and sometimes i think - why do people ask me out to a function with them, specifically to hang off their arm when they should be asking their other halves? i mean, i don't want no catfights on my hands, and especially not if it will make it look like we're fighting OVER him.
no way. i don't fight over men. especially not if he's using me as gold dust to make himself look better. bah. please! appearances are appearances are appearances. how much's it worth to you, eh, darren?
thankfully, unlike you, i got nothing to prove.
apologies to su though, this is that event i had told her about - and i had no idea that the ass's got an other half when he asked if i'd head to that event with him!
there are just too insensitive men about. lustful ones, bastards, clueless ones, and those who are just too shrewd for anyone's own good, you know? just amazing.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
the chat with the man who knows everything.
oh lord. it's this fluttery feeling again. butterflies in my stomach; the kind that makes me want to shriek out loud and break something.
..i'd just had a chat with the most charming man in the office - and ye gods, AM i CHARMED!
and the conversation left me feeling like - that in my scant 23 years i had not collected enough knowledge to carry out a conversation with a man of 42 years of age.
it seems that he knows everything. from religion (he quoted verses from the bible) to diving (spouted technical terms) and anything that i could throw at him, not to mention that we argued the philosophy of happiness, the meanings of it enjoyment and what makes a life 'idyllic' and whether or not it can be idyllic NOW - and hwo it can be acheived simply by seeing past prices and materials and appreciating the things that are already there.
yes, even in the old kopitiam chair that your family's had for the past five decades.
all of this, within an hour and a half of a first sit-down-and-chat. it's quite amazing how a chap that age can be flirtatious and so charming. is there any question that i like older men???
he is beautiful: mentally and physically. and he's aged like good leather (please ah, don't crack any cute jokes about implications about his skin and suchlike - every part of him is very well-kept. or the parts that i can see, at least) and he wears it like a glittering mantle.
trust me, it's simply impossible to look at him and not notice that square jaw, that oh-so-cute tan, those (oh good heavens) broad shoulders and muscles that show even under his clothes - the lean kind, mind - that ready smile and the combined flow of intellect and charm set to 'stun' -
and the fact that he's at the upper tier of an upmarket magazine only adds to the sheen of glamour. how could i have resisted? oh no, i would not have been able to even if i tried. how to, you tell me, how to???
...but coming back to earth after a full four minute's worth of coming apart at the head: like all beautiful things, there has to be a flaw. and this one, it seems, it quite fatal.
he's gay.
AUGH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!!
why all lie dat one?!
..i'd just had a chat with the most charming man in the office - and ye gods, AM i CHARMED!
and the conversation left me feeling like - that in my scant 23 years i had not collected enough knowledge to carry out a conversation with a man of 42 years of age.
it seems that he knows everything. from religion (he quoted verses from the bible) to diving (spouted technical terms) and anything that i could throw at him, not to mention that we argued the philosophy of happiness, the meanings of it enjoyment and what makes a life 'idyllic' and whether or not it can be idyllic NOW - and hwo it can be acheived simply by seeing past prices and materials and appreciating the things that are already there.
yes, even in the old kopitiam chair that your family's had for the past five decades.
all of this, within an hour and a half of a first sit-down-and-chat. it's quite amazing how a chap that age can be flirtatious and so charming. is there any question that i like older men???
he is beautiful: mentally and physically. and he's aged like good leather (please ah, don't crack any cute jokes about implications about his skin and suchlike - every part of him is very well-kept. or the parts that i can see, at least) and he wears it like a glittering mantle.
trust me, it's simply impossible to look at him and not notice that square jaw, that oh-so-cute tan, those (oh good heavens) broad shoulders and muscles that show even under his clothes - the lean kind, mind - that ready smile and the combined flow of intellect and charm set to 'stun' -
and the fact that he's at the upper tier of an upmarket magazine only adds to the sheen of glamour. how could i have resisted? oh no, i would not have been able to even if i tried. how to, you tell me, how to???
...but coming back to earth after a full four minute's worth of coming apart at the head: like all beautiful things, there has to be a flaw. and this one, it seems, it quite fatal.
he's gay.
