about jennifer

i was sitting on a couch flipping through the cartoon channel when i noticed oprah's talkshow.

she had jennifer aniston on that funky couch in that new studio of hers - and they were talking, with oprah asking jenn how is she getting on, is she ready to date again, with jennifer saying a brave 'yes!' and smiling, almost like she were daring the world to say otherwise.


and while that went on, i was thinking - goodness. i watched jenn, and it was odd. the way she answered the questions, amidst her supporters, was classically strong and 'oh yeah i'm done' but somehow it wasn't quite right.

heck nobody goes through a marriage, not even jennifer aniston, for all ther yoga training and inner strength AND all that glitz about 'the sexiest man alive' and 'the sexiest other woman' and being the 'golden couple' plus the meddling media -


ye gods. she has hurt. a heckuvalot if you ask me. she's busy and such but nobody misses the tabloids about who's having whose baby and what last name the foster kids will have now that they're together...

i mean, i had gone through a scant three months' worth of er, 'emotion' and i had bawled my heart out on two occasions, but only only because i was drunk.

now i'm not advocating hitting the bottle under the pretext of 'lowering once's defences' - that's bullshit. because when i hadn't intended to get drunk. i was out partying, thinking that i was - hah - over it.


..'hah' indeed.

but twice i had felt better. call it healing, getting over someone, whatnot. whatever it was, it gave me the insight to tell that jenn wasn't truly over it. over 'them'.




but then, so what? they broke up. we broke up. and life goes on? thankfully i didn't lose brad pitt. and not to whatzername jolie. i'd be stretching it if i were to say i didn't hurt.

but to say that it's a mofo-wound* will be entirely untrue. it's enough to make me cringe but not enough to make me lose my appetite.

thus. i'm not envious of jennifer aniston. not for perfect hair, not for having dated brad pitt, not for losing to 'a better woman' jolie. because no matter how beautiful you are, you are still subject to human caprice.


*mofo means muthafuckin'. or if used on its own, means muthafucka.