Sunday, July 30, 2006
i dare not think...
no. i dare not think.
i dare not think that i'm in love.
...naaaaaaah.
(got you concerned there didn't i? :D)
i dare not think that i'm in love.
...naaaaaaah.
(got you concerned there didn't i? :D)
Saturday, July 29, 2006
the perfect man
found this off the net. haha
...The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride. The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too He'll do anything in his power To convey his feelings of love on you. The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your name He's a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain. He never has made you cry Or hurt you in any way Oh, screw this stupid poem The perfect man is GAY.
...The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride. The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too He'll do anything in his power To convey his feelings of love on you. The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your name He's a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain. He never has made you cry Or hurt you in any way Oh, screw this stupid poem The perfect man is GAY.
Friday, July 28, 2006
wa.
checked this out, just for fun, at
Your Psyche or Nature Number is - 8
You are very sincere to others and give up everything for the sake of society and family. You always think ahead of time and possess a sharp instinct. You have a strong will power and individuality. You usually hide your feelings and allow people to think what they like. You may either be a great success in life or a great failure. Even though other people oppose you, you continue to do the work and hence succeed in making a lot of enemies. You have a very good memory and never forget your resentment against anyone. You are regularly misunderstood in your life by others. For this reason, you usually feel extremely lonely at heart. You are always commanding. You may undergo many ups and downs in your life, but you will prosper and be successful in the later part of your life. If you lead a simple and religious life, you are bound to rise to high positions in life. The birth of a daughter in your house will prove to be very lucky for you. You are inclined towards the sufferings of the people. Your work may not be noticed during your lifetime but it will be remembered and recognised after your death. You generally aim for public life or government responsibility of some kind. You will want to go deep into the mysteries of the nature. Events will take place in a fast pace in your life. In the later part of your life, you may prefer to lead a lonely life due to your previous experience of marital life. Health wise, you should be careful about certain ailments in your old age. You may suffer from problems related to liver, kidney and constipation. You may also have headaches and intestinal problems. You should avoid meat and have as much vegetables and fruits as possible.
You may sometimes become lethargic and lazy. Though you have all the qualities in you, sometimes you tend to ignore them and earn easy money. You always hide your emotions and feelings from others. You believe a job is done only after you have completed it. You sometimes worry a lot.
Your Psyche or Nature Number is - 8
You are very sincere to others and give up everything for the sake of society and family. You always think ahead of time and possess a sharp instinct. You have a strong will power and individuality. You usually hide your feelings and allow people to think what they like. You may either be a great success in life or a great failure. Even though other people oppose you, you continue to do the work and hence succeed in making a lot of enemies. You have a very good memory and never forget your resentment against anyone. You are regularly misunderstood in your life by others. For this reason, you usually feel extremely lonely at heart. You are always commanding. You may undergo many ups and downs in your life, but you will prosper and be successful in the later part of your life. If you lead a simple and religious life, you are bound to rise to high positions in life. The birth of a daughter in your house will prove to be very lucky for you. You are inclined towards the sufferings of the people. Your work may not be noticed during your lifetime but it will be remembered and recognised after your death. You generally aim for public life or government responsibility of some kind. You will want to go deep into the mysteries of the nature. Events will take place in a fast pace in your life. In the later part of your life, you may prefer to lead a lonely life due to your previous experience of marital life. Health wise, you should be careful about certain ailments in your old age. You may suffer from problems related to liver, kidney and constipation. You may also have headaches and intestinal problems. You should avoid meat and have as much vegetables and fruits as possible.
You may sometimes become lethargic and lazy. Though you have all the qualities in you, sometimes you tend to ignore them and earn easy money. You always hide your emotions and feelings from others. You believe a job is done only after you have completed it. You sometimes worry a lot.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
to hell with this world!
it would seem that nobody really understands.
not even your own mother.
doesn't anybody in this whole god-forsaken world understand that when someone's bloody tired of this world's goings-on and needs someone to talk to the last thing she needs is to be told what to do?
that's the. last. thing. that. i. need.
not even your own mother.
doesn't anybody in this whole god-forsaken world understand that when someone's bloody tired of this world's goings-on and needs someone to talk to the last thing she needs is to be told what to do?
that's the. last. thing. that. i. need.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
one good reason
voice over: there are many reasons to get angry.
