i was on facebook just some moments ago and HOBOY was i surprised! this chap i know from school - he's only 23, a year younger than i am, has got a child! he's got a wife and a child!
(the baby girl looks gorgeous though, fell in love with her. then again, her dad's an eurasian and the mum's pretty, too. :D )
really: WAH PIANG.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
wish
i'm a little upset, for some reason.
everything's fine, going on great, but there's this funky little agitation going on that makes my guts itch. like i need something more. like friends.
then again, it might be the hour.
everything's fine, going on great, but there's this funky little agitation going on that makes my guts itch. like i need something more. like friends.
then again, it might be the hour.
there's something about midnight
well. there's something about being awake in the wee hours of the morning; i just said midnight cause it sounded so much cooler.
there are great songs on the radio and the air is generally cooler. peaceful, too.
guess i'm enjoying my solitude, here, and enjoying the sensation of being alive.
there are great songs on the radio and the air is generally cooler. peaceful, too.
guess i'm enjoying my solitude, here, and enjoying the sensation of being alive.
Friday, November 16, 2007
life
life's been treating me good. as in, really, really good.
it's quite amazing how that works out, really. and i know it will continue to work out. Praise The Lord.
it's quite amazing how that works out, really. and i know it will continue to work out. Praise The Lord.
the previous post
well. the previous post must've scared some people.
if nobody else it's certainly scared me! it has been duly removed.
if nobody else it's certainly scared me! it has been duly removed.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
dancin' in the morning
i overslept twice today - once when i was supposed to wake up at six and call my baby so he won't be late - by the time i woke it was seven thirty - i'd slept through my alarm clock!
the second time was - well, deliberate. hur hur
and this morning, at eight fifty, i danced to the tunes on radio in my room, loving every moment of it. and i dance exactly because i can, because i have to go to work. i love my freedom in this company - i'm sorry to leave.
the second time was - well, deliberate. hur hur
and this morning, at eight fifty, i danced to the tunes on radio in my room, loving every moment of it. and i dance exactly because i can, because i have to go to work. i love my freedom in this company - i'm sorry to leave.
phuket reality
one of the go-go bars in phuket. you don't know how young the girls are, really. you also won't see how tourism can boost an economy and destroy cultures both in the same stroke, until you think about it, after you've had your laughs and more than a few glasses of drinks.
phuket spirituality
this is one of the pictures i took in phuket. spirituality can be found at the most deliberate of places.
ya think?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
decadence is...
decadence is having a hot bath in a big bathtub when it's storming outside.
decadence is walking into an air-conditioned room after that hot bath and diving into the covers, with the radio on.
bliss is having that special someone to share all of these with you.
..while bliss is a sea away, i don't mind settling for decadence.
decadence is walking into an air-conditioned room after that hot bath and diving into the covers, with the radio on.
bliss is having that special someone to share all of these with you.
..while bliss is a sea away, i don't mind settling for decadence.
Macked!
do you know that macdonald's raised their delivery price to THREE DOLLARS now?
it used to be TWO dollars! i mean, what, the price of petrol went up two hundred fold? or has there been a discovery that exhaust from motorbikes now cause immediate death?? hello, it's THREE DOLLARS.
grrr. ridiculous.
it used to be TWO dollars! i mean, what, the price of petrol went up two hundred fold? or has there been a discovery that exhaust from motorbikes now cause immediate death?? hello, it's THREE DOLLARS.
grrr. ridiculous.
oh this is so cute
really. dooce.com is one of my favourite online reads, precisely because of things like this.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
the games we play II
try this impossible quiz if you fancy yourself a schmart cookie. and the impossible quiz 2 if you don't have enough braIn damage from number 1!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
things i need to do
i know there are things i need to do, like read up on stuff, learn how to do some things better.
but i'm not doing them. :/
i keep getting distracted; i shouldn't. >_< i shouldn't.
but i'm not doing them. :/
i keep getting distracted; i shouldn't. >_< i shouldn't.
the games we play
hem the kitty. it's not as cruel as it sounds. really.
if you prefer something more forthright, try eating unsuspecting earthlings.
oh this is really funny! only street fighter fans will dig this.
and to prove that you aren't an idiot, try this - and don't shoot the puppy here. it gets hard after a while. hehe
if you prefer something more forthright, try eating unsuspecting earthlings.
oh this is really funny! only street fighter fans will dig this.
and to prove that you aren't an idiot, try this - and don't shoot the puppy here. it gets hard after a while. hehe
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
oh-my-bejesus wow
i went for my haircut today, at leong's. yes,leong's.
i didn't think very much of the haircut at first, but when i got home, hooo boy, did i fall in love with my reflection! thanks to my lady friends, of course.
and something wonderful happened today, too.
a certain susan's brought some of her skirts and dresses for me, and i was glad for that gesture. when i got home and checked them out, was i GLAD. susan's got TASTE, my goodness. i felt like a million bucks wearing those pieces, especially that tube dress. i'd hire her to do my shopping any day when i become a rich tai-tai. and that's all she'll ever do: shop for and with me.
..i suddenly felt like i had shed years, after i shed my older hairstyle (cleopatra after being run over by a camel) and changed into her pieces. i suddenly felt - high maintenance.
hell i felt good. ......i must get a rich husband. that or i must become rich, like, quickly.
(and THANK you, susan, for those gorgeous pieces!)
i didn't think very much of the haircut at first, but when i got home, hooo boy, did i fall in love with my reflection! thanks to my lady friends, of course.
and something wonderful happened today, too.
a certain susan's brought some of her skirts and dresses for me, and i was glad for that gesture. when i got home and checked them out, was i GLAD. susan's got TASTE, my goodness. i felt like a million bucks wearing those pieces, especially that tube dress. i'd hire her to do my shopping any day when i become a rich tai-tai. and that's all she'll ever do: shop for and with me.
..i suddenly felt like i had shed years, after i shed my older hairstyle (cleopatra after being run over by a camel) and changed into her pieces. i suddenly felt - high maintenance.
hell i felt good. ......i must get a rich husband. that or i must become rich, like, quickly.
(and THANK you, susan, for those gorgeous pieces!)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
two days
solitude-y. been to an event today and it wasn't much, just food and some minor celebs. it's good stuff, i would've stayed if i wasn't itching to go.
i wish, how i wish i can teleport to any part of the world!
i wish, how i wish i can teleport to any part of the world!
something good
i had the funny floaty feeling today, like something awesome's in the process of happening to me.
true enough, my darling love called - all the way from taiwan! - he'd just managed to find a public phone hahaha
how did he know i was just moping about missing him during lunch?? he's psychic, i tell you!
viennese-whatchacallit-chocolate
ironically enough, i was saying something about the scent of hot chocolate being better than the actual hot chocolate.
what a certain susan and jennifer had last night at the chocolate factory is making me eat my words now - oh holy wow. honest-to-heaven: holy wow.
what a certain susan and jennifer had last night at the chocolate factory is making me eat my words now - oh holy wow. honest-to-heaven: holy wow.
Friday, October 19, 2007
scent
sometimes, the scent of hot chocolate is very much more pleasurable than the actual drink itself.
mmmmmm hot chocolate.
mmmmmm hot chocolate.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
my england very good
if youngling means novice and fledgeling means young bird or an inexperienced person - what does darling mean?
what's "dar" mean, for that matter? }: x
what's "dar" mean, for that matter? }: x
some things nice, today
some things nice, today.
i almost fell ill but i didn't. i almost didn't turn up for oktober fest but i did. i almost didn't drink beer as i usually don't but i did. i almost lost my cool when a friend of a colleague took the better cab i had called for the two of us but didn't.
i flirted with people and know i am desired, today. i loved even though my beau wasn't immediately there to receive it, today. i made progress in my work, today. i smiled at my lady boss, today. she smiled back. :)
i got back home, showered in hot water despite having turned it on five seconds before i turned the tap on.
yep, there are definitely some things nice, today.
i almost fell ill but i didn't. i almost didn't turn up for oktober fest but i did. i almost didn't drink beer as i usually don't but i did. i almost lost my cool when a friend of a colleague took the better cab i had called for the two of us but didn't.
i flirted with people and know i am desired, today. i loved even though my beau wasn't immediately there to receive it, today. i made progress in my work, today. i smiled at my lady boss, today. she smiled back. :)
i got back home, showered in hot water despite having turned it on five seconds before i turned the tap on.