AUGH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!!
why all lie dat one?!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
my love for a cup of milk
today, i had found out that a dear friend of mine has had a budget of yay dollars for an entire term. and that, when translated, equated to something very much worse than my own.
and that made me think of another time almost a month and a half ago when she bought me my cup of milk when we were out then, probably because she wanted to 'help me out'. not that the milk came with a shot of caramel AND gold flakes, but that was enough for her to have my love.
understand that she already has it (my love), but the gesture was so sweet that i felt the warm fuzzy feeling rise to the fore.
it's easy, i suppose, when you know you want to care for someone and when that someone suddenly cares for you - words fail you.
...i know it failed me. :)
and that made me think of another time almost a month and a half ago when she bought me my cup of milk when we were out then, probably because she wanted to 'help me out'. not that the milk came with a shot of caramel AND gold flakes, but that was enough for her to have my love.
understand that she already has it (my love), but the gesture was so sweet that i felt the warm fuzzy feeling rise to the fore.
it's easy, i suppose, when you know you want to care for someone and when that someone suddenly cares for you - words fail you.
...i know it failed me. :)
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
pop-pop-pop culture
i had always been the unpopular kid - preschool, during school. and while it got lonesome sometimes, it was mostly amusing.
why, you may ask. and you may well wonder if i'm a little unhinged, especially when popularity can be quite the purpose of existence when everyone else has a clique and seem to be hanging out together and is always laughing. happy, you know?
and i was there, watching it all, thoughtful look on my face, sometimes grinning at the scene(s). and people often wondered why, especially when i'm nursing an unglam plastic cup of something, seated by myself facing no one in particular.
i was the ultimate loner. loser? hardly. but neither was i the winner. but one thing was clear to them - i was WEIRD - or so they thought and possibly still do - think. i didn't blame them though, still don't; for i even had the 'artist' persona down pat (i had been in every art class and artistic activity since primary 3)- it's hard not to think i'm one of those accidents people like to call artists.
they probably don't know this but i derived great pleasure in watching them interact; the ways they play nice, the times when they complain/bitch about something that usually involves a commonly-disliked someone else. it's like they needed a target to focus their sense of purpose on.
not to mention how i laughed, afterwards, when i doggedly followed a bunch of the older cool kids wherever they went when i was in primary 4 once. to be seen with me was to be 'uncool' and that meant that i had the same social effect as poison to your body. imagine how much distress i had caused these hapless people! -laugh-
i can still remember the warnings to 'not to follow' them and the worried looks when i saunter in their general direction!
and for a while, i enjoyed my little game. then i got interested in badminton and went on to be the school's best player - and that's when i had a little trouble getting people to stop hanging about ME (namely the younger kids). it helped that i was liberal with my threats and carrying them out, though. and so things changed: the same groups of people who thought i was somewhat of a cling-on suddenly found my rare 'visits' absolutely charming. heh. and i laughed some more.
and it's certainly amazing, to find that the very same high-school terminologies, manners of expression and dynamics are still being used today by those people who are already out of it for like, you know, at least, like, five years. yeeeah. i mean, it's, you know, like, so (italicise) weird (/italics), you know?
now it still makes me laugh but mostly it irritates me. the talk about mango having sales and 'how many percent' and the pair of shoes that are sooooo cute when paired with this bracelet - gods. if you have any sense of colour (ie: not colour blind) chances are you would know how to coordinate your clothes. and so what if you fly in the teeth of fashion? if you carry it well then you're the one riding the crest of the wave, no? then YOU're fashion.
or does nobody about me understand that?
i hope the idea to 'be a diamond, not glass' is as famous as aesop's fables. why? because diamonds have less to prove and as everybody knows, too much glitter spells 'c-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s t-r-e-e'.
not that i'm not guilty of being 'glass' at times. of course i have made my overtly stupid moves to say that 'hey i'm cool too'. alas, i need a little bit more time to be a self-assured diamond, but i'm slowly getting there. note though, that being a diamond does not equal to not being open to people trying to tell you that there is something majorly wrong with you.
of course, if it's someone telling you that you have 'an accent' when you're merely being your good charming self AND the said kind-hearted (if self-blinded, if you will) person has 'an accent' herself - then the diamond will know that it is graceful to not laugh in that person's face. but of course, i wish now that i were quite the glass when THAT happened to me. :P
but anyways. now that i'm out in the working world, it seems that the popularity thing is still ongoing. i don't understand it, but i see the benefits of knowing how to work it. hmm.
and it's life, ya?
