friends, friends.
it's important to have friends. i'm very happy around friends; shouldn't my beau be an even closer friend, thus?
we were friends but somehow lost that connection. i thought i had a wonderful thing: with him around i've eyes for nobody else and i've ears for nobody else. isn't that a wonderful thing to start with?
it's love, isn't it.
love makes fools out of me and you. love makes blind fools out of me and you.
sometimes i wish i were a wolf, for wolves mate for life and if one were to die (of thirst, hunger, whatnot) the other stays single for the rest of the way.
..other times i wish i were a mayfly, meant to be food for a bigger bug or a fifteen-second mate for another mayfly i'd never seen in my entire three-day life. then again, being a mayfly, i wouldn't have much preference, save that the other mayfly's got a woo-woo when i don't.
heh.
maybe mayflies have it better than us, eh? three days!
they've got to know what life's about, given only three days. just like how you'll only know life when you find out you've got cancer.
heh. cancer.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
are you..?
are you as crazy about me as i am about you, baby?
are you as madly in love with me as i am in love with you?
has anything changed, has anything changed
are you as crazy about me baby as i am about you?
did you cast your heart in frost so love would last longer, darling?
in this microwave age everything's frozen desertland waste
until it thaws, for that moment, in the microwave
would you rather have it hot or would you want it to last a bit longer?
what is it you want, darling?
has anything changed, has anything changed?
are you as madly in love with me as i am in love with you?
has anything changed, has anything changed
are you as crazy about me baby as i am about you?
did you cast your heart in frost so love would last longer, darling?
in this microwave age everything's frozen desertland waste
until it thaws, for that moment, in the microwave
would you rather have it hot or would you want it to last a bit longer?
what is it you want, darling?
has anything changed, has anything changed?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
deadlines and the city
nope, there ain't no sex no more. just deadlines.
deadlines and the effin' city. NOW i know why i like publishing this much.
..then again it's only been barely a month. hard to say, still. here's hoping things go well, eh?
deadlines and the effin' city. NOW i know why i like publishing this much.
..then again it's only been barely a month. hard to say, still. here's hoping things go well, eh?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
pretty little dollar-signed world
Beauty can be bought. Affections can be bought. Heck, even love can be bought – because this is a world moved by economics.
You work because you can, because you need the money, because you need to have something to do with all your time. People employ you because you’re valuable to the company, because of what you can do for the company, because what you do can help with the process of money-making. And that’s what it’s all about – money.
No, you are not free. Every day you are bombarded with ideas – ideas of what beauty should be, ideas of what perfection is, ideas of what a lovely sound should be, - not all of it your own. And what is your own?
money. that's what it all has become. what you love may be what another makes use of to make money. and that's all it is, that's all it will be.
You work because you can, because you need the money, because you need to have something to do with all your time. People employ you because you’re valuable to the company, because of what you can do for the company, because what you do can help with the process of money-making. And that’s what it’s all about – money.
No, you are not free. Every day you are bombarded with ideas – ideas of what beauty should be, ideas of what perfection is, ideas of what a lovely sound should be, - not all of it your own. And what is your own?
money. that's what it all has become. what you love may be what another makes use of to make money. and that's all it is, that's all it will be.
the book i'm reading
the book i'm reading is so cynical it makes me smile.
written by a frenchman in the creative industry, the author frederic whatzisname takes you through frenetic tussles with his day-to-day work life. and i ask: what is it that we're working for, for we are all peons, mindless hypnotised beings who recognise products by the amount of time they're aired on tv, the radio and in turn and seen on people as make-up, clothes, bags, whatnot which finally leads to its name being on peoples' minds and mouths.
..yes, that's the stuff i've been fed each time i flip to the next page and funnily enough, like a cow finally understanding that it's being given 'animal-based feed' - i read on, still.
i'm sure anyone being put through the daily workgrind (jas) will love that book. titled /strikethrough[english pound sign]9.99/strikethrough [english pound sign]6.99. by frederic beigbeder.
good thing i got it at $3.
written by a frenchman in the creative industry, the author frederic whatzisname takes you through frenetic tussles with his day-to-day work life. and i ask: what is it that we're working for, for we are all peons, mindless hypnotised beings who recognise products by the amount of time they're aired on tv, the radio and in turn and seen on people as make-up, clothes, bags, whatnot which finally leads to its name being on peoples' minds and mouths.