yep, there are definitely some things nice, today.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
today
for the first time in a long time today, i felt bad about myself.
i had gone to new asia bar where equinox restaurant is, and i had felt so ill at ease that i would sooner break the windows with a high chair and the leap through the damage that i had done just to get out of there. when i thought about it though, i hadn't really much of an idea why i had so wanted to leave.
it could be the fact that i had been scrutinised upon my entrance (mostly men who are having drinks at that overpriced location at six, for some reason) or it could be that the service was bad (no forks nor knives and the only cutlery when they were serving pizza we had were chopsticks - the kind made out of pine that you have to snap apart - plus having my beer spilt onto my toes when the waiter was pouring it for my colleagues. that was after one of the barstaff refused to serve our table. i don't understand why. no, really. i don't understand why) - oh, i don't know.
i'm thinking both, though i'm swaying more towards the former when i'm scrutinised again on the way out, especially on the way out, because for some funny reason one of the ladies have pointed me out, it seems, to a gentleman companion of hers and he in turn had stared at me as i walked out, with my usual orange handbag and jacket. it might be because i was hauling a humongous paper bag, i don't know.
maybe they hadn't seen big brown paperbags before and therefore felt the need to stare.
whatever it is, i was very thankful by the time i reached the elevator located outside the bar - i thought i wouldn't make it alive, what with those looks (i can't tell if they're benign or otherwise. truth be told, i can't care less but i just hate to be stared at, it makes me itch inside) that follow me wherever i go.
no, i'm not being sensitive. THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME. whether or not they remember me later on is another matter altogether - I HATE BEING STARED AT.
good god. why can't people just behave normally? know that i'm there and leave it at that? can't people be more civil??? geebus.
i had gone to new asia bar where equinox restaurant is, and i had felt so ill at ease that i would sooner break the windows with a high chair and the leap through the damage that i had done just to get out of there. when i thought about it though, i hadn't really much of an idea why i had so wanted to leave.
it could be the fact that i had been scrutinised upon my entrance (mostly men who are having drinks at that overpriced location at six, for some reason) or it could be that the service was bad (no forks nor knives and the only cutlery when they were serving pizza we had were chopsticks - the kind made out of pine that you have to snap apart - plus having my beer spilt onto my toes when the waiter was pouring it for my colleagues. that was after one of the barstaff refused to serve our table. i don't understand why. no, really. i don't understand why) - oh, i don't know.
i'm thinking both, though i'm swaying more towards the former when i'm scrutinised again on the way out, especially on the way out, because for some funny reason one of the ladies have pointed me out, it seems, to a gentleman companion of hers and he in turn had stared at me as i walked out, with my usual orange handbag and jacket. it might be because i was hauling a humongous paper bag, i don't know.
maybe they hadn't seen big brown paperbags before and therefore felt the need to stare.
whatever it is, i was very thankful by the time i reached the elevator located outside the bar - i thought i wouldn't make it alive, what with those looks (i can't tell if they're benign or otherwise. truth be told, i can't care less but i just hate to be stared at, it makes me itch inside) that follow me wherever i go.
no, i'm not being sensitive. THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME. whether or not they remember me later on is another matter altogether - I HATE BEING STARED AT.
good god. why can't people just behave normally? know that i'm there and leave it at that? can't people be more civil??? geebus.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
money
you know what?
i'm going to make money. i'm going to sell whatever it is that i can sell. not my body, of course - but what i can sell, i will sell. hell, i will even buy then sell.
you just watch me!
i'm going to make money. i'm going to sell whatever it is that i can sell. not my body, of course - but what i can sell, i will sell. hell, i will even buy then sell.
you just watch me!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
the meaning of a brother
i think, today, i found out the meaning of having a brother.
a dear cousin showed me. it made me cry.
seriously. he stood up for me.
a dear cousin showed me. it made me cry.
seriously. he stood up for me.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
-grin-
yes, today's been an eventful day.
again, cousin saved the day; i got a jar of marmalaaade and some bread too! :D yummm
it's amazing how the simplest things can bring the warmest of sentiments. yep, times like this i'm so very glad that i have family around. bery bery blessed leh!
...though to top it off, i came home to my mum's phone call... and she was telling me, amongst other things, that i should wear a carved penis......... ^^'
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
flu travels
i had the flu today, and hadn't turned up for work. felt so bloody tired that i fell into a deep deep sleep during the afternoon - it was with great effort that i had managed to drag myself out of bed and get myself to the doctor's.
well on the way there i saw, through the rusting zinc barricades, a half knocked-down (or half-built) house. it's like one of those houses you see in war-torn countries, only this one stands beside a perfectly lived-in and undamaged one in the "upper crust" part of the island. i noticed there were some polo shirts gently swaying in the late afternoon breeze from a makeshift clothesline on the second storey of the house. i gathered that might be the place where the inhabitants slept and rested at - after a long day's work or even in-between periods of hard labour, perhaps?
there was no wall behind the clothesline when there would usually be a wall - i could see the clear sky behind it. nobody was in sight, neither. did they really live where they worked at? it's quite nice to live where you build. though... it's kinda sad that whatever you live at and build will never be yours.
that glimpse and thought was enough to send me further into my contemplations, while i was in the bus hanging on for dear life with the bus driver's F1 antics.
..well, actually the bus was rather empty and i was seated - i just felt like saying that so you would think i am one of those moody-thoughtful types. :P
anyways. so i wondered: is it possible that some people will always live in such "war-torn" conditions no matter where they go? i mean, if i may make the assumption that those clothes belong to immigrants who come to "where the fish is plenty and the sky is always blue" to work - is it possible that those people had moved from hunger to having "having a roof over their heads, sort of"?
assuming that they ARE living in that particular spot, of course.
even if they weren't. where do they put up at? from a rambling country to a walled-up (ish) cubicle. which did they prefer, walled up completely or just walled-up (ish)? hoe long did they have to stay in those kind of uh, homes? does it matter to them anymore?
because, goodness knows that they are going through what our forefathers are going through - only difference being our island being "new land" back then and we had the chance to take it. right now... well, right now singapore's taken.
what gives?
and those were my thoughts until i suddenly realised that i was at my stop.
well on the way there i saw, through the rusting zinc barricades, a half knocked-down (or half-built) house. it's like one of those houses you see in war-torn countries, only this one stands beside a perfectly lived-in and undamaged one in the "upper crust" part of the island. i noticed there were some polo shirts gently swaying in the late afternoon breeze from a makeshift clothesline on the second storey of the house. i gathered that might be the place where the inhabitants slept and rested at - after a long day's work or even in-between periods of hard labour, perhaps?
there was no wall behind the clothesline when there would usually be a wall - i could see the clear sky behind it. nobody was in sight, neither. did they really live where they worked at? it's quite nice to live where you build. though... it's kinda sad that whatever you live at and build will never be yours.
that glimpse and thought was enough to send me further into my contemplations, while i was in the bus hanging on for dear life with the bus driver's F1 antics.
..well, actually the bus was rather empty and i was seated - i just felt like saying that so you would think i am one of those moody-thoughtful types. :P
anyways. so i wondered: is it possible that some people will always live in such "war-torn" conditions no matter where they go? i mean, if i may make the assumption that those clothes belong to immigrants who come to "where the fish is plenty and the sky is always blue" to work - is it possible that those people had moved from hunger to having "having a roof over their heads, sort of"?
assuming that they ARE living in that particular spot, of course.
even if they weren't. where do they put up at? from a rambling country to a walled-up (ish) cubicle. which did they prefer, walled up completely or just walled-up (ish)? hoe long did they have to stay in those kind of uh, homes? does it matter to them anymore?
because, goodness knows that they are going through what our forefathers are going through - only difference being our island being "new land" back then and we had the chance to take it. right now... well, right now singapore's taken.
what gives?
and those were my thoughts until i suddenly realised that i was at my stop.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
am happy. am very, very happy.
yes, i'm happy.
today is the boyfriend's birthday.
happy birthday, dear. :*
today is the boyfriend's birthday.
happy birthday, dear. :*
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
plant
relationships are like plants - you can't water it once in a month and expect it to grow healthy. relationships are rarely the cactus kind.
you can't give it fertiliser and water and tender loving care only to keep it from dying - if you were doing that then all you will be doing is trying to keep it alive. isn't it way better to be able to enjoy the plant by keeping it healthy by giving it consistent care? don't you, as a gardener, like to take care of the plant? or are you the kind that would rather have a nap or eat a sandwich instead? if it were the latter then gardening isn't for you.
then you're just setting yourself up for "parasites" that you will have to lose sleep over.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
worms inside your face
do you know what the black stuff that's been rubbed all over the chap's face?
