crossroads

yep.

crossroads. or a forked road, if you will. do you continue on with the one on the right (the one fork you always take because if you got lost you only need back up in a spiral) - or do you find it pointless and decide to go with the left, to, y'know, see what's on the other side?

but what if it's getting dark and you can't afford to get lost?

here's the good news: you don't know where you're going anyway, and at every fork is a possible destination. live a little, i say.

i don't know about you, but i know it's definitely the people that make things worthwhile. doesn't matter if i'm cleaning the floor at the nearby restaurant. if i can get myself to be the chief cook one day (don't ask me how a floor-sweeper can become head chef) and the people there're great then sure, why not.

but if the people suck and the pay's just so-so i might do it if i really really wanted to be head chef of that place. but then that's a big IF. cause doing time in an abrasive work environment simply chips self-esteem away.

we become resentful with life, we start hating waking up and going to work in the morning - where's the joy? surely life holds more than just two laughs a month - one on the day before payday and one ON payday?

weekends fly right by - not in a good way. gosh. MCs don't even help anymore.


so.

crossroads. you can't go back - it's not good enough and unless you've time wound around your magic spindle - nah-uh. so what do you do?

where do you WANT to go? is it just fatigue? or is it the idea that you can't go anywhere else?

what if you had the choice, to say - move on, to fly the heck away from the shithole you've been putting yourself in, 10 hours a day, five days a week? not that you will, but that you can.

will you stay?

one of the things i'd thought about, that. takes the stress away, takes the low self-esteem away. because i know that i'm a good thing, it doesn't matter where i go: i'll make it.

but protect your self-image... YOU can make it. but sometimes, your self-image (read: self-esteem) takes a thrashing before you can get out of there in time. don't let that happen to you. do NOT let it happen to you.

if you like what you're doing (the job) but dislike some aspect of the job, then try for a different place (if the part that irks you is not inherent in the job i mean. one example is perhaps you hate writing and you're a writer. no-go). maybe, hey - who knows, eh? - maybe you'll be happier doing that thing you'd always wanted to do.