..oh, by the way, if you're wondering why i never did get pummelled when i was dogging others when in primary school: i had always been a good runner. and when i didn't run: the pursuers quickly realised that i have a sharp stinging slap.
and nope, they never did have the guts to gang up on me.
why, you may ask. and you may well wonder if i'm a little unhinged, especially when popularity can be quite the purpose of existence when everyone else has a clique and seem to be hanging out together and is always laughing. happy, you know?
and i was there, watching it all, thoughtful look on my face, sometimes grinning at the scene(s). and people often wondered why, especially when i'm nursing an unglam plastic cup of something, seated by myself facing no one in particular.
i was the ultimate loner. loser? hardly. but neither was i the winner. but one thing was clear to them - i was WEIRD - or so they thought and possibly still do - think. i didn't blame them though, still don't; for i even had the 'artist' persona down pat (i had been in every art class and artistic activity since primary 3)- it's hard not to think i'm one of those accidents people like to call artists.
they probably don't know this but i derived great pleasure in watching them interact; the ways they play nice, the times when they complain/bitch about something that usually involves a commonly-disliked someone else. it's like they needed a target to focus their sense of purpose on.
not to mention how i laughed, afterwards, when i doggedly followed a bunch of the older cool kids wherever they went when i was in primary 4 once. to be seen with me was to be 'uncool' and that meant that i had the same social effect as poison to your body. imagine how much distress i had caused these hapless people! -laugh-
i can still remember the warnings to 'not to follow' them and the worried looks when i saunter in their general direction!
and for a while, i enjoyed my little game. then i got interested in badminton and went on to be the school's best player - and that's when i had a little trouble getting people to stop hanging about ME (namely the younger kids). it helped that i was liberal with my threats and carrying them out, though. and so things changed: the same groups of people who thought i was somewhat of a cling-on suddenly found my rare 'visits' absolutely charming. heh. and i laughed some more.
and it's certainly amazing, to find that the very same high-school terminologies, manners of expression and dynamics are still being used today by those people who are already out of it for like, you know, at least, like, five years. yeeeah. i mean, it's, you know, like, so (italicise) weird (/italics), you know?
now it still makes me laugh but mostly it irritates me. the talk about mango having sales and 'how many percent' and the pair of shoes that are sooooo cute when paired with this bracelet - gods. if you have any sense of colour (ie: not colour blind) chances are you would know how to coordinate your clothes. and so what if you fly in the teeth of fashion? if you carry it well then you're the one riding the crest of the wave, no? then YOU're fashion.
or does nobody about me understand that?
i hope the idea to 'be a diamond, not glass' is as famous as aesop's fables. why? because diamonds have less to prove and as everybody knows, too much glitter spells 'c-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s t-r-e-e'.
not that i'm not guilty of being 'glass' at times. of course i have made my overtly stupid moves to say that 'hey i'm cool too'. alas, i need a little bit more time to be a self-assured diamond, but i'm slowly getting there. note though, that being a diamond does not equal to not being open to people trying to tell you that there is something majorly wrong with you.
of course, if it's someone telling you that you have 'an accent' when you're merely being your good charming self AND the said kind-hearted (if self-blinded, if you will) person has 'an accent' herself - then the diamond will know that it is graceful to not laugh in that person's face. but of course, i wish now that i were quite the glass when THAT happened to me. :P
but anyways. now that i'm out in the working world, it seems that the popularity thing is still ongoing. i don't understand it, but i see the benefits of knowing how to work it. hmm.
and it's life, ya?
..oh, by the way, if you're wondering why i never did get pummelled when i was dogging others when in primary school: i had always been a good runner. and when i didn't run: the pursuers quickly realised that i have a sharp stinging slap.
and nope, they never did have the guts to gang up on me.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
war vs life
i had been reading this story about ffx - how auron and rikku fought their - mortality - and had managed to frolic during their pilgrimage.
and things while hard was 'alright', because they had each other and the hardships stuck them together. which in turn made me think about the urbane side of things - why we have this many divorces today is simply because it's hardly 'you and me against the world' but rather i'm fighting the world AND you.
i would merrily give my love and gentleness (assuming i am capable of that, of course) to the man who's braving clawing monsters and suchlike outside of my cave to bring back bacon and such - or even rebel against my family to follow a man who's in love with me (whom i adore as well. duh) but whom my clan hates.
of course, bombs and roaming monsters help, too. that is, of course, assuming he's entirely capable of defending himself and us against the said monsters.
