worshipper vs worshippee

i think, the reason why people fall into depression when they break up is really because someone they knew believed in them has stopped doing so.

some may argue that no, i will still believe in that person after i break up with him/her - it doesn't truly mean that we aren't friends or that i'd quit thinking he/she is a great person but rather because we're incompatible.


yeah, right.

what does it look like, if that person you're breaking up with really were this great? call it what you like - you're leaving the other and it's got be like a punch in the gut. (maybe that's how the gods feel when we denounce them ya? but that's another story)

that's why people tend to be bitter and have a tendency to say things like "so is he better in bed than i am?" or "does she do this?" or maybe even "why don't you go back to him, she must be quite special, otherwise you wouldn't have cheated (or whatever)" when one party does cheat.

and the worst bit is, whether or not the "third party" is special or not, it is going to look like he/she were to the person who was "virtuous", so to speak. and who can blame them?

because they believed in you the same way you believed in them. until whatever it is that led you astray.


so... i hope you hadn't missed the point here. what i'm trying to say is not about why people cheat or if people are scum for being unfaithful, but rather why and how we can fall into the trap of believing we aren't "beautiful" anymore.

it's simple, isn't it? because the one we believe in don't believe in us anymore.



no, i hadn't fallen into depression. i think i'm one of the hottest people in the world - beyonce can take her and her booty and stand on second place. and no, this one isn't inspired by any bloke - no man's worth that kind of sorrow.

"if he's worth it he won't make you cry."

'nuff said.

awwww

“It didn't dawn on me until you were gone just how much I would mis you. Sometimes I start to pick up the phone to see if you want to do something, and then I remember you're far away. Or I go somewhere we used to go, see people having fun, and wish we could be there, too, laughing and talking like they are. Don't get me wrong...I hope you're having a good time exploring new places and making new friends. I just miss you...I guess that's only natural when someone means as much to me as you.”

-renee duvall

witticism

http://www.clown-ministry.com/index_1.php?/site/articles/clean_funny_jokes_more_witty_sayings/

where else do you find lines like "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm", "The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes" and A day without sunshine is like, night."

hahaha i must be high on the thinner fumes that's filling the office.

dis-likeable

c'est moi.

never asked to be liked, never asked to be accepted.


pride counts all.

left

people at my workplace are leaving.

i don't really know why. overworked, misunderstood, whatnot? i don't understand.


and what does this mean, really? so what does it say? workplace.

workplace does not equal home, but what gives?

call me johnny too quick

too quick too impatient.

and damn i get results. if i didn't i'm sure i would be less destructive.


but i'm lovin' it (tm).

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneezing

"Sneezing is generally caused by irritation in the passages of the nose. Allergens such as pollens, pet dander, house dust mites, as well as nonallergenic particles are usually harmless, but when they irritate the nose the body responds by expelling them from the nasal passages. The nose mistakes strong odors, sudden chills, bright lights (see photic sneeze reflex), and even orgasms in some people for nasal irritants, and it tries to defend itself with a sneeze."

whoaaa defending itself against an orgasm!

you've got a lovely bunch of coconuts

eh jas how come your blogsite only got coconuts?

what happened to your site?


every time i hit your site these few i jump at the possibility of people passing by my monitor and chancing a look.

-stress-

party

was quite bummed when i got word from a friend of mine that she wasn't that keen on attending a party i had been invited to, and had been invited to ask more friends to attend.

maybe it was the way i worded it but it rather turned her off the whole deal.

i don't quite get it but at the same time i get it. it's like i understand that emotionally but not intellectually (or vice versa); a tad like practical science vs theoretical science. you know what should happen in an experiment, why it happens, but don't kno-ohw it until you really see that potassium REALLY burns in a bright blue flame. you get what i mean?


btw, su, you're invited as well. keep trying to call you these few but just don't seem to be able to get hold of you.

lemme know.


so... yes i'm bummed cause this looks to be a chance to go out and have fun as a group, know more people, see how we all fare as a group, as an individual, our schmoozing style etc etc. we know each other personally but don't know each other. it's weird.

it's a tad like sex & e city kinda meet-up; only the four of us each time.

heck it's mostly three these days.


i'm 'the busy one', they say.

yeah. maybe.


if you say so then it must be true.



alright, carping's over. good day.

share-share lah

today, as i think of the emails i had sent, the things i had shared - i wonder if i had shared too much.

hmm.


might be time to be charmingly irreverent again, yes?

