fortune teller

a fortune teller told me once, that i would be in love with a man who's not good for me.

i'd love that man like he were my life and i would do anything for him. she said, though, we would break up. she also mentioned that there was another girl overseas, and she would return to singapore and i would one day see her.

i would get insanely jealous when i do see her and in the end, he and i would break up. there's a very good chance, she said, that i would kill myself when that happened. we would be together for exactly a year and that'd be the end of it.

needless to say, i was very upset when i heard that but the boyfriend i had back then wasn't the one she was talking about.

it was simony.

the good news she had for me at the end though, was that i would meet another, much better than that one, and we would be happy.


my words of bravado to her back then were: alright, so let it happen. get it over and done with and then let's go on to the good stuff.

what she didn't know was that i had asked my mother to help get some things for me and spent that time in bed. i cried like i were a violin string strung too tight - i had howl-shrieked my pain and - for the lack of a less melodramatic word - anguish like i were about to break.

thankfully i get over things as such quick: i was done by the time my mother returned later that day. i moped a little but nothing as intense as that kinda expression.


..now that simony's over (phew) - here's looking forward at the future. i'm not looking for love, at love, suchlike.

i'm just not looking. i get followed about by random acquaintances as usual, but i pay them no heed. i get invitations to be f* buddies but i'm not that interested - i choose my f* buddies, they don't choose me. emotional needs satisfied because there aren't any, physical needs satisfied by my paramours and most importantly, my Lord satisfies my spiritual needs.

what more do i ask for? :) i'm living the perfect life! amen to that!