in an overtly cheerful way
the way i sang that sad sad song
you'd think my heart went to play
more water later
while i sang some more
played one-footed ice-skating
with the soap on the bathtub floor
i wore the soap down a little
the bathtub - it seems clean
i rinsed my toes and all aglow
put back the non-offensive soap
i stepped out of the shower, put on my robe
backwards a step and forwards; two
showerfoam in hand and woo-ooh-ooh
"don't you make my brown eyes blue"
Monday, January 08, 2007
Sunday, January 07, 2007
sprung
well.
now that i'd taken a nice self-indulgent dip in the pool of luuurve, shuffled out and dried myself off, reality sets in: work tomorrow. my trial period for my program also ends tomorrow. well technically it ends today... either way, i can't use the damn program then.
hmm. met up with the babes this evening, had a great time. it's always a pleasure seeing them. it's a great way to start the real week of the year!
heh heh heh and i laugh because i know something you don't.
now that i'd taken a nice self-indulgent dip in the pool of luuurve, shuffled out and dried myself off, reality sets in: work tomorrow. my trial period for my program also ends tomorrow. well technically it ends today... either way, i can't use the damn program then.
hmm. met up with the babes this evening, had a great time. it's always a pleasure seeing them. it's a great way to start the real week of the year!
heh heh heh and i laugh because i know something you don't.
and i proclaim!
(mush alert!)
at the risk of sounding like every other besotted dolt in history: i love him.
i love the way he looks when he smiles, the way he eats his bak kut teh (cleans off the meat and then leaves the bones back in the soup. i don't understand why), the way his hair stands up in different angles like his head'd just been the battleground of two mini typhoons -
his skinniness i now think of as sleekness and his mathematical eptitude, patience and analytical mind makes me take my hat off to him. i positively melt whenever he pulls me close, when he smiles into my eyes or when he does the manja thing. he makes me blush to the tips of my toes.
it's easy to be in love with a person like that, don't you think?
i find no shame in singing him praises and giving him my adoration. his humility and being shyly loving makes him even more deserving of all of these.
at the risk of sounding like every other besotted dolt in history: i love him.
i love the way he looks when he smiles, the way he eats his bak kut teh (cleans off the meat and then leaves the bones back in the soup. i don't understand why), the way his hair stands up in different angles like his head'd just been the battleground of two mini typhoons -
his skinniness i now think of as sleekness and his mathematical eptitude, patience and analytical mind makes me take my hat off to him. i positively melt whenever he pulls me close, when he smiles into my eyes or when he does the manja thing. he makes me blush to the tips of my toes.
it's easy to be in love with a person like that, don't you think?
i find no shame in singing him praises and giving him my adoration. his humility and being shyly loving makes him even more deserving of all of these.
the ants and the french
i noticed, when i had the time to sit down and release a bit of tension (loo break), that ants stop to greet each other when they're on the trail to or from the nest.
it's like french people at a wedding, only with more family members. hmm.
i wonder if those customs were picked up from nature.
it's like french people at a wedding, only with more family members. hmm.
i wonder if those customs were picked up from nature.
plain like water
i realise the beauty about blogs is that it's personal and doesn't quite interest others. in this sea of blogs and entries i can safely say that the fact that blogs are "public" is the very reason why it's selectively private.
and it works, doesn't it.
finding refuge, so to speak, in the most public of places, because it's so darned hard to find within the others. almost like sifting through trashcans to look for pearls.
beh. sunday afternoon musings.
and it works, doesn't it.
finding refuge, so to speak, in the most public of places, because it's so darned hard to find within the others. almost like sifting through trashcans to look for pearls.
beh. sunday afternoon musings.
ho boy
wow.
i guess i was naive. tried to spread a little goodness around and almost got fucked for it. maybe bitterness doesn't dissolve itself so quickly for others and no matter how long it's been, they'll always have a pair of "ugly" shades for you.
(for the uninitiated, "ugly" shades means that whatever you do, it's tinged with suspicion and some resentment. works like rose-tinted glasses in the negative way)
maybe that's why ex-es are so dreaded, eh? and maybe that's why we're ex-es now.
well. what's passed is past and if they're not over those ugly sentiments then i guess that's another pair of ugly shades in their drawer.
i guess i was naive. tried to spread a little goodness around and almost got fucked for it. maybe bitterness doesn't dissolve itself so quickly for others and no matter how long it's been, they'll always have a pair of "ugly" shades for you.
(for the uninitiated, "ugly" shades means that whatever you do, it's tinged with suspicion and some resentment. works like rose-tinted glasses in the negative way)
maybe that's why ex-es are so dreaded, eh? and maybe that's why we're ex-es now.
well. what's passed is past and if they're not over those ugly sentiments then i guess that's another pair of ugly shades in their drawer.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
the toothbrush
the toothbrush is a bristled tool that you stick in your mouth every day to give it the daily cleaning-out. you stick it in with a dollop (or smudge, if you are the rationing kind) of toothpaste and brush away the powdery stuff at the back of your teeth and the cakier kind nearer the gums.
and then you wonder, where it all comes from and what you would do without the toothbrush and if you could ever survive with just toothpaste and brush your teeth by spreading some toothpaste on your index finger and doing the funky rubba with it.
or maybe the other way round; does one work without the other, can't we chew all mint leaves instead?
teeth-brushing. it's become a daily process that we take for granted. i liken it to smoking. smokers may feel that the process of smoking calms them down. it may be the effect of nicotine, it may be psychological. what smoking does for people teeth-brushing does for me: it makes me slow down, shut up, and think.
and what do you do when you have time to yourself, like that? it's the moments of truth, each day, that you stand before your sink, cleaning your mouth out, possibly staring at yourself while doing it and noting that sleep hasn't done much for your fatigue. people brush their teeth while sleeping with their eyes open. i brush mine with a zen-ness not usually found in this modern society.
every toothbrushing time is self-reflection time. i recommend it to the average person who reads this. and i have to ask: have you brushed your teeth today?
and then you wonder, where it all comes from and what you would do without the toothbrush and if you could ever survive with just toothpaste and brush your teeth by spreading some toothpaste on your index finger and doing the funky rubba with it.
or maybe the other way round; does one work without the other, can't we chew all mint leaves instead?
teeth-brushing. it's become a daily process that we take for granted. i liken it to smoking. smokers may feel that the process of smoking calms them down. it may be the effect of nicotine, it may be psychological. what smoking does for people teeth-brushing does for me: it makes me slow down, shut up, and think.
and what do you do when you have time to yourself, like that? it's the moments of truth, each day, that you stand before your sink, cleaning your mouth out, possibly staring at yourself while doing it and noting that sleep hasn't done much for your fatigue. people brush their teeth while sleeping with their eyes open. i brush mine with a zen-ness not usually found in this modern society.
every toothbrushing time is self-reflection time. i recommend it to the average person who reads this. and i have to ask: have you brushed your teeth today?
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