truly 'you and me against the whole damn world', capisce?
but tough to acheive in this urban universe, it seems. staying together's easy when both make the effort. but staying together when Life is in the way - well.
suddenly nobody's as sweet as they should be anymore, eh? the sweet girl with dulcet tones has become the virago who has unkemp hair and dowdy clothes and the gentlemanly young chap has turned into the paunchy ole man who addresses you by 'oei'.
sigh...
romance dies when peacetime comes.
ain't it grand.
and things while hard was 'alright', because they had each other and the hardships stuck them together. which in turn made me think about the urbane side of things - why we have this many divorces today is simply because it's hardly 'you and me against the world' but rather i'm fighting the world AND you.
i would merrily give my love and gentleness (assuming i am capable of that, of course) to the man who's braving clawing monsters and suchlike outside of my cave to bring back bacon and such - or even rebel against my family to follow a man who's in love with me (whom i adore as well. duh) but whom my clan hates.
of course, bombs and roaming monsters help, too. that is, of course, assuming he's entirely capable of defending himself and us against the said monsters.
truly 'you and me against the whole damn world', capisce?
but tough to acheive in this urban universe, it seems. staying together's easy when both make the effort. but staying together when Life is in the way - well.
suddenly nobody's as sweet as they should be anymore, eh? the sweet girl with dulcet tones has become the virago who has unkemp hair and dowdy clothes and the gentlemanly young chap has turned into the paunchy ole man who addresses you by 'oei'.
sigh...
romance dies when peacetime comes.
ain't it grand.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
it's sooooo highschool!
a: helloy! how're yoy? ooh yoy got those earrings, do yoy have a date tonight?
b: good day! well no, not really, some of my friends are coming and i'm picking them up at the airport... i got these earrings at [location deleted to preserve privacy], and they're like, four bucks a pair? the others were like, you know, pearly, and there's one that has got pink stuff on it. they're sooo cuuute!
a: oh wow, only two bucks?
b: yeah... oh by the way, c is going back to [said location that's been deleted to preserve privacy] soon, do you need anything from there?
a: hmmm noy, not at the moment. i'll think about it (or something to the like. i can't quite recall).
b: well yeah... clothes back there fit better! the stuff they sell here are sooo weird; they fit kinda funny.
a: (nods with a smile but says nothing)
b: well i'm probably going ask c if she can, though i'll probably wait till she gets my package. it'd be so cool! (laughs)
----
man... if that's not high school i don't know what is. isn't it time to break out of the high school cheerleader act already?
b: good day! well no, not really, some of my friends are coming and i'm picking them up at the airport... i got these earrings at [location deleted to preserve privacy], and they're like, four bucks a pair? the others were like, you know, pearly, and there's one that has got pink stuff on it. they're sooo cuuute!
a: oh wow, only two bucks?
b: yeah... oh by the way, c is going back to [said location that's been deleted to preserve privacy] soon, do you need anything from there?
a: hmmm noy, not at the moment. i'll think about it (or something to the like. i can't quite recall).
b: well yeah... clothes back there fit better! the stuff they sell here are sooo weird; they fit kinda funny.
a: (nods with a smile but says nothing)
b: well i'm probably going ask c if she can, though i'll probably wait till she gets my package. it'd be so cool! (laughs)
----
man... if that's not high school i don't know what is. isn't it time to break out of the high school cheerleader act already?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
death by cuteness
try this: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/unusual_animals/index.html
check out the racoon vid. so cute~~~~
check out the racoon vid. so cute~~~~
sick and rashed
i had gone to see the doctor, it burnt a hole in my wallet.
then i headed to my mum's with my burnt wallet to let it rest and recuperate. and oh, my good self, too. :D
then my mum dearest decided that she must take the heat out of my body and therefore mixed some dubious concoction that consisted of some powdered bright blue crystal and white crystal - AND vinegar. and using some pulped vegetation wrapped in cloth, she dabbed - nay, RUBBED it onto my neck, chest and back area.
ow. the taking it off with rice wine part wasn't too bad though.
now i am super aware whenever i sweat, even a little. because it feels like i were pricked by many, many little needles. eating is a pain (who doesn't sweat when eating?) and sleeping is trying (doesn't help that i wasn't supposed to turn the damn fan on and the windows have to STAY closed).
argh.