(play clip: young man stepping out of a winery with bottle in hand was smacked with paint by kids on bike, his ice-cream falls from his cone to eat the floor, he got yelled at by a grocer for someone else's spilling his tomatoes on the floor, someone cut the queue in front of him when he went for his starbucks -
(same young man - superbly agitated, facing the camera, almost swinging the paper-bagged bottle in his hand -
voice over: but there's one good reason to stay calm.
(chap notices there's a bottle in his hand and smiles at bottle.)
-fade to black-
-logo fade in, logo fade out-
-sound of bottle breaking and someone cursing-
voice over: thank God for cheap wines. Madigan's.
(play clip: young man stepping out of a winery with bottle in hand was smacked with paint by kids on bike, his ice-cream falls from his cone to eat the floor, he got yelled at by a grocer for someone else's spilling his tomatoes on the floor, someone cut the queue in front of him when he went for his starbucks -
(same young man - superbly agitated, facing the camera, almost swinging the paper-bagged bottle in his hand -
voice over: but there's one good reason to stay calm.
(chap notices there's a bottle in his hand and smiles at bottle.)
-fade to black-
-logo fade in, logo fade out-
-sound of bottle breaking and someone cursing-
voice over: thank God for cheap wines. Madigan's.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
emails and snails
potent things, those.
from emails at work to emails at work - man.
it's like dropping a pebble into a deep deep well. sometimes you get a clatter as it hits the intended bottom - sometimes you don't. and of course, sometimes the pebble finds itself terribly attracted to the sides and creates extra an extra bit of fanfare.
unintended and unaimed, but well.
it's amazing, i tell you. what you said 'without emotion' can be read as 'wah lao eh you bloody sonnofa *" - it's true!
not because it reads exactly that but because the reader's perception is coloured even before anything has been done. and as i noticed, it's the 'little men' who get bothered by things as such. and when i say 'little men' i mean little men.
the smaller ones who seem to be threatened by anything taller than themselves, whether or not they wear heels. oh, come to think of it, make that 'little people'.
it's so very amazing.
men, women. same shit. but well. i suppose after smelling like roses for the entire lifetime's worth of shitholes my time's up. time to get dirty! >:D
from emails at work to emails at work - man.
it's like dropping a pebble into a deep deep well. sometimes you get a clatter as it hits the intended bottom - sometimes you don't. and of course, sometimes the pebble finds itself terribly attracted to the sides and creates extra an extra bit of fanfare.
unintended and unaimed, but well.
it's amazing, i tell you. what you said 'without emotion' can be read as 'wah lao eh you bloody sonnofa *" - it's true!
not because it reads exactly that but because the reader's perception is coloured even before anything has been done. and as i noticed, it's the 'little men' who get bothered by things as such. and when i say 'little men' i mean little men.
the smaller ones who seem to be threatened by anything taller than themselves, whether or not they wear heels. oh, come to think of it, make that 'little people'.
it's so very amazing.
men, women. same shit. but well. i suppose after smelling like roses for the entire lifetime's worth of shitholes my time's up. time to get dirty! >:D
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
charmed
it is so very amusing to find adults running helter-skelter to defend their pride and their authority.
never ceases to amaze, amuse.
good heavens, the human idiocy!
never ceases to amaze, amuse.
good heavens, the human idiocy!
thirties. bah.
people judge as they will.
they jump to conclusions, they want to shake you, yell - and i ask: why?
does it make them feel clever to infer things by cleverly catching my 'slips'? do people only talk about things that happened to them? no? i don't get why people are so very keen to pin things completely unrelated to what you just said to you then.
it seems that the thirtier a person gets the more judgemental that person is. men, women - same thing. but give me an older person, the reaction will not be as such. maybe they've mellowed, maybe they've become wiser - whatever it is, it certainly makes that person easier company.
nothing against people in their thirties - it's a great age to be in. you're young, you've gotten somewhere in your life and you've seen the world and are soon-to-be leaders (if you're not one already) - but hey.