-whistle-

by golly, methinks me is going through men faster than a hot butter through knife!

wait - hot knife through butter! i meant hot knife through butter.


so this chap was nice but it looks to be no-go. 38. i liked the chap, but too bad.

buh-bye darren, helloooo singlehood! :D


-satisfied-

perception, the perceived.

humans form perceptions. like it or not, they form perceptions.

that's it's such a lethal tool. once you notice it, you know what you're about.


you know what others are about.

it does not mean that you won't be who you are or that others are mere fakes - it means that you will be more aware of falsehoods, masks.

and you will be truer to yourself than before.


do you get what i mean?

like a dusty old crone

like a dusty old crone i had forgotten, the well-loved faces of these ladies i know.

we were mere girls back then. now we are ladies.


how i've missed you, sweet people. how are you? where, are you, too? it's been too long.

someone told me i'm got a lonely little pot. i think, that after so long, i've an inkling of what it is.

i think it's the lack of you.

moving in.

i'm about to take the plunge.

take him into my arms and love him. yes.

morbid

i've this morbid fascination with parasites. i've been looking out for things like guns and printers and how to defend your home and suchlike, and i'm suddenly wondering why. is it because i've a terrorist mentality?

it's weird.

i stayed in my previous apartment in the north-east and devised evil ways to deter intruders. unless they have guns or that they're mighty experienced - that or very very determined (read: desperate) - chances are they'd turn tail and run. hmm. i hadn't devised a way to trap them though.

that will be the next step.

thus i am reading up on traps. so they cannot run and may be captured. can be quite tough a target but i'm sure, with enough devious planning, i will be able to capture unwanted intruders.

but of course. i'm probably the only person out there who's got a real interest in safe-breaking, lock-picking, home-defending and gun-wielding. heh.


on top of having an avid interest in making my own things to wear and pottery, of course. ah well. maybe i should have something that can take my interest to another level. it will be interesting, no?

i mean, knowing that i can hit the mark from donno-how-far-off is quite a reassuring thing. besides grappling the person when i have absolutely no choice, i must know i have a weapon at hand to defend myself with. HMMMM

guess it's time to work out now. no strength, no fight, unless you got skills like blow-pipe er - blowing?


well yes. i'm sure you get what i mean. and this is the kind of thing people like me get into when they get bored, bored at work, with nothing to do and had to surf to keep their brainwave level up so i don't actually fall asleep. quite sad, now, come to think of it, that i have to concentrate on my typing, how my fingers somehow finding the keys to press to scramble words onto the screen.

funky, no?


ah well. back to trap-making. maybe i can devise funny things that will freak people out: like flining jars of leeches, ants and centipedes onto people who come into my home without first announcing themselves. not a real physical attack, more like mental attack.

i realise: that if i were to attack anyone i would be attacking the mind. definitely the mind.


so well. maybe i'm quite the paranoid person i think i am.

d-bah.

wednesday.

stupid men. one thing and one thing only.

monday, monday

heh. this reminds me of the breakup i had with a certain simony.

and that's how i know that darren means something to me.

but run the heck away, run the heck away.

the first one in a long time

i'd been to malaysia yesterday with this darren chap.

had a hoot and a holler walking about, got back to singapore.

later i found out that he wanted me about because he'd overstayed by 15 days and if he were to be detained i would be the one doing the calling. he used me. bastard.

and hadn't even told me what's going on beforehand. loosed an sms to him, saying it's not acceptable and got a reply that read, very simply, 'fine!'


the worst thing is: i woke with a vaguely aching heart. man, this chap's already meaning something to me? gosh. what'm i getting into, here? is it even safe to throw caution to the wind, 'ride it', as he says?

i'm not so sure myself. i like him. but is this the right way?

iteration

'iteration'.

it means 'peat'.

to re-iterate means to re-peat.


capisce?

lemming-ed

i was looking through the massive library called the internet today, and had randomly asked a librarian named google to find me pictures of lemmings.

what i got was mainly blue-clothed little squirts with green hair - they looked like they got their genetical fashion sense from from foreign planet still stuck in yesterday's future. what i was looking for was the adorable picture of a lemming held in a palm.

so i went through the rest of the pictures and was rewarded with that self-same pictuure from wikipedia's archives. goodness that picture made me melt. it must be an infant lemming: the facial features screamed 'baby' at me - how else do i fall in love with a species that so closely resembles humans.

how?

well, they are solitary animals though they can be social. meaning they can tolerate random visitors for short periods of time but will display kickass attitude when the chap overstays its welcome. and we're talking internal bleeding lynchings; the dominant male will attack - such cute little things? attack? - until there is internal bleeding, then leaves the defending lemming to slowly bleed to death. all internal. if this doesn't remind me of humans, what does?


but anyways, adorable furry things with human tendencies aside: they're SO CUUUTE!

just check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppe_Lemming - you'll be in love, too.