...a live roach.
Monday, September 03, 2007
for a long time now
you know, i hadn't felt this good about myself in a long long while. i'm smiling, actually happy while i type this in the wee hours of the morning with only the nightlight, despite knowing i'll bloody pay for it in the morning.
well, if i'm going to change something about the way i did things, this (the blog design) will be a start.
well, if i'm going to change something about the way i did things, this (the blog design) will be a start.
peace
it's easy to see how things can get out of hand when you're in love.
you don't realise you've become another person so you can 'give the best' to the other chap, who you think will give you the same things you are giving him.
i can't believe i allowed myself to be unhappy for this long a time.
well, that's going to change. i'm going to be happy.
i promise to treat my charming self better.
you don't realise you've become another person so you can 'give the best' to the other chap, who you think will give you the same things you are giving him.
i can't believe i allowed myself to be unhappy for this long a time.
well, that's going to change. i'm going to be happy.
i promise to treat my charming self better.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
little miss's saturday evening with mister hedgehog
quick non-lyrical update: one lovely day, even better evening.
well. mostly better evening than lovely day. :)
thank you, mister hedgehog, very much. i've had a wonderful time, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did ;)
well. mostly better evening than lovely day. :)
thank you, mister hedgehog, very much. i've had a wonderful time, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did ;)
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
a touch of lonesome, please
i've had a touch of lonesome today, a tad like a touch of flu.
it's strange how lonesome-ness feels - i refuse to call it loneliness, "lonesome-ness" hints at a kind of a romantic geeky-cool while "loneliness" simply means that you're more sad than you really are.
...or maybe that's just my body telling me i'm dehydrated.
it's strange how lonesome-ness feels - i refuse to call it loneliness, "lonesome-ness" hints at a kind of a romantic geeky-cool while "loneliness" simply means that you're more sad than you really are.
...or maybe that's just my body telling me i'm dehydrated.
word of the day - www.dictionary.com
pukka \PUHK-uh\, adjective:
1. Authentic; genuine.
2. Good of its kind; first-class.
He talks like the quintessential pukka Englishman and quotes Chesterton and Kipling by the yard and yet he has chosen to live most of his adult life abroad.
-- Lynn Barber, "Bell book . . . and then what?", The Observer, August 27, 2000
If he does not have a house, the government gives him a pukka residence, not a . . . shack on the pavement but a solid construction.
-- Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, "cooked, ripe," from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, "he cooks."
1. Authentic; genuine.
2. Good of its kind; first-class.
He talks like the quintessential pukka Englishman and quotes Chesterton and Kipling by the yard and yet he has chosen to live most of his adult life abroad.
-- Lynn Barber, "Bell book . . . and then what?", The Observer, August 27, 2000
If he does not have a house, the government gives him a pukka residence, not a . . . shack on the pavement but a solid construction.
-- Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, "cooked, ripe," from Sanskrit pakva-, from pacati, "he cooks."
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
lions
i almost wept to see this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmc8gDzk2sg&mode=related&search=
and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAk8Z8Bcsz8&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmc8gDzk2sg&mode=related&search=
and this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAk8Z8Bcsz8&mode=related&search=
Saturday, August 25, 2007
footnote at the top
okay. in case you're wondering just who it is that can "put mentors in my path" and "for that CD" - i am not thanking a human being.
i am thanking my Lord, God. i equate Him with the whole of the universe, all that is good and fair (beautiful). i am, i am, i am loved.
i am thanking my Lord, God. i equate Him with the whole of the universe, all that is good and fair (beautiful). i am, i am, i am loved.
this is the day
i had gone to the trade fair at suntec today, and i know, i just know that this is the day that will change my life.
i learnt so much in just one day about the things i want to learn about it's not funny. the things i need to know about this trading thing - the teachers and mentors that have been put in my path, the avenues in which i may walk to get myself to the right place - by george am i thankful for this!
THANK YOU!
for making everything so easy. my sincere thanks!
and thanks for the tom jones CD. i knew i fell in love again when i heard tom jones sing.
i learnt so much in just one day about the things i want to learn about it's not funny. the things i need to know about this trading thing - the teachers and mentors that have been put in my path, the avenues in which i may walk to get myself to the right place - by george am i thankful for this!
THANK YOU!
for making everything so easy. my sincere thanks!
and thanks for the tom jones CD. i knew i fell in love again when i heard tom jones sing.
Monday, August 20, 2007
biscuits
yum.
thank you for the ritz biscuits dear, they're yummy. the pack i'd bought before this was too hard, it felt a little like biting a ritz brick instead of a ritz biscuit.
love it dipped in nutella!
i'm still curious about how the food pack tastes like...
thank you for the ritz biscuits dear, they're yummy. the pack i'd bought before this was too hard, it felt a little like biting a ritz brick instead of a ritz biscuit.
love it dipped in nutella!
i'm still curious about how the food pack tastes like...
on the bus
on the bus home today, my mind wandered to my schoolmates from back then. to one particular girl, actually. her name's jueqi, she's from one of "the better classes" in high school and she is my badminton team member.
despite the fact that i was more social than her, boisterous and better than her in badminton, she never did take a liking to me. i wondered why, for the longest time, until i finally asked her. the response was basically condescending, for lack of a better word.
"you seem like a ne'er-do-well," she had said in chinese. her english wasn't even good enough for a proper sentence, but i didn't take it to heart. i wanted to find out why she found the air about me foul - not to pinpoint that her grasp on the language wasn't as strong as it should be for someone from her high station in the school's academic hierarchy.
and that set me thinking. isn't it strange? just because she can count and i couldn't seemed to give her moral high ground. but then, maybe our math textbooks were thick enough to have her think that they are pedestals she can step on...?
whatever it is, i did not understand. neither did i bother. i just understood that she didn't like me and let that pass (i wasn't always that easy-going on others' opinions: i'd always thought that i was not well-liked in my school community because i thought i stuck out like a sore thumb. my three dear friends will know).
we spoke as much as we did before (which was to say not much) and when we graduated i nearly entirely forgot about her. though... i do wonder... if she's in some firm somewhere counting beans.
or in some university being taught how to count beans, if she hasn't graduated yet.
well. wherever she is now, i hope she is happy, as i am happy. true that my memory and impression of her was not entirely favourable, but i am sure there must be some side to her that i do not know about. there must be some side of her that is at least likeable that i hadn't the chance to recognise.
with that, i wish her the best, that she is in the place she is meant to be in and is enjoying herself there. well-wishes from a person you despise, huh. might be a first, probably won't be the last.
despite the fact that i was more social than her, boisterous and better than her in badminton, she never did take a liking to me. i wondered why, for the longest time, until i finally asked her. the response was basically condescending, for lack of a better word.
"you seem like a ne'er-do-well," she had said in chinese. her english wasn't even good enough for a proper sentence, but i didn't take it to heart. i wanted to find out why she found the air about me foul - not to pinpoint that her grasp on the language wasn't as strong as it should be for someone from her high station in the school's academic hierarchy.
and that set me thinking. isn't it strange? just because she can count and i couldn't seemed to give her moral high ground. but then, maybe our math textbooks were thick enough to have her think that they are pedestals she can step on...?
whatever it is, i did not understand. neither did i bother. i just understood that she didn't like me and let that pass (i wasn't always that easy-going on others' opinions: i'd always thought that i was not well-liked in my school community because i thought i stuck out like a sore thumb. my three dear friends will know).
we spoke as much as we did before (which was to say not much) and when we graduated i nearly entirely forgot about her. though... i do wonder... if she's in some firm somewhere counting beans.
or in some university being taught how to count beans, if she hasn't graduated yet.
well. wherever she is now, i hope she is happy, as i am happy. true that my memory and impression of her was not entirely favourable, but i am sure there must be some side to her that i do not know about. there must be some side of her that is at least likeable that i hadn't the chance to recognise.
with that, i wish her the best, that she is in the place she is meant to be in and is enjoying herself there. well-wishes from a person you despise, huh. might be a first, probably won't be the last.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
old letters
i have stumbled upon an old letter when i was searching for something just now...
i couldn't remember what it said, so i read it. what i read brought a pang to my heart - for it was a letter from an old flame, one of the dramatic ones i've had.
i wonder how he is now, if he's got a kid or three, now.
i couldn't remember what it said, so i read it. what i read brought a pang to my heart - for it was a letter from an old flame, one of the dramatic ones i've had.
i wonder how he is now, if he's got a kid or three, now.