for all the years that you had been in this world, surely you understand how it is? will it take you a couple more years to understand that ramming things down another's throat either doesn't work or it backfires? or that you may have seen much but maybe, just maybe, the person you're talking to, your friend, isn't really in need of YOUR opinions?
for god's sakes let up and be a friend.
and before you think that ho! poor loren, she's gotten herself into some kind of scrape and is complaining about it - no.
it's not about me. true that i have friends who do just that but this is not what it's about. this is about people who think they're too clever by half, too sharp, too worldly-wise, too - too bloody insensitive to those about them.
you get what i mean?
it's almost like they can't help it. like a child not being able to help wanting something and screaming about it, they can't help but feel superior.
and that just takes the cake. wow.
they jump to conclusions, they want to shake you, yell - and i ask: why?
does it make them feel clever to infer things by cleverly catching my 'slips'? do people only talk about things that happened to them? no? i don't get why people are so very keen to pin things completely unrelated to what you just said to you then.
it seems that the thirtier a person gets the more judgemental that person is. men, women - same thing. but give me an older person, the reaction will not be as such. maybe they've mellowed, maybe they've become wiser - whatever it is, it certainly makes that person easier company.
nothing against people in their thirties - it's a great age to be in. you're young, you've gotten somewhere in your life and you've seen the world and are soon-to-be leaders (if you're not one already) - but hey.
for all the years that you had been in this world, surely you understand how it is? will it take you a couple more years to understand that ramming things down another's throat either doesn't work or it backfires? or that you may have seen much but maybe, just maybe, the person you're talking to, your friend, isn't really in need of YOUR opinions?
for god's sakes let up and be a friend.
and before you think that ho! poor loren, she's gotten herself into some kind of scrape and is complaining about it - no.
it's not about me. true that i have friends who do just that but this is not what it's about. this is about people who think they're too clever by half, too sharp, too worldly-wise, too - too bloody insensitive to those about them.
you get what i mean?
it's almost like they can't help it. like a child not being able to help wanting something and screaming about it, they can't help but feel superior.
and that just takes the cake. wow.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
baybeatific!
headed down to baybeats - boy it was awesome!
helped that i was there with two of my best buddies! it was a little awkward at first, maybe from the times we hadn't seen each other, but it ended beautifully. it's times like these i am truly glad to be alive.
not that i tend not to be happy that i am most of the time but you get what i mean.
cheers to friends and life!
helped that i was there with two of my best buddies! it was a little awkward at first, maybe from the times we hadn't seen each other, but it ended beautifully. it's times like these i am truly glad to be alive.
not that i tend not to be happy that i am most of the time but you get what i mean.
cheers to friends and life!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
samaritan schmaritan
i'd been mulling about this for two minutes.
confidence. what gives?
it's about self-belief, the self-awareness that you are capable, that you can take care of yourself, be it earning your keep and/or putting some moron's face in when he gets too nasty. it's about the belief that you can take on whatever the other person can throw at you.
you know who you are, what you are capable of, what you have. you have, therefore, a strong sense of identity.
then there's the feedback that comes from 'the random well-meaning person', who DOES seem to mean well but bloody can't raise any specific examples as to when you are 'not up to par' or may have 'stepped on toes' or whatnot, which leaves you bewildered. not too much, but just a touch. enough for you to ask yourself if that really is that case a second time.
not helping matters. possibly well-meaning, but doesn't help matters.
given my paranoid don't-trust-'em attitude, it's only recently that i understood this: while not many people in this world are 'good', not many are 'bad', neither. so whenever i encounter these kind samaritans i tend to slap them.
well i would like to, at least.
but seriously - if they see a problem and proceed to tell you about it without giving you the details of the problem it will be like someone coming up from behind you (blindspot) then saying 'EW' then continuing to gape and gawk and point at whatever it is that's on your back without articulating what in the world that's freaking him out so much.
you feel superbly uncomfortable because something that's on YOU is bothering him/her big time and you don't know what it is, if it's safe to brush it off yourself and you don't even know what to start to say to other passersby about the thing on your back. you get what i'm saying? the best you can do is 'excuse me (if you're polite) - is there anything on my back? can you help me take a look, please?'