but well. it's born of a love she has for me... never mind that i will never again appreciate the ideas for TCM she's got for me, especially not if it involves crystals (the first was when she decided to rid me of the mole i have on my face - yes the part that's now a crater).
then i headed to my mum's with my burnt wallet to let it rest and recuperate. and oh, my good self, too. :D
then my mum dearest decided that she must take the heat out of my body and therefore mixed some dubious concoction that consisted of some powdered bright blue crystal and white crystal - AND vinegar. and using some pulped vegetation wrapped in cloth, she dabbed - nay, RUBBED it onto my neck, chest and back area.
ow. the taking it off with rice wine part wasn't too bad though.
now i am super aware whenever i sweat, even a little. because it feels like i were pricked by many, many little needles. eating is a pain (who doesn't sweat when eating?) and sleeping is trying (doesn't help that i wasn't supposed to turn the damn fan on and the windows have to STAY closed).
argh.
but well. it's born of a love she has for me... never mind that i will never again appreciate the ideas for TCM she's got for me, especially not if it involves crystals (the first was when she decided to rid me of the mole i have on my face - yes the part that's now a crater).
Monday, August 21, 2006
truth is...
truth is the worst is not as bad as it sounds.
truth is the misunderstanding does not require your clearing up.
truth is the person you love and think does not love you in return thinks the same way about you.
truth is the idea of 'sticking by it' and 'through thick and thin' only happens when you perceive it to.
..truth is, it all doesn't quite matter.
truth is the misunderstanding does not require your clearing up.
truth is the person you love and think does not love you in return thinks the same way about you.
truth is the idea of 'sticking by it' and 'through thick and thin' only happens when you perceive it to.
..truth is, it all doesn't quite matter.
woi
i just realised. the world doesn't just consist of me.
jasmine! are you alright?
hadn't heard squeak from you. i'm starting to worry.
jasmine! are you alright?
hadn't heard squeak from you. i'm starting to worry.
misunderstood
woh-oh-oh yeah
that be me. felt rather crappy about it.
but that was just now. i'm feeling sleepy, now.
that be me. felt rather crappy about it.
but that was just now. i'm feeling sleepy, now.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
a funny dream
i woke too late as usual, the bbc was on the radio in the background - and i had a funny dream.
it was nice and sweet, in an evil sort of way.
i dreamt that i was working at some place as an admin sorta person or something to the like for i had to deal with loads of paper adn such... and funnily enough my boss is my adversary, someone set out to ruin me. and it seems that i am rather unwillingly famous, that the chap was dying to find out every single thing about me to drive me to destruction (ahem. other times i'd be flattered but in the dream i was suitably unaware).
enter short fart, who's charming and funny and ah beng to boot. he's been looking out for me and been sweet to bring bring me blankets and food if i remember my dream correctly - and we spent happy time together, laughing. and that's just in a friendly kinda way, you know?
so when things turn crappy (boss got the necessary dirt on me and was planning to start the deadly spreading of rumours - i don't know how this works but apparently it will kill me) - the said short fart told me to stay well and be good, last-word like .
and, with an ice-pick like thing in hand, inserted it into the boss's head.... and the boss doesn't die.
the chap didn't even see short fart head up to beside him, insert that thing, walk back out. neither did the girl he was speaking with. something was wrong. that sweet short fart isn't whom he seemed to be. and as it turns out, he's from 'another place' - and i had forgotten to ask what that insertion of the needle would do.
so soon after that incident he's got to return. he's got a friend with him, one i seemed to recognise but didn't. they had to wait for dusk, which happened rather promptly also, considering it was 2 o'clock in dreamtime - and when it happened, i was biting my knuckles trying not to cry and when the portal (for lack of a better word) opened - it was the size of a blackhole - he hopped right in, back facing the blackhole and facing me, insouciant grin on face complete with an easy wave, bidding goodbye.
that's when he started becoming a demon..........
it was nice and sweet, in an evil sort of way.
i dreamt that i was working at some place as an admin sorta person or something to the like for i had to deal with loads of paper adn such... and funnily enough my boss is my adversary, someone set out to ruin me. and it seems that i am rather unwillingly famous, that the chap was dying to find out every single thing about me to drive me to destruction (ahem. other times i'd be flattered but in the dream i was suitably unaware).
enter short fart, who's charming and funny and ah beng to boot. he's been looking out for me and been sweet to bring bring me blankets and food if i remember my dream correctly - and we spent happy time together, laughing. and that's just in a friendly kinda way, you know?