Friday, August 17, 2007
OMG FREAKED
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip/swf/index.htm
http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip/swf/index.htm
theory
i've theorised today, that the amount of scent au naturel a man gives out is proportional to how macho a man is. i came up with it when my very macho golf editor sat down in an air-conditioned with the freelance web designer.
...the webdesigner smelt like musty sweat dried on woolen pullovers (which it probably is) and the editor smelled like an unwashed respiratory system. WAH PIANG EH don't be so manly can not??? i know the ancestors used scent to mark terri-blardee-tory lah but why surely they appreciate the idea that the ancestors probably survived because they didn't have to have meetings in air-conditioned little rooms back then?
they all would've died from the prehistoric equivalent of death-gas.
again, manliness. it does not have to be body odour, it can even be commercial scent.
but as i said, the more macho they are, the stinkier they are going to get.... or rather, the more likely they are to "forget" what scent does to a girl... which turns a girl off. BIG TIME.
MUST the men spoil their image like that? hawt and manly until within a meter's radius? that's when you know it's not love when you faint. why can't they understand that women LURVE scents? applied with finesse, it can cause a woman to fall instantly in love.
i know, cause i've fallen in instant love before, and that was just from a whiff of perfume. i had looked about for whom i am sure to be my true love then, but i couldn't locate the chap. well. what can i say? i lost my love at an overcrowded train station.
almost romantic. almost.
conversely, give a woman a man who smells of stale sweat. the kind that has gone from sour to sweet. yeah, you know the kind. well. i don't know about other girls but i for one will be the first to have difficulties breathing.
oh. wait. maybe the theory should be - the more macho a man is, the less developed his sense of smell. :D that must be it!
...the webdesigner smelt like musty sweat dried on woolen pullovers (which it probably is) and the editor smelled like an unwashed respiratory system. WAH PIANG EH don't be so manly can not??? i know the ancestors used scent to mark terri-blardee-tory lah but why surely they appreciate the idea that the ancestors probably survived because they didn't have to have meetings in air-conditioned little rooms back then?
they all would've died from the prehistoric equivalent of death-gas.
again, manliness. it does not have to be body odour, it can even be commercial scent.
but as i said, the more macho they are, the stinkier they are going to get.... or rather, the more likely they are to "forget" what scent does to a girl... which turns a girl off. BIG TIME.
MUST the men spoil their image like that? hawt and manly until within a meter's radius? that's when you know it's not love when you faint. why can't they understand that women LURVE scents? applied with finesse, it can cause a woman to fall instantly in love.
i know, cause i've fallen in instant love before, and that was just from a whiff of perfume. i had looked about for whom i am sure to be my true love then, but i couldn't locate the chap. well. what can i say? i lost my love at an overcrowded train station.
almost romantic. almost.
conversely, give a woman a man who smells of stale sweat. the kind that has gone from sour to sweet. yeah, you know the kind. well. i don't know about other girls but i for one will be the first to have difficulties breathing.
oh. wait. maybe the theory should be - the more macho a man is, the less developed his sense of smell. :D that must be it!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
magic
Isaac Aristawidya Rowe, born 15:15 on 14 August 2007. Weighs 3.8kg.
The boy is son of Richard Rowe and Agustiningsih "Nining" (I don't know her surname).
The arrival of the boy is magic. Pure magic.
Yes, two of my very good friends' bundle of joy have arrived.
..i am not officially an auntie. -sob
The boy is son of Richard Rowe and Agustiningsih "Nining" (I don't know her surname).
The arrival of the boy is magic. Pure magic.
Yes, two of my very good friends' bundle of joy have arrived.
..i am not officially an auntie. -sob
Thursday, August 09, 2007
singing in the rain in my new raincoat
thank YOU, for being the harbinger of pleasure and the bearer of joy.
Monday, August 06, 2007
love
my dear, can you don't be so aimless?
so lembek, so crestfallen? i love you, but this wasn't the person i fell in love with. to have and to hold, through thick and thin, that is the ideal, true, but do be strong! do not let this break you.
i reiterate: do not - NOT - let this break you!
so lembek, so crestfallen? i love you, but this wasn't the person i fell in love with. to have and to hold, through thick and thin, that is the ideal, true, but do be strong! do not let this break you.
i reiterate: do not - NOT - let this break you!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
from the unbound archives
..which is to say they've been scrawled onto slips of paper and forgotten somewhere.
somebody really ought to think
why the brick's so quick to sink
somewhere somehow in my mind
i see non-bricks behaving in kind
---
to fly and fall than to deny and stall.
---
brandishing poetry like a knife ground sharp
i inked the words angled smart
like a scalpel across bleached flesh
language begun with a dissonant slash
---
cocooned in self-pity some moths i see
i marvelled at their shell's intricacy
how they protect themselves in their prison
how a cage is also their halcyon
a transitional time within their weavings
are they in pain or are they sleeping
studied patience or unwilling imprisonment
i cannot guess so i watch in silence
somebody really ought to think
why the brick's so quick to sink
somewhere somehow in my mind
i see non-bricks behaving in kind
---
to fly and fall than to deny and stall.
---
brandishing poetry like a knife ground sharp
i inked the words angled smart
like a scalpel across bleached flesh
language begun with a dissonant slash
---
cocooned in self-pity some moths i see
i marvelled at their shell's intricacy
how they protect themselves in their prison
how a cage is also their halcyon
a transitional time within their weavings
are they in pain or are they sleeping
studied patience or unwilling imprisonment
i cannot guess so i watch in silence
alternative reasoning
i'd been cleaning my room just this evening, after i'd seen the boy off, and found some pieces of paper with my past scrawlings on it. one of them go like this.
"Alternative Reasoning"
"I work not really for a livelihood. I mean, sure, I do need to eat, but I only need so much to survive and get about - I don't NEED to work.
"I work so I have your respect."
..obviously, i didn't know what the heck i was talking about.
---
and another one.
"I hate my job" - that is the age-old complaint, followed by numerous reasons as to why he/she hates the job that more often than not, makes up for more than 90% of the conversation.
"Practically speaking, there are pros and cons, ups and downs to any job. I mean, seriously. It's just like your baby-poo: most of the time she's an angel but sometimes you wish you hadn't had that many beers the evening you met her. The same with jobs.
"Assuming you understand and accept that fact of life and are still unhappy about your job for 'various reasons' - here is the first and most important question: is it the job (i.e. gardening for gardeners, teaching for teachers), the paycheck, the people (colleagues, superiors, subordinates, suppliers et cetera) or 'something else'? If it is the job - then I say congratulations, you have in essence found the root of your pains. Now to decide what you can do to make a job switch smoother.
"If you hate the paycheck but can't survive without it then I say you, my friend, need a supplementing job. Then jump ship.
"As I had read somewhere that one should 'make money, not save money,' - I strongly suggest that you find and fuel another source of livelihood on top of theone that you have righ tnow. It can be something simple, like typing, for example. The supplementing job should not take too much attention away from the 'day job' - the one that pays you the bulk of your salary. That's being smart about things. Not losing the big picture.
"If it's the people - well, whether you stay or you go will have to depend on if your paycheck's big enough to make you stay. Failing which, will the nature of your job encourage you to stay? If there's a 'yes' AND a 'no' then you know you have something to think about. If you have a very firm answer... then you know what you have to do next."
...obviously, i thought i know very much. i still do, sometimes. heh.
if i sound this bossy i think i would do well if i were to write a book. ya think?
"Alternative Reasoning"
"I work not really for a livelihood. I mean, sure, I do need to eat, but I only need so much to survive and get about - I don't NEED to work.
"I work so I have your respect."
..obviously, i didn't know what the heck i was talking about.
---
and another one.