..yes, that's the stuff i've been fed each time i flip to the next page and funnily enough, like a cow finally understanding that it's being given 'animal-based feed' - i read on, still.
i'm sure anyone being put through the daily workgrind (jas) will love that book. titled /strikethrough[english pound sign]9.99/strikethrough [english pound sign]6.99. by frederic beigbeder.
good thing i got it at $3.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
the blog that makes me want to cry
i found this blog on a certain jennifer's site - the owner's name's joey - her blog made me want to cry.
i mean it. her entried are so heartfelt, so very sincere. separations, the passing of a well-loved grandmother, the return of a love from Faraway, that they've "made it". how do those not make you tear?
well joey, i hope you'll have a blessed life, may you always have The Lord's Joy in your heart.
Amen.
i mean it. her entried are so heartfelt, so very sincere. separations, the passing of a well-loved grandmother, the return of a love from Faraway, that they've "made it". how do those not make you tear?
well joey, i hope you'll have a blessed life, may you always have The Lord's Joy in your heart.
Amen.
the future
got my fortune read in a spur-o'-the-mo decision. it's not good, it's not bad - it's full of ups and downs and suchlikein terms of financial situations, career and matters of the heart - how my fourth boyfriend (goodness knows i've far exceeded that number!) will be The One and the fifth will be The Two (the latter being the better but later choice).
i was warned against early marriage as er, it will not have a happy ending - though i was told that i'm prolly going to hear wedding bells when i'm 26. that's - wait. how old am i? wah liew that's in a few years' time! bah-sket i hope i grow some boobs by then!
...well. at least big enough to fill in the front of my gown. filling in the rest of my gown may not be... - my idea of filling in my gown. -chuckle- though... if that's a bad idea to get married at that kind of age - does it mean i'm predestined to go through a divorce? }: x
aaaanyways. i asked more about what the fortune teller meant by 'the fourth one' cause, well, i have, as i said, exceeded that number. so he explained - the three that i had 'put emotions into' - and all i could summon up were the ones who made me cry my guts out. i mean, hey how else do you know that you'd put emotion into it, right? if you didn't cry or cry too hard about it then i suppose it's not going to cut it.
so.. if that's the case - i'm telling you i'm still lost.
how arh?
i was warned against early marriage as er, it will not have a happy ending - though i was told that i'm prolly going to hear wedding bells when i'm 26. that's - wait. how old am i? wah liew that's in a few years' time! bah-sket i hope i grow some boobs by then!
...well. at least big enough to fill in the front of my gown. filling in the rest of my gown may not be... - my idea of filling in my gown. -chuckle- though... if that's a bad idea to get married at that kind of age - does it mean i'm predestined to go through a divorce? }: x
aaaanyways. i asked more about what the fortune teller meant by 'the fourth one' cause, well, i have, as i said, exceeded that number. so he explained - the three that i had 'put emotions into' - and all i could summon up were the ones who made me cry my guts out. i mean, hey how else do you know that you'd put emotion into it, right? if you didn't cry or cry too hard about it then i suppose it's not going to cut it.
so.. if that's the case - i'm telling you i'm still lost.
how arh?
pornos
yes, pornos. and what purpose do they serve?
geewhiz i don't know - men use them to feel good about themselves i suppose? it's like their 'coming' is all there is to it. read an article about the increase of rape games online. what's with that?
losers who can't get ladies to like them enough to sleep with them and therefore have to resort to this? and - get this - they have to choose young anime girls they can bend to their wills. heck pick on someone your own size!
no? because when you do and it's against their will it's called RAPE. geddit? i'll say it again: RAPE.
good sex for you (you came) does not necessarily mean good sex for her. and to be a sex god - please. you gotta do more than shoot fireworks in your own head, with your own head, capisce?
real men know the dual meaning to 'ladies first'. real women know how to reward their men. porn?
bah. looks like that's what the lefties are for when the righties are busy with the mouseys, eh?
geewhiz i don't know - men use them to feel good about themselves i suppose? it's like their 'coming' is all there is to it. read an article about the increase of rape games online. what's with that?
losers who can't get ladies to like them enough to sleep with them and therefore have to resort to this? and - get this - they have to choose young anime girls they can bend to their wills. heck pick on someone your own size!
no? because when you do and it's against their will it's called RAPE. geddit? i'll say it again: RAPE.
good sex for you (you came) does not necessarily mean good sex for her. and to be a sex god - please. you gotta do more than shoot fireworks in your own head, with your own head, capisce?
real men know the dual meaning to 'ladies first'. real women know how to reward their men. porn?
