i had whiled away a perfectly idlesome saturday evening clicking on buttons for personality quizzes, and there was this one particular test titled 'is he the one for you'.
the first question was as such:
The first time you met him, how did he act?
• It was so obvious that he was staring at you.
• He just said "hi".
• He was about to smile at you but you had already given him a big smile
hmm. (click)
Number Two:
When you meet him socially, he __________
• says "How are you?" or crack a joke.
• seems a little uptight.
• doesn't look at you or sometimes pretends that he isn't when you catch him.
mm - (click)
Number Three:
When you call him, he __________
• does all the talking. If you don't stop, neither does he.
• says "Hi! How are you? I'm glad you called."
• says "What's up? Nothing much? Well, I have to get back to work.
hum. tricky. (click)
and so it goes on, until number 7, in which it asks:
When you get sick, he __________
• asks your best friend about how you are doing.
• calls and says "I really hope you get well soon."
• says "Oh, there's something going around. A lot of people are getting it.
oh golly. what if the answer's the kind that doesn't fall within these three choices? hmmmmmmm isn't that tough now. (click)
and again on it goes to the end, with me thinking to myself, bemused: "this won't look good."
and true enough, it doesn't. what is there is really like a glass of water. plain as plain gets but noticably - mm, 'more'? i don't know how to explain it.
i almost laughed at my last thought: this is Da Game, in which no one knows whether the other is being interested or merely politely interested. this is Da Game that gives my straight-talking cousin the pleasurable chills.
chuckling to myself, this is ridiculous. Da Game? i had never been interested in games before, much less ones with capital letters helming them.
But that's not to say i am helpless at them when i find myself in The Arena. i'm not saying i'm great at it; i mean it more in the 'competent swimmer who prefers walking' manner. but then, games tend to be better with more people, like two.
while i understand why my cousin loves Da Game i secretly suspect he is slightly masochistic to want to be suspended in the 'want-don't-want' stage.
i like it like this, in this stage because it doesn't matter whether it's a 'want' or 'don't want'. i'm not looking for it to happen.
i want to love, for all its pleasure and smiles and highs but at the same time i don't want to love because men are such capricious creatures.
(then again so are women, even more pronounced with our PMS - 'perpetual menstrual syndrome', as some men put it. so. what gives?)
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