"I hate my job" - that is the age-old complaint, followed by numerous reasons as to why he/she hates the job that more often than not, makes up for more than 90% of the conversation.
"Practically speaking, there are pros and cons, ups and downs to any job. I mean, seriously. It's just like your baby-poo: most of the time she's an angel but sometimes you wish you hadn't had that many beers the evening you met her. The same with jobs.
"Assuming you understand and accept that fact of life and are still unhappy about your job for 'various reasons' - here is the first and most important question: is it the job (i.e. gardening for gardeners, teaching for teachers), the paycheck, the people (colleagues, superiors, subordinates, suppliers et cetera) or 'something else'? If it is the job - then I say congratulations, you have in essence found the root of your pains. Now to decide what you can do to make a job switch smoother.
"If you hate the paycheck but can't survive without it then I say you, my friend, need a supplementing job. Then jump ship.
"As I had read somewhere that one should 'make money, not save money,' - I strongly suggest that you find and fuel another source of livelihood on top of theone that you have righ tnow. It can be something simple, like typing, for example. The supplementing job should not take too much attention away from the 'day job' - the one that pays you the bulk of your salary. That's being smart about things. Not losing the big picture.
"If it's the people - well, whether you stay or you go will have to depend on if your paycheck's big enough to make you stay. Failing which, will the nature of your job encourage you to stay? If there's a 'yes' AND a 'no' then you know you have something to think about. If you have a very firm answer... then you know what you have to do next."
...obviously, i thought i know very much. i still do, sometimes. heh.
if i sound this bossy i think i would do well if i were to write a book. ya think?
eureka
it's a shame; it's going to be a shame.
at this rate he's going, we're not going to make it. he's not ambitious enough, and he's still a boy. heck, we aim to "game together" and he seems to be going it alone all the time in-game, even when he's playing right here with me.
i think that says something. an inherent loner, perhaps? won't that be tough then, to dance a two-person tune with a one-man-going-it man?
so... you see, it's not really about "spending time with me', it's about "getting time to play."
...what a boy.
at this rate he's going, we're not going to make it. he's not ambitious enough, and he's still a boy. heck, we aim to "game together" and he seems to be going it alone all the time in-game, even when he's playing right here with me.
i think that says something. an inherent loner, perhaps? won't that be tough then, to dance a two-person tune with a one-man-going-it man?
so... you see, it's not really about "spending time with me', it's about "getting time to play."
...what a boy.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
the trash that i watch online...
(can't remember)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ezi10dC-0I&mode=related&search=
about jesus (family guy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBZQfAYfH7s
how to spot a gay (family guy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTtVqh4vLgk&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ezi10dC-0I&mode=related&search=
about jesus (family guy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBZQfAYfH7s
how to spot a gay (family guy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTtVqh4vLgk&mode=related&search=
WAHAHHAHAHAHA
spiders on drugs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
kitties on tape
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRklgMjr3E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
kitties on tape
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRklgMjr3E
nope, it ain't about just you no more
and that's just it. it's not just about you no more, yeah?
cause it's a two-person deal.
i figure in this, too. hey, who knew?
cause it's a two-person deal.
i figure in this, too. hey, who knew?
Friday, August 03, 2007
relationships vs reality
reality vs relationships.
realistically, it's best to look into the future. chances are... we're not going to make it.
make no mistake, i want to make it. but realistically speaking, it might be wiser for me to look for an alternative.
..then we see what gives.
realistically, it's best to look into the future. chances are... we're not going to make it.
make no mistake, i want to make it. but realistically speaking, it might be wiser for me to look for an alternative.
..then we see what gives.
Monday, July 30, 2007
me a plumpy munch junkie
i'm eating so much these days i get scared. and i'm talking about the kind of yummy junk, like blue berry cheese tarts. mmmmmmm.
lovely.
now that i've moved to the north, it's all good cheap food. fruits are everywhere, as are bread shops and yummy noodles. oh by the way, i saw this beautiful dress at raffles city today. it's rather unfortunate that the price is also pretty lovely. $185. ow. but ye gods, not buying it is truly like cutting a part of myself off. it is not often that i find a dress that suits me... -sob
lovely.
now that i've moved to the north, it's all good cheap food. fruits are everywhere, as are bread shops and yummy noodles. oh by the way, i saw this beautiful dress at raffles city today. it's rather unfortunate that the price is also pretty lovely. $185. ow. but ye gods, not buying it is truly like cutting a part of myself off. it is not often that i find a dress that suits me... -sob
Friday, July 27, 2007
aye, aye, i am
the things people do and the things people say.
it's something that i did, nothing that i said.
it's something that i did, nothing that i said.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
about a book osho wrote
it's titled 'intimacy'. while it's a whole load of crap, some of the things he said struck a chord (yes, i'm a firm believer of the principle that goes "reading a book but reading does not necessarily mean agreeing with it").
and i found peace within those pages that i do agree with. it's a good sign, methinks, that i'm no longer "searching for something that i do not know about". in fact, the more i try to define it, the less i need to be in action to search for that elusive "something". because i already have that "something". what more can i ask for?
i'm at peace.
er, babes. on another note altogether - if you're free anytime this week to meet me up, please do so? want to pass you the vouchers!
and i found peace within those pages that i do agree with. it's a good sign, methinks, that i'm no longer "searching for something that i do not know about". in fact, the more i try to define it, the less i need to be in action to search for that elusive "something". because i already have that "something". what more can i ask for?
i'm at peace.
er, babes. on another note altogether - if you're free anytime this week to meet me up, please do so? want to pass you the vouchers!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
sick - again!
>.<
thankfully i have a new phone to comfort me. that's how i realise i'm more mentally stimulated than anything - i hardly play with the phone and i spent no more than three hours testing it out, spread over two days.
it's just good to know i now have my own mobile.
thankfully i have a new phone to comfort me. that's how i realise i'm more mentally stimulated than anything - i hardly play with the phone and i spent no more than three hours testing it out, spread over two days.
it's just good to know i now have my own mobile.
Monday, July 16, 2007
conversation
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:01)
like dat also can can
Me says: (AM 12:02)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:02)
yah
Me says: (AM 12:02)
well..
Me says: (AM 12:02)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:02)
you prolly would know lah
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:02)
know wat?
Me says: (AM 12:02)
it gets tiring after a while and all you want to do is to do it properly
Me says: (AM 12:03)
and hope for the best.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:03)
hope?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:04)
like wat?
Me says: (AM 12:04)
hope that you get a partner suitable for you, that you'll be happy, that you won't have to deal with the horror stories that've happened to other people..
Me says: (AM 12:04)
that kind lah
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
nv hope in a relationship
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
b sure of wat u want
Me says: (AM 12:05)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:05)
my poor boy.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
u been thru a few relationship n u shld noe by now wat u looking for
Me says: (AM 12:05)
yah i do.
Me says: (AM 12:05)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
u doesn't seem to noe'
Me says: (AM 12:06)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:06)
maybe
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:06)
dats y u say 'hope'
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:06)
if u noe dat this guy will b with u for life, u will b v sure with ur ans
Me says: (AM 12:07)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:07)
i've "known" many guys who "will be with me for life"
Me says: (AM 12:07)
so..
Me says: (AM 12:07)
i daren't say i "know" these days
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:08)
u noe wat i mean... for life meaning u ll marry him
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i know.
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i know.
Me says: (AM 12:08)
haha
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i definitely know what you mean
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:08)
dun waste time if u think u wana marry him but dunno if u thinks alike
Me says: (AM 12:09)
strangely enough
Me says: (AM 12:09)
they all do
Me says: (AM 12:09)
want to marry me i mean
Me says: (AM 12:09)
and i want to marry them, when i was with them. i don't have "plan b" when i'm with them
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:09)
sayig is 1 thing u noe, doing it is another
Me says: (AM 12:09)
yah.
Me says: (AM 12:10)
you're right
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
they say but nv do
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
they nv show any action to prove they wana marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
o tell me wat has ur current guy did to let u feel dat he wana marry u?
Me says: (AM 12:10)
showed me to his mum
Me says: (AM 12:11)
brought me to see his dad in malaysia
Me says: (AM 12:11)
do all he can to make me happy
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:11)
dats normal ma
Me says: (AM 12:11)
okay
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:11)
did he sit down n plan with u the future
Me says: (AM 12:11)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:11)
he's too young for that.
