fancy schmancy cars

these few days walking back home had been quite a pain. literal pain.

reason? someone bought a glittery silver two-seater BMW with red seats (red seats!) and is making funky appearances out of nowhere when i return home. not only that, it sometimes is parked two doors down and i cannot help but notice its deliberately quiet presence. each time i pass by it i pinch myself to make sure i'm really seeing liquid acceleration in statis - the gorgeous things that's got enough sparkle and shine to last them through enough starless nights in a lifetime paired with just the right amount of sexual leather. and the steering wheel - OH good heavens the steering wheel! wrapped in leather and stitched just so - and not dreaming.

what i would give to sit inside, have a feel of the vehicle, run my hands on the inside of the car, knowning what i touch will be c-l-a-s-s (trust me, if i could change the font for 'c-l-a-s-s-' to something curvy and elaborate here, i would) - though i do think i would be even more appreciative if i knew how to drive. THAT's when sitting in the driver's seat will really, REALLY, make my day. (wow) did i mention i have a thing for being the driver? i have a thing for being the driver.

anyways - back to the two cars that appear in my neighbourhood - sometimes when the silver surfer's real life steed is parked on my lane, his friend wonder woman must have decided to visit cause i ALSO get a leather-topped blue two-seater SOMETHING (i don't know what it's called) cruising through my lane with what, maroon seats (?) and furry white dice dangling from the rearview mirror.

oh. wait. dangling white dice - maybe that'd be superman.


but i digress. so these two very pretty cars make their independent appearances and i go weak in the knees though i try very hard not to stare and be cool about it, walking down my lane jauntily, pretending not to give a hoot whether it's a lotus or a panini. but after it passes i would say to myself - good golly, that's a FINE car! - and mean it.

for, motor moron or not, i certainly appreciate a hot ride; whether i can tell a lamborghini HEATHEN and jaguar 5000 series X1322 apart is another question altogether. (merc? too common these days and nobody really bothers what its model name is. not me, at least. heh)


...having said that, i do, of course sometimes question the sensibility of parking the convertibles in the open with the hood still tucked away somewhere. i mean, what if people aren't polite appreciators like me and aren't content with just admiring it without touching it? what if they - God forbid - decide that they'd take liberties with my apple red Siren and hop in, have their way with the steering wheel and gear shift and (oh good heavens) have a friend take pictures - PICTURES! - of them with their low-quality mobile phone cameras?? what if they make obscene F1 racetrack noises while they're still inside my baby??!?!

OH GAWDS NOHOHOO!!


what if it rains? people keep a lid on their drinks for a reason too you know - and it's not because they like to drink outdoors when the storm is brewing. i would NEVER want my beloved darling car to be caught out in the rain like that - i would hold a BIG brolly over it and sit with it through the dark frightening nights when it's pouring buckets.

because putting a plastic sheet over it and allowing the rain to pound on it is wrong. just wrong. and even more wrong because it's like a blanket party. >:x

yes i could simply draw up the hood and sit inside while playing the radio but you're missing the point altogether.






hm. you know what?

i wouldn't want to own a car like that. i know, i know, after talking about them as if they're gifts from the Almighty - and they may well be - i wouldn't know how to keep them in their best condition and i'd hate have to deal with the aftermaths of nonsensical people taking turns at my car without my key. heck, even that sounds like molest, or worse, indecent exposure. think of the horrors my baby-poo would have to put up with!

...best leave it to the people with the knowledge and the means to upkeep these pretty things. meanwhile, i guess i can only look on in envy and appreciation, and respect the sleek little thing for what it is.


a toast to that.