pop-pop-pop culture

i had always been the unpopular kid - preschool, during school. and while it got lonesome sometimes, it was mostly amusing.

why, you may ask. and you may well wonder if i'm a little unhinged, especially when popularity can be quite the purpose of existence when everyone else has a clique and seem to be hanging out together and is always laughing. happy, you know?

and i was there, watching it all, thoughtful look on my face, sometimes grinning at the scene(s). and people often wondered why, especially when i'm nursing an unglam plastic cup of something, seated by myself facing no one in particular.

i was the ultimate loner. loser? hardly. but neither was i the winner. but one thing was clear to them - i was WEIRD - or so they thought and possibly still do - think. i didn't blame them though, still don't; for i even had the 'artist' persona down pat (i had been in every art class and artistic activity since primary 3)- it's hard not to think i'm one of those accidents people like to call artists.

they probably don't know this but i derived great pleasure in watching them interact; the ways they play nice, the times when they complain/bitch about something that usually involves a commonly-disliked someone else. it's like they needed a target to focus their sense of purpose on.

not to mention how i laughed, afterwards, when i doggedly followed a bunch of the older cool kids wherever they went when i was in primary 4 once. to be seen with me was to be 'uncool' and that meant that i had the same social effect as poison to your body. imagine how much distress i had caused these hapless people! -laugh-

i can still remember the warnings to 'not to follow' them and the worried looks when i saunter in their general direction!

and for a while, i enjoyed my little game. then i got interested in badminton and went on to be the school's best player - and that's when i had a little trouble getting people to stop hanging about ME (namely the younger kids). it helped that i was liberal with my threats and carrying them out, though. and so things changed: the same groups of people who thought i was somewhat of a cling-on suddenly found my rare 'visits' absolutely charming. heh. and i laughed some more.


and it's certainly amazing, to find that the very same high-school terminologies, manners of expression and dynamics are still being used today by those people who are already out of it for like, you know, at least, like, five years. yeeeah. i mean, it's, you know, like, so (italicise) weird (/italics), you know?

now it still makes me laugh but mostly it irritates me. the talk about mango having sales and 'how many percent' and the pair of shoes that are sooooo cute when paired with this bracelet - gods. if you have any sense of colour (ie: not colour blind) chances are you would know how to coordinate your clothes. and so what if you fly in the teeth of fashion? if you carry it well then you're the one riding the crest of the wave, no? then YOU're fashion.

or does nobody about me understand that?


i hope the idea to 'be a diamond, not glass' is as famous as aesop's fables. why? because diamonds have less to prove and as everybody knows, too much glitter spells 'c-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s t-r-e-e'.

not that i'm not guilty of being 'glass' at times. of course i have made my overtly stupid moves to say that 'hey i'm cool too'. alas, i need a little bit more time to be a self-assured diamond, but i'm slowly getting there. note though, that being a diamond does not equal to not being open to people trying to tell you that there is something majorly wrong with you.

of course, if it's someone telling you that you have 'an accent' when you're merely being your good charming self AND the said kind-hearted (if self-blinded, if you will) person has 'an accent' herself - then the diamond will know that it is graceful to not laugh in that person's face. but of course, i wish now that i were quite the glass when THAT happened to me. :P

but anyways. now that i'm out in the working world, it seems that the popularity thing is still ongoing. i don't understand it, but i see the benefits of knowing how to work it. hmm.

and it's life, ya?


..oh, by the way, if you're wondering why i never did get pummelled when i was dogging others when in primary school: i had always been a good runner. and when i didn't run: the pursuers quickly realised that i have a sharp stinging slap.

and nope, they never did have the guts to gang up on me.