Me says: (AM 12:12)
theprevious one did
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:13)
like when the 2 of u wana get married, how to achieved dat target, like saving money etc, plans to get house...
Me says: (AM 12:13)
he's 24, in the army now
Me says: (AM 12:13)
it's too far down the road for him
Me says: (AM 12:13)
if he were out of the army i would say yes, true. we should do that
Me says: (AM 12:13)
but... well.
Me says: (AM 12:13)
donno lah. ^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
24 is not young
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
look at my nephew
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
21 n married
Me says: (AM 12:14)
lol
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
n he got his plan laid out
Me says: (AM 12:14)
wow
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
good thinking on his part
Me says: (AM 12:14)
that's great!
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
dats wat a guy shld b doing
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
not wait n wait
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
since he is in the army, got all the time to plan
Me says: (AM 12:15)
well.
Me says: (AM 12:15)
er. no..
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
sit down n plan with him
Me says: (AM 12:15)
just got in
Me says: (AM 12:15)
no time.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
like wat he wana do when he leave the force
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:16)
how long he nid to work n save in order to marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:16)
etc...
Me says: (AM 12:16)
true
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:17)
so u c the whole pic now?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:17)
n wat u gona do nxt?
Me says: (AM 12:18)
i
Me says: (AM 12:18)
am going to cook myself some noodles! :D
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
go think bout it
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
no nid to tell me
Me says: (AM 12:19)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
but b frank to urself
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
u can cheat anyone but not urself
Me says: (AM 12:19)
i don't think he's thought about it.
Me says: (AM 12:19)
"it's too far", will be his answer
Me says: (AM 12:20)
i.. don't want to settle down yet, i don't think.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
den u cant say he wana marry u cuz he dun wana commit himself with those kind of ans
Me says: (AM 12:21)
hm.
Me says: (AM 12:21)
yah.
Me says: (AM 12:21)
maybe.
-snip-
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
aiya dun waste time la
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
come i marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
you sit down with me and you plan with me lah! lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
then i believe
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
wah~~
Me says: (AM 12:23)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:23)
you just say one!
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
learn fast hor
Me says: (AM 12:23)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
the go sit down with him la
Me says: (AM 12:23)
must mah, otherwise your meimei is doing to be real slow
Me says: (AM 12:23)
haha
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
yalah dats y i say u go sit down with him n tlk
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
if he dun wan den i marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:25)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:25)
okay i can't see all your emoticons
Me says: (AM 12:25)
using mac
Me says: (AM 12:25)
mac can't see all emoticons, only some.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:26)
but it juz come out as i type ma
Me says: (AM 12:28)
orh
Me says: (AM 12:28)
ok
Me says: (AM 12:28)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:28)
haha
Me says: (AM 12:28)
you'll be happy with me as a wife?
Me says: (AM 12:28)
you won't find it strange?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:29)
hmmm... strange as in wat?
Me says: (AM 12:29)
that we've known each other for so long and we've seen each other through relationships?
Me says: (AM 12:30)
eh brb. i go cook noodles
-end-
like dat also can can
Me says: (AM 12:02)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:02)
yah
Me says: (AM 12:02)
well..
Me says: (AM 12:02)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:02)
you prolly would know lah
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:02)
know wat?
Me says: (AM 12:02)
it gets tiring after a while and all you want to do is to do it properly
Me says: (AM 12:03)
and hope for the best.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:03)
hope?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:04)
like wat?
Me says: (AM 12:04)
hope that you get a partner suitable for you, that you'll be happy, that you won't have to deal with the horror stories that've happened to other people..
Me says: (AM 12:04)
that kind lah
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
nv hope in a relationship
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
b sure of wat u want
Me says: (AM 12:05)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:05)
my poor boy.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
u been thru a few relationship n u shld noe by now wat u looking for
Me says: (AM 12:05)
yah i do.
Me says: (AM 12:05)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:05)
u doesn't seem to noe'
Me says: (AM 12:06)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:06)
maybe
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:06)
dats y u say 'hope'
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:06)
if u noe dat this guy will b with u for life, u will b v sure with ur ans
Me says: (AM 12:07)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:07)
i've "known" many guys who "will be with me for life"
Me says: (AM 12:07)
so..
Me says: (AM 12:07)
i daren't say i "know" these days
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:08)
u noe wat i mean... for life meaning u ll marry him
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i know.
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i know.
Me says: (AM 12:08)
haha
Me says: (AM 12:08)
i definitely know what you mean
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:08)
dun waste time if u think u wana marry him but dunno if u thinks alike
Me says: (AM 12:09)
strangely enough
Me says: (AM 12:09)
they all do
Me says: (AM 12:09)
want to marry me i mean
Me says: (AM 12:09)
and i want to marry them, when i was with them. i don't have "plan b" when i'm with them
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:09)
sayig is 1 thing u noe, doing it is another
Me says: (AM 12:09)
yah.
Me says: (AM 12:10)
you're right
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
they say but nv do
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
they nv show any action to prove they wana marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:10)
o tell me wat has ur current guy did to let u feel dat he wana marry u?
Me says: (AM 12:10)
showed me to his mum
Me says: (AM 12:11)
brought me to see his dad in malaysia
Me says: (AM 12:11)
do all he can to make me happy
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:11)
dats normal ma
Me says: (AM 12:11)
okay
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:11)
did he sit down n plan with u the future
Me says: (AM 12:11)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:11)
he's too young for that.
Me says: (AM 12:12)
theprevious one did
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:13)
like when the 2 of u wana get married, how to achieved dat target, like saving money etc, plans to get house...
Me says: (AM 12:13)
he's 24, in the army now
Me says: (AM 12:13)
it's too far down the road for him
Me says: (AM 12:13)
if he were out of the army i would say yes, true. we should do that
Me says: (AM 12:13)
but... well.
Me says: (AM 12:13)
donno lah. ^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
24 is not young
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
look at my nephew
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
21 n married
Me says: (AM 12:14)
lol
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
n he got his plan laid out
Me says: (AM 12:14)
wow
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:14)
good thinking on his part
Me says: (AM 12:14)
that's great!
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
dats wat a guy shld b doing
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
not wait n wait
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
since he is in the army, got all the time to plan
Me says: (AM 12:15)
well.
Me says: (AM 12:15)
er. no..
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
sit down n plan with him
Me says: (AM 12:15)
just got in
Me says: (AM 12:15)
no time.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:15)
like wat he wana do when he leave the force
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:16)
how long he nid to work n save in order to marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:16)
etc...
Me says: (AM 12:16)
true
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:17)
so u c the whole pic now?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:17)
n wat u gona do nxt?
Me says: (AM 12:18)
i
Me says: (AM 12:18)
am going to cook myself some noodles! :D
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
go think bout it
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
no nid to tell me
Me says: (AM 12:19)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
but b frank to urself
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:19)
u can cheat anyone but not urself
Me says: (AM 12:19)
i don't think he's thought about it.
Me says: (AM 12:19)
"it's too far", will be his answer
Me says: (AM 12:20)
i.. don't want to settle down yet, i don't think.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
den u cant say he wana marry u cuz he dun wana commit himself with those kind of ans
Me says: (AM 12:21)
hm.
Me says: (AM 12:21)
yah.
Me says: (AM 12:21)
maybe.
-snip-
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
aiya dun waste time la
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
come i marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:21)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
you sit down with me and you plan with me lah! lol
Me says: (AM 12:22)
then i believe
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
wah~~
Me says: (AM 12:23)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:23)
you just say one!
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
learn fast hor
Me says: (AM 12:23)
^^
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:23)
the go sit down with him la
Me says: (AM 12:23)
must mah, otherwise your meimei is doing to be real slow
Me says: (AM 12:23)
haha
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
yalah dats y i say u go sit down with him n tlk
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
if he dun wan den i marry u
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:24)
lol
Me says: (AM 12:25)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:25)
okay i can't see all your emoticons
Me says: (AM 12:25)
using mac
Me says: (AM 12:25)
mac can't see all emoticons, only some.
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:26)
but it juz come out as i type ma
Me says: (AM 12:28)
orh
Me says: (AM 12:28)
ok
Me says: (AM 12:28)
^^
Me says: (AM 12:28)
haha
Me says: (AM 12:28)
you'll be happy with me as a wife?