bah. looks like that's what the lefties are for when the righties are busy with the mouseys, eh?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
the company
you know how some companies have employees who believe so much in their work that they refuse to leave it, that they get labelled 'workaholics' and people say that they're married to their jobs?
well i want a company like that. i want to work in a company like that, i want to build a company like that, in which back-biting is frowned upon and will be dealt with - and when you're in my company and you're just starting out - there will be someone assigned to train the newbies. as in, the chap's duty is to make sure the newbies learn, to show the up side and the down side of the job. i will make sure that there are facilities for the people, xbox, bar, playstation, suchlike within the office so they'll be happy there. i'll even give them a library so they can stock up on books on photography, comics (for the illustrators), design, creative advertising, magazines -
yes it looks like i'll be building an advertisign agency - maybe, maybe. i'll employ someone to run it, i'll train myself up in the finance area and make sure things are going good, and my secondary role is to make sure there is a lovely environment for the people to work/live in. and i'll make sure there are showers within the company's vicinity as well. maybe other than signing cheques at the end of the month i'll be the receptionist. after all, that's where i can keep a lookout on things, too. if i'm not too busy, that is.
but then if i'm smart at keeping things running (brains can always be hired muhahaha) i'm pretty sure i can be financially free enough to keep my employees happy and company running. if not i can sell the company, start a new one. :) we'll see.
because i know that i will succeed. amen to that!
well i want a company like that. i want to work in a company like that, i want to build a company like that, in which back-biting is frowned upon and will be dealt with - and when you're in my company and you're just starting out - there will be someone assigned to train the newbies. as in, the chap's duty is to make sure the newbies learn, to show the up side and the down side of the job. i will make sure that there are facilities for the people, xbox, bar, playstation, suchlike within the office so they'll be happy there. i'll even give them a library so they can stock up on books on photography, comics (for the illustrators), design, creative advertising, magazines -
yes it looks like i'll be building an advertisign agency - maybe, maybe. i'll employ someone to run it, i'll train myself up in the finance area and make sure things are going good, and my secondary role is to make sure there is a lovely environment for the people to work/live in. and i'll make sure there are showers within the company's vicinity as well. maybe other than signing cheques at the end of the month i'll be the receptionist. after all, that's where i can keep a lookout on things, too. if i'm not too busy, that is.
but then if i'm smart at keeping things running (brains can always be hired muhahaha) i'm pretty sure i can be financially free enough to keep my employees happy and company running. if not i can sell the company, start a new one. :) we'll see.
because i know that i will succeed. amen to that!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
reflection inflection
i was thinking, reminiscing. if back then i hadn't asked those hard questions to simon - would it be different? will i stop getting irritated at men who are boys?
..nope. HAAAHAHAHAHAHA
..nope. HAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Monday, March 19, 2007
lomantik
i've been reading them comics, right, and it's about romance, right, about this girl who decides to enroll her good, senseless self into a boy's school so she can be closer to the man of her dreams.
and, right, she gets in there and manages to pass off as a boy, documents required to enroll herself into the school notwithstanding, right, then proceeds to have strokes of good luck such as managing to share a room with the person she's so in love with. so they stay together, no hanky-panky, just pure, good, simple love. he's found out about her gender, no doubt, but kept it to himself and took it upon himself to take care of and protect her. as a friend, and then, when realising that he's got 'a thing' for her, right, as 'something more'.
it's not all smooth-sailing - there are funky characters along the way that make things stranger than it already is and sometimes easier than it is - but all in all more complicated, right. and then i think - is it really possible in today's society? i mean, pure, simple, love? the kind that prompts men to think 'i want to protect her' and DO so, always be near her, save her from funny situations and give her a sense of safety?
it's more than just bringing home the bacon. it's not easy, it's not hard. it's just harder to find. i mean, a man who won't so much as look at another when he's got you on his mind and kissing you is still the face-reddening thing that he thinks about. you know what i mean? it's this kind of love and man that makes a girl swoon and it's the kind of love and man that makes a woman want to be a woman.
the kind of woman that every man wants - sweet, caring, gentle, the kind that you probably will want to protect as opposed to those byatches who sit in the boardroom in the powersuits and spiked heels. yeeeeeah you know what i'm talkin' about!*
so yes. i've been reading this comic, right, and it's just sweet. gentlemen, do you really blame us ladies for wanting that kind of love, when i'm pretty sure you also want that kind of woman?
yes, we want to adore you, respect you, cook for you, take care of you. a sweet man who's manly and sensitive and so charmingly protective will give you a woman like that. truly. give it a shot - try any woman and do that for her - and tell me if it's true.
i know where my money will be.