so when things turn crappy (boss got the necessary dirt on me and was planning to start the deadly spreading of rumours - i don't know how this works but apparently it will kill me) - the said short fart told me to stay well and be good, last-word like .
and, with an ice-pick like thing in hand, inserted it into the boss's head.... and the boss doesn't die.
the chap didn't even see short fart head up to beside him, insert that thing, walk back out. neither did the girl he was speaking with. something was wrong. that sweet short fart isn't whom he seemed to be. and as it turns out, he's from 'another place' - and i had forgotten to ask what that insertion of the needle would do.
so soon after that incident he's got to return. he's got a friend with him, one i seemed to recognise but didn't. they had to wait for dusk, which happened rather promptly also, considering it was 2 o'clock in dreamtime - and when it happened, i was biting my knuckles trying not to cry and when the portal (for lack of a better word) opened - it was the size of a blackhole - he hopped right in, back facing the blackhole and facing me, insouciant grin on face complete with an easy wave, bidding goodbye.
that's when he started becoming a demon..........
Saturday, August 19, 2006
moodswung
met two of my girlfriends today - it's a pleasure seeing them, as always, but i got moodswung halfway.
sucks. sorry babes, if i made you both uncomfortable. :( the lack of a voice to be chatty forestalled considerations and/or attempts at easing the conversation.
let's start over, next week. my voice would have returned by then.
sucks. sorry babes, if i made you both uncomfortable. :( the lack of a voice to be chatty forestalled considerations and/or attempts at easing the conversation.
let's start over, next week. my voice would have returned by then.
oops i did it again
ho gods. it seems that when i'm not sending signals i'm sending signals.
i've just had some chap at work say that i'm like a lil sister to him, 'don't know why he wants to take care of me' - and the likes. it's almost like he's trying to tell me that 'i'm not his type' without saying it.
wah. irritating and embarrassing at the same time, no?
amazing.
i've just had some chap at work say that i'm like a lil sister to him, 'don't know why he wants to take care of me' - and the likes. it's almost like he's trying to tell me that 'i'm not his type' without saying it.
wah. irritating and embarrassing at the same time, no?
amazing.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
doctor, doctor!
good grief. pierce chow.
gastro doctor in SGH. this is one doctor lacks bedside manners. went for our appointment set at 11am and had to wait in line till noon to be told what we already had been told before: scan needed.
i mean, hello? we have too much time issit? must go aaaaall the way to SGH take a number jostle with the screwy crowd so we can pop into your little room to hear what we've heard before?
kao.
pierce chow. gastro doc in SGH. remember him.
gastro doctor in SGH. this is one doctor lacks bedside manners. went for our appointment set at 11am and had to wait in line till noon to be told what we already had been told before: scan needed.
i mean, hello? we have too much time issit? must go aaaaall the way to SGH take a number jostle with the screwy crowd so we can pop into your little room to hear what we've heard before?
kao.
pierce chow. gastro doc in SGH. remember him.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
hot pot
went to jenn's this sunday, to have hot pot.
and by golly it felt like home. jenn's mum and dad were so unflappably friendly and warm that it's hard not to feel like part of the family! and wow the food - the SOUP - yummm
food was good, company was easy... the starting was a bit shy but we got along pretty well once we got used to each other. it helps that dave was about, too. haha! he's got a pretty good sense of humour!
thanks babe, it was lovely. one of the precious things that makes me feel wonderful to be alive.
love you. :)
and by golly it felt like home. jenn's mum and dad were so unflappably friendly and warm that it's hard not to feel like part of the family! and wow the food - the SOUP - yummm
food was good, company was easy... the starting was a bit shy but we got along pretty well once we got used to each other. it helps that dave was about, too. haha! he's got a pretty good sense of humour!
thanks babe, it was lovely. one of the precious things that makes me feel wonderful to be alive.
love you. :)
Monday, August 07, 2006
something terrible happened today.
it was worse than when my hamster died. the atmosphere as wrong. i knew it. i had an inkling that it might happen and could have taken the steps to prevent the tragedy from happening but i had trusted in what others called 'faith' and -
MY LANDLADY TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!!