Me says: (AM 12:28)
you won't find it strange?
Long-time Friend says: (AM 12:29)
hmmm... strange as in wat?
Me says: (AM 12:29)
that we've known each other for so long and we've seen each other through relationships?
Me says: (AM 12:30)
eh brb. i go cook noodles
-end-
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
bitch vs vain men
it tickles me no end to see how vain some men can get.
case in point is a certain fei that i know. he's not bad looking, but he's not good looking neither - you know the kind, average-ish looks with better skin than most? well, he's like that.
i offered two people the chance to appear in a popular women's magazine as an eligible bachelor and one of the two, as expected, turned it down, citing media-shyness. the other, however, snapped it up completely - hook, sinker and all.
exact words were: "i wouldn't mind". [edit: upon the latest check of the sms in reply, it was "i definitely wouldn't mind"]
hello? i knew for a fact that he's egoistical already, but wow, the vanity! the vanity!
it's a-may-zing.
the last experiment was on my own boy. i foisted it off him, but i didn't think that he would say no - put up a half-assed effort to "struggle" against the unreasonable girlfriend's decision maybe, but there won't be an outright "no". which i expected but it's disappointing anyhoos..
at least fei is outright vain and doesn't try to hide it and it's his choice to make. disappointing.
case in point is a certain fei that i know. he's not bad looking, but he's not good looking neither - you know the kind, average-ish looks with better skin than most? well, he's like that.
i offered two people the chance to appear in a popular women's magazine as an eligible bachelor and one of the two, as expected, turned it down, citing media-shyness. the other, however, snapped it up completely - hook, sinker and all.
exact words were: "i wouldn't mind". [edit: upon the latest check of the sms in reply, it was "i definitely wouldn't mind"]
hello? i knew for a fact that he's egoistical already, but wow, the vanity! the vanity!
it's a-may-zing.
the last experiment was on my own boy. i foisted it off him, but i didn't think that he would say no - put up a half-assed effort to "struggle" against the unreasonable girlfriend's decision maybe, but there won't be an outright "no". which i expected but it's disappointing anyhoos..
at least fei is outright vain and doesn't try to hide it and it's his choice to make. disappointing.
ahem, ahem!
just in case you guys think that i'm desperate to get married - i'm not.
it's like wanting a car. like you've always wanted that cute volkswagon, you can't wait to finally being able to afford it, to ride in it, to finally have it - but you don't need it. it won't kill you to not have it, but you want it.
and it's the same. i've always wanted to get married; but it's not something i want to hop into straight after i get to know a guy, probably not even for a few years.
BUT. it is important to understand that any man who does not want me enough to want to marry me at a moment's notice is not worth my affections. sad to say, something broke in me last night, i have a funny feeling it may stay broken for a looong time.
anyhoos. i want to be desired. being desired and wanting to get married HERE AND NOW are completely two different things. just in case you didn't get it: i want to be desired, but i do not necessarily want to get married, like, now.
capisce?
it's like wanting a car. like you've always wanted that cute volkswagon, you can't wait to finally being able to afford it, to ride in it, to finally have it - but you don't need it. it won't kill you to not have it, but you want it.
and it's the same. i've always wanted to get married; but it's not something i want to hop into straight after i get to know a guy, probably not even for a few years.
BUT. it is important to understand that any man who does not want me enough to want to marry me at a moment's notice is not worth my affections. sad to say, something broke in me last night, i have a funny feeling it may stay broken for a looong time.
anyhoos. i want to be desired. being desired and wanting to get married HERE AND NOW are completely two different things. just in case you didn't get it: i want to be desired, but i do not necessarily want to get married, like, now.
capisce?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
now, moving right along...
okay. in this case...
i'm going to go ahead and make my plans and am going to follow them through. i will migrate. to vancouver.
i am going to sit by the fireplace and drink a scotch, forget about making smores altogether, because that was my dream. no i think scotch and/or wine is more practical. more pleasant, too.
vancouver. two years.
yes, two years. 12th july 2009. from then till december 2009 i will be preparing myself to go over, after the formalities have been done.
i start my new life in a new country, from zero: 2010.
two-oh-one-oh. from zero. : )
i'm going to go ahead and make my plans and am going to follow them through. i will migrate. to vancouver.
i am going to sit by the fireplace and drink a scotch, forget about making smores altogether, because that was my dream. no i think scotch and/or wine is more practical. more pleasant, too.
vancouver. two years.
yes, two years. 12th july 2009. from then till december 2009 i will be preparing myself to go over, after the formalities have been done.
i start my new life in a new country, from zero: 2010.
two-oh-one-oh. from zero. : )
ooh. license to kill!
my boy'd just told me "ooookay it's too far" when i was joking first-borns (rumpelstiltskin-esque kinda discussion) - and i realised that he doesn't want to marry me.
it brought a slight pang and i moped for a while (i'd be lying if i said five - i moped for an entire ten seconds. can you beat that? wow: ten!) - then i immediately knew that i have the license to kill! i can be not as bothered to keep "us" intact! :D
now it makes purrrfect sense as to why he's behaving the way he's been behaving. now i understand.
it's a disappointment, true, but well. i've no shortage.
it brought a slight pang and i moped for a while (i'd be lying if i said five - i moped for an entire ten seconds. can you beat that? wow: ten!) - then i immediately knew that i have the license to kill! i can be not as bothered to keep "us" intact! :D
now it makes purrrfect sense as to why he's behaving the way he's been behaving. now i understand.
it's a disappointment, true, but well. i've no shortage.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
death by blueberry muffun
i had a blueberry muffin today. it was delicious.
it was also two days old.
ohhhh... i don't feel so good.....
it was also two days old.
ohhhh... i don't feel so good.....
the bus drivers
on this occasion, i remembered the evening when i made up my mind to write about them bus drivers. it was on the night when i was still working with my previous employer... it was very late at night, and he was sending me home, along with his wife in the same car.
i wondered, amidst tears (had a humongous hiccup at work and since the boss and his lady can never be at fault, i'm the one to get screwed over. but that's over now, and i've been happier since i left that place), how the bus drivers felt on a night like this, are they exhausted, like i am exhausted? are the emotionally vacant like i was then, because they probably don't have a life outside of their driving routines?
the buses seem to hurtle at great speeds for a vehicle of that size; and i wondered, are they hurtling because they need to get their passengers back to their homes so they can get ready for bed, or are they hurtling for their own sakes, because they needed something to make them feel alive, because they wanted to feel the euphoria of driving in the night, of being a 'captain of the ship', because they had to? and what do they do, after this? who takes them home, then?
i know, that after i had cried i could've gone. sleep it off, wake up and get to work again, leave it all behind, a dream away.
what about these people, these drivers? do they get reprieve at all? what is their social life like, outside of their bus routines? do they have a social life outside of their bus routines? who do they work for? what do they do, exactly, other than open doors for us?
these are the people we see every day, but do not see, do you get what i mean?
and what about us, the execs. do they see us? and do other people see us, when we're walking to work, to lunch, from lunch, back home? or are we merely part of the population landscape? who notices us anymore? we're just part of the background, no? we're increasingly thinking that way and behaving that way.
is that why quite a few of us are "oblivious", so to speak, and "complacent"? because the world consists only of themselves. and when shit happens "they'll bring this up to the authorities, see if they don't!"
have we become a shallow, petty bunch?
ya think?
i wondered, amidst tears (had a humongous hiccup at work and since the boss and his lady can never be at fault, i'm the one to get screwed over. but that's over now, and i've been happier since i left that place), how the bus drivers felt on a night like this, are they exhausted, like i am exhausted? are the emotionally vacant like i was then, because they probably don't have a life outside of their driving routines?
the buses seem to hurtle at great speeds for a vehicle of that size; and i wondered, are they hurtling because they need to get their passengers back to their homes so they can get ready for bed, or are they hurtling for their own sakes, because they needed something to make them feel alive, because they wanted to feel the euphoria of driving in the night, of being a 'captain of the ship', because they had to? and what do they do, after this? who takes them home, then?
i know, that after i had cried i could've gone. sleep it off, wake up and get to work again, leave it all behind, a dream away.
what about these people, these drivers? do they get reprieve at all? what is their social life like, outside of their bus routines? do they have a social life outside of their bus routines? who do they work for? what do they do, exactly, other than open doors for us?
these are the people we see every day, but do not see, do you get what i mean?
and what about us, the execs. do they see us? and do other people see us, when we're walking to work, to lunch, from lunch, back home? or are we merely part of the population landscape? who notices us anymore? we're just part of the background, no? we're increasingly thinking that way and behaving that way.
is that why quite a few of us are "oblivious", so to speak, and "complacent"? because the world consists only of themselves. and when shit happens "they'll bring this up to the authorities, see if they don't!"
have we become a shallow, petty bunch?
ya think?