*okay i just got a brief talking-to. when i say 'power suits and spiked-heeled byatches' i mean er, those who er, look and behave like men and have no qualms about wronging rights to chase fame and/or dollar.
none of these are my friends, thankfully. i have wonderful buddies, thank The Blessed Almighty!
and, right, she gets in there and manages to pass off as a boy, documents required to enroll herself into the school notwithstanding, right, then proceeds to have strokes of good luck such as managing to share a room with the person she's so in love with. so they stay together, no hanky-panky, just pure, good, simple love. he's found out about her gender, no doubt, but kept it to himself and took it upon himself to take care of and protect her. as a friend, and then, when realising that he's got 'a thing' for her, right, as 'something more'.
it's not all smooth-sailing - there are funky characters along the way that make things stranger than it already is and sometimes easier than it is - but all in all more complicated, right. and then i think - is it really possible in today's society? i mean, pure, simple, love? the kind that prompts men to think 'i want to protect her' and DO so, always be near her, save her from funny situations and give her a sense of safety?
it's more than just bringing home the bacon. it's not easy, it's not hard. it's just harder to find. i mean, a man who won't so much as look at another when he's got you on his mind and kissing you is still the face-reddening thing that he thinks about. you know what i mean? it's this kind of love and man that makes a girl swoon and it's the kind of love and man that makes a woman want to be a woman.
the kind of woman that every man wants - sweet, caring, gentle, the kind that you probably will want to protect as opposed to those byatches who sit in the boardroom in the powersuits and spiked heels. yeeeeeah you know what i'm talkin' about!*
so yes. i've been reading this comic, right, and it's just sweet. gentlemen, do you really blame us ladies for wanting that kind of love, when i'm pretty sure you also want that kind of woman?
yes, we want to adore you, respect you, cook for you, take care of you. a sweet man who's manly and sensitive and so charmingly protective will give you a woman like that. truly. give it a shot - try any woman and do that for her - and tell me if it's true.
i know where my money will be.
*okay i just got a brief talking-to. when i say 'power suits and spiked-heeled byatches' i mean er, those who er, look and behave like men and have no qualms about wronging rights to chase fame and/or dollar.
none of these are my friends, thankfully. i have wonderful buddies, thank The Blessed Almighty!
crossroads
yep.
crossroads. or a forked road, if you will. do you continue on with the one on the right (the one fork you always take because if you got lost you only need back up in a spiral) - or do you find it pointless and decide to go with the left, to, y'know, see what's on the other side?
but what if it's getting dark and you can't afford to get lost?
here's the good news: you don't know where you're going anyway, and at every fork is a possible destination. live a little, i say.
i don't know about you, but i know it's definitely the people that make things worthwhile. doesn't matter if i'm cleaning the floor at the nearby restaurant. if i can get myself to be the chief cook one day (don't ask me how a floor-sweeper can become head chef) and the people there're great then sure, why not.
but if the people suck and the pay's just so-so i might do it if i really really wanted to be head chef of that place. but then that's a big IF. cause doing time in an abrasive work environment simply chips self-esteem away.
we become resentful with life, we start hating waking up and going to work in the morning - where's the joy? surely life holds more than just two laughs a month - one on the day before payday and one ON payday?
weekends fly right by - not in a good way. gosh. MCs don't even help anymore.
so.
crossroads. you can't go back - it's not good enough and unless you've time wound around your magic spindle - nah-uh. so what do you do?
where do you WANT to go? is it just fatigue? or is it the idea that you can't go anywhere else?
what if you had the choice, to say - move on, to fly the heck away from the shithole you've been putting yourself in, 10 hours a day, five days a week? not that you will, but that you can.
will you stay?
one of the things i'd thought about, that. takes the stress away, takes the low self-esteem away. because i know that i'm a good thing, it doesn't matter where i go: i'll make it.
but protect your self-image... YOU can make it. but sometimes, your self-image (read: self-esteem) takes a thrashing before you can get out of there in time. don't let that happen to you. do NOT let it happen to you.
if you like what you're doing (the job) but dislike some aspect of the job, then try for a different place (if the part that irks you is not inherent in the job i mean. one example is perhaps you hate writing and you're a writer. no-go). maybe, hey - who knows, eh? - maybe you'll be happier doing that thing you'd always wanted to do.
crossroads. or a forked road, if you will. do you continue on with the one on the right (the one fork you always take because if you got lost you only need back up in a spiral) - or do you find it pointless and decide to go with the left, to, y'know, see what's on the other side?