MY LANDLADY TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!! can you believe it?!! SHE TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!!!!!
i KNEW something hideously wrong has happened the moment i opened the fridge! AW sweet angels and the universe above! why did i WAIT to eat the strudel?!
good lord, i had WAITED to eat that one, looked forward to it, merrily skipping back home (not an easy thing in 4-inch heels) after not thinking about it for an entire DAY at that god-forsaken cemented dungeon of a workplace to come back home to NO-STRUDEL?!!?!?
the injustice! AUGH!
and this is the second time. the first one was my favourite chocolate tarts from fricken katong. a gift from a friend, bought by the boxful. also another belonging to the yum-yum category.
nabeh! i, like the villain waiting for meester bong to die, trusting - too much - in life and the impossibilities of other people. most people took one chance to get to once bitten twice shy - it seems that it's taken me more than one bite. of my tarts and pastries, no less!
...i'm deeply sorry to say i can't help the dejection i feel at this moment. no strudel. monday blues in the morning and now the blue's turning a brilliant shade of purple. oh, if emails could cry!
-sob-
...if emails could cry this one'd have pounded on the other side of your screen and shrieked blue murder to avenge my wrongfully eaten pastries.
it was worse than when my hamster died. the atmosphere as wrong. i knew it. i had an inkling that it might happen and could have taken the steps to prevent the tragedy from happening but i had trusted in what others called 'faith' and -
MY LANDLADY TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!!
MY LANDLADY TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!! can you believe it?!! SHE TOOK MY STRUDEL!!!!!!!
i KNEW something hideously wrong has happened the moment i opened the fridge! AW sweet angels and the universe above! why did i WAIT to eat the strudel?!
good lord, i had WAITED to eat that one, looked forward to it, merrily skipping back home (not an easy thing in 4-inch heels) after not thinking about it for an entire DAY at that god-forsaken cemented dungeon of a workplace to come back home to NO-STRUDEL?!!?!?
the injustice! AUGH!
and this is the second time. the first one was my favourite chocolate tarts from fricken katong. a gift from a friend, bought by the boxful. also another belonging to the yum-yum category.
nabeh! i, like the villain waiting for meester bong to die, trusting - too much - in life and the impossibilities of other people. most people took one chance to get to once bitten twice shy - it seems that it's taken me more than one bite. of my tarts and pastries, no less!
...i'm deeply sorry to say i can't help the dejection i feel at this moment. no strudel. monday blues in the morning and now the blue's turning a brilliant shade of purple. oh, if emails could cry!
-sob-
...if emails could cry this one'd have pounded on the other side of your screen and shrieked blue murder to avenge my wrongfully eaten pastries.
prayer and praise
wow.
back to church. sang. met jenn, met a cutie cellmate, all's good.
went to prayer and praise fest, real good. had to cabut from another 2 meet-ups though. through the prayer and praise i was able to let go of 'man'; to not put too much emphasis on them adn focus.
yes, focus.
back to church. sang. met jenn, met a cutie cellmate, all's good.
went to prayer and praise fest, real good. had to cabut from another 2 meet-ups though. through the prayer and praise i was able to let go of 'man'; to not put too much emphasis on them adn focus.
yes, focus.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
lightbulbs and potatoes
contrary to the title, this one doesn't have anything to do with potatoes. not literally anyway.
people are like lightbulbs.
when they first get into the working world, they do their best to shine. like a new lightbulb.
they work hard, they put forth a strong presence in their field, like new lightbulbs that you freshly pop into the lamp to replace that one that blew. and as those who have changed their own lightbulbs would have noticed, the new lightbulb often 'doesn't feel the same' though you undoubtedly understand the desire and/or need for a new one, and that 'the new one' isn't 'the old one'.
that applies to lovers and spouses as well as people within the workplace, no?
and unless you have one of those electrical mojo gadgets that control the brightness (i believe they're called radiance regulators?) - chances are the light's going to be too bright, too harsh, too 'white', too - you get the idea - and while it is 'like the other one that left you groping in the dark' it is 'not the same'. you, regrettably, prefer (or shoudl i say 'miss' - should it be possible to actually miss a blown lightbulb? heh) the one that gave on you all the while understanding that it won't be the same. you'd endured through that one's first stark efficacy and as time went by, it not just did its job of illuminating the words of your nighttime read but mellowed and provided you with a seasoned glow that you grew comfortable with and had accompanied you through many an adventure in a book you're using as a bedtime read.
