hair

i wait for my hair to grow.

it's short and it's frizzed. i want it to grow quick. quick quick quick!

macs

My mac fell with as much force as I did when I'd managed to keel over earlier this evening. (I'd tripped lah)

While granted that my dear iBuk in its own protective wrapping and I'm in mine, I had suffered scraped knees and bruised dignity while the mac's merrily working as I type this email, still.

You may say that 'hey it's a thick covering your laptop's got' but I beg to differ.

While I don't encourage the trip test (read: tripping while holding the laptop and have it sail a short arc through the air with you watching in horror as you hit the ground) - or any drop tests for that matter - I am proud to say that my baybeee macintoshie survived!

It might be a little grubby where my wrists lay but it's a hardly lil piece.

And who says apples suck? It's them pcs that do, instability an' all! Now who's yer mac daddy???


(here's hoping my pretty monitor won't come off when I lift it for work come Monday...)

ever felt the fever?

have you ever felt the fever? ever felt the heat?

ever heard the words leave someone's mouth that doesn't matter but matters? like the words from your boss's mouth?


you want to do your best. it makes you feel good. doesn't it?

..doesn't it?

monday.

sometimes when it ain't yer fault it is yer fault.

sometimes when it ain't yer business it is yer business.

shit happened, the team that's to cover the damn thing gets it. but he understands. but he screamed anyway. what he was trying to acheive, i've no idea.


i pray that tomorrow will be a better day.

sometimes

sometimes you just don't know what to do.

it's tough i suppose. you truly don't know how the hells to go on with life. even when people tell you you're alrighty.


i'm getting depressed right now, i don't quite get why. just a general feeling of coldness and unease. somehow, somehow. i'm willing to bet it's hunger.

that or it's me listening to the song titled 'sing along' by dave matthews. that's a song i heard and listened to during those cliched nights after the lagi more cliched heartbroken nights, when i was feeling a little lost as to what i'm going to do with my life and suchlike.

if i sing along will you sing along/
if i sing along does it mean i'm along/
if i sing along does it mean i'm along/
or will you see me as insecure/
as anybody else/


..headed to a date later, with someone whom my colleague said looks like a bollywood star (he's northern indian).

it doesn't matter what he looks like, because i can't tell whether he's good-looking or not. doesn't matter, this.


but he IS the equivalent of tall darke and handsome. what can i say? a date is a date is a date. here's hoping i won't need to stay up and out.

guesses

things people do, things people say. prophesies and suchlike, i'm part of the plan.

but what role do i play, and what am i here to acheive?

am i here to teach gentleness and bring joy? maybe. who knows? i might dream up an answer tonight.

that ass

that ass's so distracting!

omigosh.

geek i am!

it's proven. i'm a geek.

unpolished

unpolished, i am.

i'll have to watch out. quietitude is the best attitude to take.


watch and learn, young grasshopper.

the skin

yes, the skin is a wonderful thing indeed.


i hate to be touched but love it at the same time.

just please, please do not tap me. hate it. abso-kabloot-ly.

speedy boy

my hamster enchants me so. and i figured that it's quite smart. cute lil thing, you!

astrology

happened to read my horoscopes these few days and it looks like romance is looking for me. -chuckle-

maybe romance, but also maybe just fun times. it keeps telling me that romance is coming my way. other than the single bloke at work, where the hells is it? well, alright, there is the other obscure man who thinks i'm the one for him. then again, who knows whomever else's skirt he's chasing?

sweet, but a stranger. craziness. lemme show him my new hairstyle and maybe he'll back off. -laugh-


here's hoping the career takes off. it'd better, this company's my love!

oh, is it showing?

so i don't quite like men as a general rule. but it's truly funny how some of them make me so happy, just by being there and being their charming selves.

i suppose it's only when they start saying things like they really like me or see a future with me that i start freaking out. thankfully i don't have many of those hanging around. enough to keep the ego afloat but just enough so i don't have to consider changing my number.

but then, what's so special about my case? i don't know. maybe it's because who i deal with are older men rather than youthful plankheads who hardly know the world? because i'm merely 22? because...?

who cares, really? i like oldies, i love jazz, am in love with good ole port, white wine, prefer chilling out rather than making conversation..


you're right, i do sound like an old woman. maybe that's why i'm in love with older men.

driving

ooh i love the feel of it! so exciting!

now to get a rich boyfriend...

humour

when you don't know what to do, laugh.

it's true.

YARGH another one!

mark called to say he's back! what in the world's happening?!

alien contact

wah piang eh sam made contact on the same day.

scary. came with his wifey and her best friend all the way from the states. here's hoping this is the last of it all.


with God's grace, amen.

the ring

i'd received a message from someone i thought i'd never hear from ever again.

but there it is, that message. i'd experienced that nearly-forgotten jolt of fear when i saw his number.


but well. looks like we're set to play a game this saturday. great! i'd missed people.

fortune teller

a fortune teller told me once, that i would be in love with a man who's not good for me.

i'd love that man like he were my life and i would do anything for him. she said, though, we would break up. she also mentioned that there was another girl overseas, and she would return to singapore and i would one day see her.

i would get insanely jealous when i do see her and in the end, he and i would break up. there's a very good chance, she said, that i would kill myself when that happened. we would be together for exactly a year and that'd be the end of it.

needless to say, i was very upset when i heard that but the boyfriend i had back then wasn't the one she was talking about.

it was simony.

the good news she had for me at the end though, was that i would meet another, much better than that one, and we would be happy.


my words of bravado to her back then were: alright, so let it happen. get it over and done with and then let's go on to the good stuff.

what she didn't know was that i had asked my mother to help get some things for me and spent that time in bed. i cried like i were a violin string strung too tight - i had howl-shrieked my pain and - for the lack of a less melodramatic word - anguish like i were about to break.

thankfully i get over things as such quick: i was done by the time my mother returned later that day. i moped a little but nothing as intense as that kinda expression.


..now that simony's over (phew) - here's looking forward at the future. i'm not looking for love, at love, suchlike.

i'm just not looking. i get followed about by random acquaintances as usual, but i pay them no heed. i get invitations to be f* buddies but i'm not that interested - i choose my f* buddies, they don't choose me. emotional needs satisfied because there aren't any, physical needs satisfied by my paramours and most importantly, my Lord satisfies my spiritual needs.

what more do i ask for? :) i'm living the perfect life! amen to that!

happiness

happiness comes when you don't expect it.

expectations, that's what i'm talking about. don't expect, and you get it.


but if you expect quality, you tend to get it. and when you get quality, you are happy. chicken and egg?

yes.