when you realise you're in love

yes.

when you realise you're in love. with your friends, with your family, with everyone that you ever called when it's dark and quiet all over your neighbourhood. you realise that it is these very people that you call friends, and they, you.

sometimes it takes just a hello call, regardless whether it is you calling them or they calling you, to be reminded just why you love them so.

and because of that particular call, i am inspired to write about how to kill a cockroach. read on.

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there had been rumours that, if you were to take a roll of newspaper and smack the literal living daylights out of the roach you see, chances of you having:

1) to wipe up the brown stinking remains are - very high
2) them trailing all over your vanity (or your trophy case) because you missed - very high
3) smashed a few things - low; cause i hope you know to pick your battles
4) spread them eggs wherever you brought The Newspaper Roll of Cockroach Doom down onto that brown scuttling no-good - super duper sky-high

and the best part is that you can't see them eggs. those brown guinea pig-output-like pellets you see stuck onto some surfaces? they're not roach poo, neither. no, they don't exactly work like lizards that leave little surprises on random surfaces - those are roach eggs in a case.

..but you know that. ;P


so. if rumours were true (i don't want to find out, though i probably should have done the research, considering that the saying "the more you fear/hate someone/something, the more you should know about it" is my motto) - then smacking them would be a BIG no-no. plus insecticides don't work as well no more cause the roaches are developing resistances.

therefore if we were to continue trying to eradicate them with insecticide, we will eventually knock our kids and dogs out with the very same can of yuck. that's also why, on top of marketing/business strategies, we get "STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL THAN BEFORE!" cans of spray every once in a while: they get updated.

thus, to nip that in the bud: kill said six-legged freaks with shampoo. or body lotion.

rationale? nothing - i repeat: NOTHING - survives without air.

(well YOU try breathing when your head's submerged in shampoo. it's thick and gooey, easy to wash off only when you have a steady stream of water AND hands: something insects do not have a habit of having brought with them)


so - do try to muster whatever quivering courage you have, get near to the scuttling creep, and generously dollop the cancer-causing concoction over its head.


that's right. it's head. and when i say dollop, i mean DOLLOP - plural if you've bad aim - for if its head is slimed then running will be quite hard indeed. that's when you cover the sucker with goo on its head and shoulders.

i normally concentrate on its head for i've noticed that they stop moving after a while and continue to stop moving for a few days after when i didn't have the guts to remove the body.

you may, of course, choose carry on with the rest of its body. just to make sure it's dead, you know. i, for one, will understand perfectly. :D

good points of this method: -

1) whatever mess you have created smells nice. it should, for you wouldn't buy anything that stinks to wash your body with, now would you.

2) cleaning up is easy, considering it's just shampoo/lotion AND still in one piece. it's simply about wiping it all away, sans the yuck juice. plus a bit of water, if you're conscientious. insecticides tend to leave an oily film that not only smells bad it's not healthy to keep about. never mind that it helps KO unsuspecting wandering insects - you know how often you have to pass by that spot. if it's worth it, by all means. otherwise - don't, cause cleaning up an insecticide stain can be as bad as having to clean up roach juice (chemicals. hello?) - that and you require some soap to get rid of it and that's additional work on top of you having to endure every moment of its fragrant insecticidey existence.

3) said dead insect still intact, so chances of tiny eggs getting stuck between the wood on your parquet flooring after being splattered all over - assuming, of course, that the egg-spreading rumour's true - are reduced to a virtual zero.

4) great way to ensure the roach is deader than dead, cause insecticides only KNOCK THEM OUT. if you threw them out without some friendly crushing (assuming you're not keen to stomp on them outside only to wade back to your home with roach eggs on the soles of your footwear) to they actually come to and make a happy meal out of your thrash.


thus.

of course, killing roaches like that involves some dexterity and it helps you get over your fear of them. having said that, though, i have to mention that it's an entirely different issue they're flying.


that's when you run the heck away.