and when it comes to things like 'oh, it's just something about you' then it's as good as squat. first off, assuming the person telling you 'you have a problem' really means well - sometimes it's good to get more information, like just what it is exactly that is not quite 'right' about say, my good self. and assuming there really were something not quite right about me, is it a quirk (maybe i wink each time i say hello) or is it something worth looking into because it causes a great deal of trouble (like i'm an unconscious kleptomaniac, for example, though it is really hard to be unconscious about putting things into the bag).
if it is the latter, then it is only good sense that you do somethign about it. but if it were the former - who are you to make me into who you think you will like? what do you think you are, micheal jackson??
and i'm no home alone culkin, however you may think i look like the malleable sort.
alright. nasties snipped away - if i were to find myself in this kind of situation - as in, i'm seriously bothered by some quirk/habit of someone's i'll be sure to point it out. if i can't articulate it i have no right to say it. a seemingly-DUH statement - but think about it.
confidence. what gives?
it's about self-belief, the self-awareness that you are capable, that you can take care of yourself, be it earning your keep and/or putting some moron's face in when he gets too nasty. it's about the belief that you can take on whatever the other person can throw at you.
you know who you are, what you are capable of, what you have. you have, therefore, a strong sense of identity.
then there's the feedback that comes from 'the random well-meaning person', who DOES seem to mean well but bloody can't raise any specific examples as to when you are 'not up to par' or may have 'stepped on toes' or whatnot, which leaves you bewildered. not too much, but just a touch. enough for you to ask yourself if that really is that case a second time.
not helping matters. possibly well-meaning, but doesn't help matters.
given my paranoid don't-trust-'em attitude, it's only recently that i understood this: while not many people in this world are 'good', not many are 'bad', neither. so whenever i encounter these kind samaritans i tend to slap them.
well i would like to, at least.
but seriously - if they see a problem and proceed to tell you about it without giving you the details of the problem it will be like someone coming up from behind you (blindspot) then saying 'EW' then continuing to gape and gawk and point at whatever it is that's on your back without articulating what in the world that's freaking him out so much.
you feel superbly uncomfortable because something that's on YOU is bothering him/her big time and you don't know what it is, if it's safe to brush it off yourself and you don't even know what to start to say to other passersby about the thing on your back. you get what i'm saying? the best you can do is 'excuse me (if you're polite) - is there anything on my back? can you help me take a look, please?'
and when it comes to things like 'oh, it's just something about you' then it's as good as squat. first off, assuming the person telling you 'you have a problem' really means well - sometimes it's good to get more information, like just what it is exactly that is not quite 'right' about say, my good self. and assuming there really were something not quite right about me, is it a quirk (maybe i wink each time i say hello) or is it something worth looking into because it causes a great deal of trouble (like i'm an unconscious kleptomaniac, for example, though it is really hard to be unconscious about putting things into the bag).
if it is the latter, then it is only good sense that you do somethign about it. but if it were the former - who are you to make me into who you think you will like? what do you think you are, micheal jackson??
and i'm no home alone culkin, however you may think i look like the malleable sort.
alright. nasties snipped away - if i were to find myself in this kind of situation - as in, i'm seriously bothered by some quirk/habit of someone's i'll be sure to point it out. if i can't articulate it i have no right to say it. a seemingly-DUH statement - but think about it.
perseverance.
yes, it makes me feel good.
it gives me a sense of well-being, makes me feel connected, make sme more confident. never mind the initial hurt/fear/passiveness.
it will all pass, and what comes after, will be worth it.
it gives me a sense of well-being, makes me feel connected, make sme more confident. never mind the initial hurt/fear/passiveness.
it will all pass, and what comes after, will be worth it.
another shot in the dark
i fired a shot in the metaphorical dark, hoping i'd hit something i'd like. i'd nonchalantly reel the find in, half excited, half fearing what i'd get.
it's like that when i go out each day.
when i get on the bus, what will i see? the bus i board every morning comes from almaysia, takes me to biggis and - what will happen there, who will i meet? who is the old lady with the basket tote, the kind that old ladise wearing home-made clothes tend to carry; why is she up so early to get to wherever she's getting to, every day?
is it for work? why's she working still, at her age? shouldn't she be awash in a sea of grandchildren somewhere in jaybubbee?