...but when a bulb's blown a bulb's blown - you have to get a replacement or you'd be stumbling in your daily (nightly) trials.
and the office tube giving on you and blinking incessantly trying to give you what it used to or remembering the bulb in your bedside lamp has died only after you'd flicked the switch on is something anyone can relate to.
- isn't that terribly like people too?
when someone joins the company, he tries his best to shine, to make his presence known and felt. that chap may be too cheerful, too hardworking, too efficient - an eager beaver. a new bulb. efficient, but irritating.
but as time goes by, the new bulb settles in to the flow of things and instead of casting harsh shadows it becomes "warm" and "forgiving" though at the same time still glows enough to allow you to see the faults/details of the surroundings should you WANT to examine the plaster on the wall.
and when the bulb's at that stage you enjoy it; its presence, its function. you will continue to enjoy that for a while, too. until of course, something happens and that bulb goes.
sometimes it's not the bulb, but a case of decayed wire (don't ask me how that happens - it does. but don't ask me how) and can be fixed. other times, something in the bulb's broken though it still tries to give you its support (them blinking office lights) but acheiving possibly nothing more than supreme irritation - and it makes better sense for you to get a new one.
or make do without one, let the nearby florescent chip in with their radiance until you get around to getting a replacement. if it's not crucial that you have that lightbulb up and lighting, of course.
..and isn't that similar to people?
amazing what the mind turns up in the middle of the night, eh.
people are like lightbulbs.
when they first get into the working world, they do their best to shine. like a new lightbulb.
they work hard, they put forth a strong presence in their field, like new lightbulbs that you freshly pop into the lamp to replace that one that blew. and as those who have changed their own lightbulbs would have noticed, the new lightbulb often 'doesn't feel the same' though you undoubtedly understand the desire and/or need for a new one, and that 'the new one' isn't 'the old one'.
that applies to lovers and spouses as well as people within the workplace, no?
and unless you have one of those electrical mojo gadgets that control the brightness (i believe they're called radiance regulators?) - chances are the light's going to be too bright, too harsh, too 'white', too - you get the idea - and while it is 'like the other one that left you groping in the dark' it is 'not the same'. you, regrettably, prefer (or shoudl i say 'miss' - should it be possible to actually miss a blown lightbulb? heh) the one that gave on you all the while understanding that it won't be the same. you'd endured through that one's first stark efficacy and as time went by, it not just did its job of illuminating the words of your nighttime read but mellowed and provided you with a seasoned glow that you grew comfortable with and had accompanied you through many an adventure in a book you're using as a bedtime read.
...but when a bulb's blown a bulb's blown - you have to get a replacement or you'd be stumbling in your daily (nightly) trials.
and the office tube giving on you and blinking incessantly trying to give you what it used to or remembering the bulb in your bedside lamp has died only after you'd flicked the switch on is something anyone can relate to.
- isn't that terribly like people too?
when someone joins the company, he tries his best to shine, to make his presence known and felt. that chap may be too cheerful, too hardworking, too efficient - an eager beaver. a new bulb. efficient, but irritating.
but as time goes by, the new bulb settles in to the flow of things and instead of casting harsh shadows it becomes "warm" and "forgiving" though at the same time still glows enough to allow you to see the faults/details of the surroundings should you WANT to examine the plaster on the wall.
and when the bulb's at that stage you enjoy it; its presence, its function. you will continue to enjoy that for a while, too. until of course, something happens and that bulb goes.
sometimes it's not the bulb, but a case of decayed wire (don't ask me how that happens - it does. but don't ask me how) and can be fixed. other times, something in the bulb's broken though it still tries to give you its support (them blinking office lights) but acheiving possibly nothing more than supreme irritation - and it makes better sense for you to get a new one.
or make do without one, let the nearby florescent chip in with their radiance until you get around to getting a replacement. if it's not crucial that you have that lightbulb up and lighting, of course.
..and isn't that similar to people?
amazing what the mind turns up in the middle of the night, eh.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
this day
this very day i fell in love - was so discomfited i fell right out again.
i so, so hate this feeling.
reminds of me of the song that goes - i guess you sunk in/ oh yeah you made it in/now i'm fumblin' somewhere deep within/
gawds. hate this one! cute guy but MAN! HATE IT!
i so, so hate this feeling.
reminds of me of the song that goes - i guess you sunk in/ oh yeah you made it in/now i'm fumblin' somewhere deep within/
gawds. hate this one! cute guy but MAN! HATE IT!
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