Monday, July 09, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
ithinki'mretarded
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Asperger's_syndrome?OpenDocument
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Autistic_savant?open
...okay so that didn't sounds that good. but i DO have difficulties dealing with people and i DO have some form of genius... just that you can't quite see it.........
<: x
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Autistic_savant?open
...okay so that didn't sounds that good. but i DO have difficulties dealing with people and i DO have some form of genius... just that you can't quite see it.........
<: x
Thursday, July 05, 2007
career toast to the girls!
on another more cheerful thing altogether, i love my job!
absolutely lovely! i'm meeting people, deadlines are over, i'm writing and i'm having a good time. fabulous.
here's one to the girls: for career, for laughter on the job and for luck!
absolutely lovely! i'm meeting people, deadlines are over, i'm writing and i'm having a good time. fabulous.
here's one to the girls: for career, for laughter on the job and for luck!
announcements
don't like them. never mind if i know the person who's been invited or not, but do not make last-minute announcements, then asking me if i'm okay with that.
that's not giving me a choice - repeat: NOT giving me a choice. what do you expect me to say, "oh, no, i don't think i'll be going"? i mean, don't make decisions then TELL me about it when we're the only TWO people going at the point of decision.
if it's a group, fine. i can still pull out graciously if i'm not comfortable because it's a group. but no. it's just two of us. if go i feel like i'm not getting what i've originally said yes to; if i don't go the other party will feel strange or worse - misunderstand that - oh i'm aiming for a date with you and was miffed because you invited someone else i didn't know about - and i don't want that.
does it therefore look like i have a choice in the matter? your manner of thought is quite strange, don't you think?
lesson learnt: do NOT do things like that to your friends. i will continue to NOT do this to my friends.
that's not giving me a choice - repeat: NOT giving me a choice. what do you expect me to say, "oh, no, i don't think i'll be going"? i mean, don't make decisions then TELL me about it when we're the only TWO people going at the point of decision.
if it's a group, fine. i can still pull out graciously if i'm not comfortable because it's a group. but no. it's just two of us. if go i feel like i'm not getting what i've originally said yes to; if i don't go the other party will feel strange or worse - misunderstand that - oh i'm aiming for a date with you and was miffed because you invited someone else i didn't know about - and i don't want that.
does it therefore look like i have a choice in the matter? your manner of thought is quite strange, don't you think?
lesson learnt: do NOT do things like that to your friends. i will continue to NOT do this to my friends.
Monday, July 02, 2007
when it gets too much
don't let the bastards grind you down! (for jasmi)
Each day I wake up in this gray old town
Each day the system tries to bring me down
With a minimum wage in the factory
I'm slaving in the Twentieth Century
And the whole damn world
Is gangin up to bring me to my knees
And now the neighbors make it loud and clear
That they want no ravers moving in around here
I wont play ball, wont do what i'm told
I'd rather be a square peg in a round hole
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
I'm living in a world where I don't really fit
Every day walking through the same old shit
I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared
I'm not impressed and I'm not scared
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Me say the war must stop
No one canna win
Ah we livin in da ghetto
On da streets of dis town
Ah da whole world
I said dis a one
...you a man
You stand up firm gotta stand up strong
Listen ghetto youth dis how we keep in da land
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Each day I wake up in this gray old town
Each day the system tries to bring me down
With a minimum wage in the factory
I'm slaving in the Twentieth Century
And the whole damn world
Is gangin up to bring me to my knees
And now the neighbors make it loud and clear
That they want no ravers moving in around here
I wont play ball, wont do what i'm told
I'd rather be a square peg in a round hole
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
I'm living in a world where I don't really fit
Every day walking through the same old shit
I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared
I'm not impressed and I'm not scared
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Me say the war must stop
No one canna win
Ah we livin in da ghetto
On da streets of dis town
Ah da whole world
I said dis a one
...you a man
You stand up firm gotta stand up strong
Listen ghetto youth dis how we keep in da land
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Don't let them grind you down!
pussaaaayyy!!
(please don't mind the bad spelling)
Once upon a time in the land of fever, there lived a scarlet pussy
This kitty cat of fine descent, was cherished by her mother
Who wouldnt let another, pet her, unless he was qualified
Every 1st of the month this pretty feline got the hots
And thats when the neighborhood (d-d-dogs)
Theyd line up around the block
Meow
When my little scarlet feline roars
The locals come around (come around)
When they see the scarlet light
They know its time to come chase her down (chase her down)
Lo and behold the fantastical way
In which their bodies groove
My scarlet pussys furry magic alters any mood
Scarlet pussy (its cool)
Scarlet pussy
Pussycat, pussycat
Wherefore art thou, puppy?
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Every dog would try his lines
To get pussys attention ([...])
All they want is so exposed
In ways too gross to mention (eew!)
Green virgin teenager
A filthy rich yuppie
Pussycat pussycat
Wherefore art thou puppy?
Scarlet pussy
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over your sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Meow
Now whats going on?
Oh, no, man, look out!
Somebody come get this meow-meow of my leg!
Meow!
Scarlet pussy
Pussycat pussycat
Wherefore art thou, puppy?
Meow
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
She can make u happy, she can make u sad
She can make u crazy (crazy)
She can make u shiver from your head down to your feet
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets (oh!)
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Once upon a time in the land of fever, there lived a scarlet pussy
This kitty cat of fine descent, was cherished by her mother
Who wouldnt let another, pet her, unless he was qualified
Every 1st of the month this pretty feline got the hots
And thats when the neighborhood (d-d-dogs)
Theyd line up around the block
Meow
When my little scarlet feline roars
The locals come around (come around)
When they see the scarlet light
They know its time to come chase her down (chase her down)
Lo and behold the fantastical way
In which their bodies groove
My scarlet pussys furry magic alters any mood
Scarlet pussy (its cool)
Scarlet pussy
Pussycat, pussycat
Wherefore art thou, puppy?
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Every dog would try his lines
To get pussys attention ([...])
All they want is so exposed
In ways too gross to mention (eew!)
Green virgin teenager
A filthy rich yuppie
Pussycat pussycat
Wherefore art thou puppy?
Scarlet pussy
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over your sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Meow
Now whats going on?
Oh, no, man, look out!
Somebody come get this meow-meow of my leg!
Meow!
Scarlet pussy
Pussycat pussycat
Wherefore art thou, puppy?
Meow
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
She can make u happy, she can make u sad
She can make u crazy (crazy)
She can make u shiver from your head down to your feet
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets (oh!)
She can make u crazy if ure too close to her heat
She can make u sad when ure happy as can be
She can make u shoot your ego all over her sheets
All is hers in love and war, my little scarlet pussy
Sunday, July 01, 2007
being understanding
i know i should be more understanding.
i know i should be.
this is one week out of many, right? don't be disappointed: everyone wants to "go home", because that's where "home" is. it's alright.
it's alright....
from the other side:
it weakens me, knowing it's going to be "another of those weekends". unfulfilling, unsatisfying. i'm trying, but i'm growing colder, inside. i'm slowly shrinking away. it's like he doesn't know me or know how to love me.
"i don't love you the way you want to be loved does not mean i do not love you."
yes, but that simply means i won't feel your love. i may understand your love but i don't feel it. i'm so sorry!
i know i should be.
this is one week out of many, right? don't be disappointed: everyone wants to "go home", because that's where "home" is. it's alright.
it's alright....
from the other side:
it weakens me, knowing it's going to be "another of those weekends". unfulfilling, unsatisfying. i'm trying, but i'm growing colder, inside. i'm slowly shrinking away. it's like he doesn't know me or know how to love me.
"i don't love you the way you want to be loved does not mean i do not love you."
yes, but that simply means i won't feel your love. i may understand your love but i don't feel it. i'm so sorry!
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