who's that fresh-faced young man, not dressed in office wear but in a tee-shirt and pants. not jeans, mind, but pants. and he's often asleep with his head resting on the rubber handle that's the seat's backrest with his backpack on his lap.
then there's this petite pretty girl, with make up and rebonded shoulder-length hair who boards the bus a few stops after i get on. she's lovely; but maybe because she is lovely she stares straight ahead, not seeming to notice the bus's passage, nor other people.
has she made a doll out of herself, so as to affirm her identity not just to herself but to others?
me, i've nothing to prove.
the way i hold my glass, the way i speak or keep my peace, the way i look at people - some say i am pretentious, some say i'm too direct. others, simply think too much into what i'm saying and/or doing.
and i'm determined not to be like that.
thus i continue to not assume and not pay too much attention. not too little, neither - just enough. enough to keep me interested but not enough to make me want to pry.
and it all keeps things interesting.
so what say you to that, friends? sometimes the opportunity to take the bus is a chance some don't tend to get. sure i'm lusting after my own vehicle, but since i can't afford it, short of selling off someone else's kidney (that would be fraud, by the way, and that requires brains which i do not have much of. pity) - the bus is a pretty good way to 'know thy land', if you knew what to look out for.
maybe, just maybe - before anyone travelled anywhere, it's good to notice things you 'forgot' to notice before, aye.
it's like that when i go out each day.
when i get on the bus, what will i see? the bus i board every morning comes from almaysia, takes me to biggis and - what will happen there, who will i meet? who is the old lady with the basket tote, the kind that old ladise wearing home-made clothes tend to carry; why is she up so early to get to wherever she's getting to, every day?
is it for work? why's she working still, at her age? shouldn't she be awash in a sea of grandchildren somewhere in jaybubbee?
who's that fresh-faced young man, not dressed in office wear but in a tee-shirt and pants. not jeans, mind, but pants. and he's often asleep with his head resting on the rubber handle that's the seat's backrest with his backpack on his lap.
then there's this petite pretty girl, with make up and rebonded shoulder-length hair who boards the bus a few stops after i get on. she's lovely; but maybe because she is lovely she stares straight ahead, not seeming to notice the bus's passage, nor other people.
has she made a doll out of herself, so as to affirm her identity not just to herself but to others?
me, i've nothing to prove.
the way i hold my glass, the way i speak or keep my peace, the way i look at people - some say i am pretentious, some say i'm too direct. others, simply think too much into what i'm saying and/or doing.
and i'm determined not to be like that.
thus i continue to not assume and not pay too much attention. not too little, neither - just enough. enough to keep me interested but not enough to make me want to pry.
and it all keeps things interesting.
so what say you to that, friends? sometimes the opportunity to take the bus is a chance some don't tend to get. sure i'm lusting after my own vehicle, but since i can't afford it, short of selling off someone else's kidney (that would be fraud, by the way, and that requires brains which i do not have much of. pity) - the bus is a pretty good way to 'know thy land', if you knew what to look out for.
maybe, just maybe - before anyone travelled anywhere, it's good to notice things you 'forgot' to notice before, aye.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
bottomlesspit-itis
i've been feeling hungry these few days: morning, afternoon, night.
i wonder what's happened?
i wonder what's happened?
as i stare through the ring
which is impossible because i'm wearing it.
that aside: it feels good to have a place to run off to. somewhere where there is only nurturing people, chaise longues, food, drink, music and entertainment.
lovely.
just what i need to cure social fatigue.
that aside: it feels good to have a place to run off to. somewhere where there is only nurturing people, chaise longues, food, drink, music and entertainment.
lovely.
just what i need to cure social fatigue.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
about men
i think the thing about men is to simply be accommodating.
but the more important thing is - they shouldn't matter to you too much. because when they do there is a tendency to want to 'change' and 'control' them, never mind whether we are or that we are not.
they'll feel that way, even when we're not trying.
and they know when you're nagging - 'when your mouth moves'.
but the more important thing is - they shouldn't matter to you too much. because when they do there is a tendency to want to 'change' and 'control' them, never mind whether we are or that we are not.
they'll feel that way, even when we're not trying.
and they know when you're nagging - 'when your mouth moves'.
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