confidence. what gives?
it's about self-belief, the self-awareness that you are capable, that you can take care of yourself, be it earning your keep and/or putting some moron's face in when he gets too nasty. it's about the belief that you can take on whatever the other person can throw at you.
you know who you are, what you are capable of, what you have. you have, therefore, a strong sense of identity.
then there's the feedback that comes from 'the random well-meaning person', who DOES seem to mean well but bloody can't raise any specific examples as to when you are 'not up to par' or may have 'stepped on toes' or whatnot, which leaves you bewildered. not too much, but just a touch. enough for you to ask yourself if that really is that case a second time.
not helping matters. possibly well-meaning, but doesn't help matters.
given my paranoid don't-trust-'em attitude, it's only recently that i understood this: while not many people in this world are 'good', not many are 'bad', neither. so whenever i encounter these kind samaritans i tend to slap them.
well i would like to, at least.
but seriously - if they see a problem and proceed to tell you about it without giving you the details of the problem it will be like someone coming up from behind you (blindspot) then saying 'EW' then continuing to gape and gawk and point at whatever it is that's on your back without articulating what in the world that's freaking him out so much.
you feel superbly uncomfortable because something that's on YOU is bothering him/her big time and you don't know what it is, if it's safe to brush it off yourself and you don't even know what to start to say to other passersby about the thing on your back. you get what i'm saying? the best you can do is 'excuse me (if you're polite) - is there anything on my back? can you help me take a look, please?'
and when it comes to things like 'oh, it's just something about you' then it's as good as squat. first off, assuming the person telling you 'you have a problem' really means well - sometimes it's good to get more information, like just what it is exactly that is not quite 'right' about say, my good self. and assuming there really were something not quite right about me, is it a quirk (maybe i wink each time i say hello) or is it something worth looking into because it causes a great deal of trouble (like i'm an unconscious kleptomaniac, for example, though it is really hard to be unconscious about putting things into the bag).
if it is the latter, then it is only good sense that you do somethign about it. but if it were the former - who are you to make me into who you think you will like? what do you think you are, micheal jackson??
and i'm no home alone culkin, however you may think i look like the malleable sort.
alright. nasties snipped away - if i were to find myself in this kind of situation - as in, i'm seriously bothered by some quirk/habit of someone's i'll be sure to point it out. if i can't articulate it i have no right to say it. a seemingly-DUH statement - but think about it.
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