now i understand the preciousness of blogs - they're away from the public. online, and away from the public. i know i can as easily keep a journal, but are these sentiments going to be lugged around, on modern papyrus?

i'd rather these be kept within cyberspace, where they bear no weight other than the gravity of the meaning the words carry.

unsurprisingly, it is also only today that i truly understand the existence of the argument "if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, has there been a sound at all?"

the issue here is not really about the tree falling, but more of whether there is anyone to hear it. right now, i want someone to hear what i have to say. an anonymous listening ear, i suppose.


i posted something angry on facebook yesterevening, when i couldn't for the life of me take the noise level in the house. people were simply talking too loudly. i'd always been the merry person, who doesn't mind a party myself, but i cannot take the person whose normal decibel level is set on "jarring".

that sort of volume is reserved for fishwives and the geriatric, when they've gone deaf.

and day in, day out, the tv's blaring, the laptops are playing singaporean drama serials - people don't sleep till late, the only time when there is real privacy and quiet is between 2am and 7am. the rest of the time there will be people around.

and last night, i couldn't take it anymore, and i posted something angry. it was without naming anyone, but i guess it's just obvious. the responses i got were just as obvious. suffice to say, without meaning to extrapolate, it was a childish act on both ends.

i could've spoken up instead of being angry, and she... she could've given more understanding. given who she is (observed from day-to-day living), however, i realise that it will not be above her to react the way she reacted.

could i have behaved differently though?

could i, and if i could, would i? am i able to rise above myself, "act out of the ordinary", and have avoided this altogether? are we - she and i - the same, in the way that we are not able to rise above ourselves?

or is she already rising above herself and letting it go, as i am currently rising above myself and letting it go? do i give her enough credit? should i?

what's the issue, now?


...sadly, i'm confounded. right now i'm enjoying the quietness, but on the other hand, hm. i've a pissy person living in close quarters. i mean, i like her. just not when she's this loud. it's not really her fault, i suppose, more of the nature of the living in a place so full of people.

and this affirms the idea that i really need to move out of here. not that i dislike the place and the people, no - more to avoid the friction. one step at a time, one step at a time.