but what if it's getting dark and you can't afford to get lost?
here's the good news: you don't know where you're going anyway, and at every fork is a possible destination. live a little, i say.
i don't know about you, but i know it's definitely the people that make things worthwhile. doesn't matter if i'm cleaning the floor at the nearby restaurant. if i can get myself to be the chief cook one day (don't ask me how a floor-sweeper can become head chef) and the people there're great then sure, why not.
but if the people suck and the pay's just so-so i might do it if i really really wanted to be head chef of that place. but then that's a big IF. cause doing time in an abrasive work environment simply chips self-esteem away.
we become resentful with life, we start hating waking up and going to work in the morning - where's the joy? surely life holds more than just two laughs a month - one on the day before payday and one ON payday?
weekends fly right by - not in a good way. gosh. MCs don't even help anymore.
so.
crossroads. you can't go back - it's not good enough and unless you've time wound around your magic spindle - nah-uh. so what do you do?
where do you WANT to go? is it just fatigue? or is it the idea that you can't go anywhere else?
what if you had the choice, to say - move on, to fly the heck away from the shithole you've been putting yourself in, 10 hours a day, five days a week? not that you will, but that you can.
will you stay?
one of the things i'd thought about, that. takes the stress away, takes the low self-esteem away. because i know that i'm a good thing, it doesn't matter where i go: i'll make it.
but protect your self-image... YOU can make it. but sometimes, your self-image (read: self-esteem) takes a thrashing before you can get out of there in time. don't let that happen to you. do NOT let it happen to you.
if you like what you're doing (the job) but dislike some aspect of the job, then try for a different place (if the part that irks you is not inherent in the job i mean. one example is perhaps you hate writing and you're a writer. no-go). maybe, hey - who knows, eh? - maybe you'll be happier doing that thing you'd always wanted to do.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
the break
and now that i am freelancing - it is certainly better than to turn in to work 9 - 6 every day.
security in exchange for boredom. i wonder how people can continue to work at one place continuously for decades - which happened to a lot of people back then, when times were 'simpler'. heh.
i deserve the break! and sleeping till the sun shines on my face is certainly it. now to find a source of income that allows me to do just that....
security in exchange for boredom. i wonder how people can continue to work at one place continuously for decades - which happened to a lot of people back then, when times were 'simpler'. heh.
i deserve the break! and sleeping till the sun shines on my face is certainly it. now to find a source of income that allows me to do just that....
Friday, March 16, 2007
on beauty and compliments
i find it hard - very hard - to not tell a person he/she is beautiful when i see beauty in him or her.
and that more often than not has gotten me into trouble. each time that happens, i wonder - what is it about a compliment as such that makes people fear, that they think that i am weird, that they will be in danger of being stalked by yours truly?
i mean, can you imagine being stalked by a tall scrawny girl who laughs a lot and is always running around doing something? do you think Yer Haute Hawtness is truly Twenty-Ye-Gods-YO-HAWT-MAMA-thousand-degrees kinda hot?
Puh-leese. take the compliment and run with it already - fear for your safety? pffft don't make me laugh.
besides, it's not like i spot some beautiful stranger on the streets and go up to them to tell them that they're gorgeous!
not that i have told anyone such things lately (shame. i say 'shame' because i have seen some very beautiful people out there but just hadn't paid them that compliment anymore); cause the idea of complimenting them on their beauty is lost on them.
not many know how to be gracious and say a simple 'thank you' anymore.
and that more often than not has gotten me into trouble. each time that happens, i wonder - what is it about a compliment as such that makes people fear, that they think that i am weird, that they will be in danger of being stalked by yours truly?
i mean, can you imagine being stalked by a tall scrawny girl who laughs a lot and is always running around doing something? do you think Yer Haute Hawtness is truly Twenty-Ye-Gods-YO-HAWT-MAMA-thousand-degrees kinda hot?
Puh-leese. take the compliment and run with it already - fear for your safety? pffft don't make me laugh.
besides, it's not like i spot some beautiful stranger on the streets and go up to them to tell them that they're gorgeous!
not that i have told anyone such things lately (shame. i say 'shame' because i have seen some very beautiful people out there but just hadn't paid them that compliment anymore); cause the idea of complimenting them on their beauty is lost on them.
not many know how to be gracious and say a simple 'thank you' anymore.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
read
woman to the devil:
"i know you consider yourself truthful because all that you speak are true. you just don't speak all of it."
"i know you consider yourself truthful because all that you speak are true. you just don't speak all of it."
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